“Kendall, can I have one of your school pictures?”
Kendall had grown up a tomboy, raised on athletics. She rarely wore skirts or dresses except for special occasions.
Today, was one of those occasions. It wasn’t just because it was school picture day…this was going to be a gift for her Mom.
Kendall had always wanted a “Gunne-Sax” outfit. Kendall’s mom had taken her on a very special shopping trip. Very special because she and Mom rarely ever got to go to the Mall.
On this trip, Mom helped her pick out the fancy outfit she’d “pined” for and (to top it off) her first makeup – which she was also wearing for school pictures. Dressed in lilac and white with lace and frills, Kendal’s face was radiant in soft shades of subtle pink and purple. Her face seemed to glow.
Kendall kept her deepest thoughts at bay. She dared not think about what she’d left behind, the day she left home. She dared not contemplate what tomorrow would bring or the changes that WERE coming. She transitioned her focus from lurking fear to the boy standing near her.
Kendall had never seen a boy look at her like that. She couldn’t put her finger on – the look – but it gave her a warm fuzzy as she said, “sure” without a clue about what to do next.
At 14 years old, Kendall was a late bloomer. She’d noticed a few young boys along the way but never had time to let her thoughts go beyond casual conversation or an innocent glance from afar.
She had no idea how much this first interaction with Tim might affect how she looked at life…years down the road.
Tim should have been no different from any of the other kids she had met over the years on the Tennis circuit. Someone to exchange small talk with.
But this time, this place, this city and these circumstances were…different. This wasn’t a come ‘n go weekend tournament event. This was day to day.
All it took was ONE brief exchange that would linger with Kendall for a long time.
Tim had brown hair and blue eyes. He was “teenage cute.” Kendall didn’t think of herself as anything special. Just a girl who could play tennis, but a girl with BIG high school dreams that needed to take flight NOW.
Within the first week of school, Kendall heard noises outside the house and went to the window. She saw someone playing basketball. A boy…
Squinting her eyes to focus on the “who,” she realized he looked a whole lot like “Brown haired-Blue eyed, can I have your picture?” Tim
Her normally “lighter than air”, “serve ‘n volley”, “double time it” feet were cemented to the carpet. Were those her nerves?
Blue eyes was a basketball player. She was a tennis player. They had nothing in common.
So why was she watching him from the corner of the window – feet still glued to the floor?
She would have given most anything to have stepped outside to say hello. To have made a new friend. But for some reason, as much as she knew she might like him…her instinct (or fear) held her back.
Tim returned twice more to play basketball that week and never returned.
Kendall’s nerves had prevented her from saying anything more than hello to him. As time went on she relegated herself to appreciating him from afar, glancing in his direction.
Freshman year and Sophomore year passed. She never dated anyone seriously in High School.
The only boy she wanted to go out with was Tim but he’d moved on. He dated other girls and spiritually had broken her heart. She couldn’t help but wonder, How do you get over someone you never even got to talk to in the first place?
Kendall had built Tim up in her mind as being the only boy for her instead of seeing him as a long-term crush. A crush that Kendall would have easily sacrificed her purity for.
Her lessons in perseverance, purity and patience were just getting started.
Kendall wouldn’t be able to reconcile her “limited past” with Tim for two decades.
What Kendall didn’t yet realize was that she wasn’t really looking for love…..she was looking for something no boy, no man could provide…
“Resolving the Past” follows in Part II