Much as I’ve been resistant, it’s come to my attention that layer by layer, I need to uncover the past.
Doing so is not easy. I took yet another step of faith a couple of weeks ago.
A step I’ve been putting off.
It wasn’t something I wanted to write about, but obedience trumps my carnal nature.
My reality is:
I’m a sinner.
I am full of sin.
But there’s a lot more to fleshly sin than meets the eye.
It’s called FAITH
While Sin is often obvious, there are often Sins in the past that we (I) may not be able to recognize.
By nature, I want to deny that there was anything I might have done as an iniquity against God.
The reality is, I was too scared to face my Sin head on.
Too embarrassed to consider what I might find if I sought to know the truth.
Not unlike some of you who might be reading this.
I really don’t want to believe I am imperfect….
But like it or not, I am not perfect and I CANNOT grow unless I let go of
my sins, my trespasses and the TRUTHS that hurt.
I need to face ALL these head ON to become WHOLE again.
One day I felt His Spirit move in my Soul….
I dove in. I asked. I prayed.
And yes, I was nervous.
But I knew God wanted me to begin to uncover the sin I couldn’t see.
He doesn’t want me to remain in fragments
He wanted me to HEAL
God is always GOOD.
Having prayed, I waited.
His response time varies. Sometimes it might take months, a year, even years.
Sometimes hours or days.
When we ask questions or pray fervently; God does answer.
And this time was no different.
About 2-3 weeks after I requested His help; He delivered.
He provided the memory and identified it as my answer.
The Sin that left a stain in my past (decades ago), wasn’t something I sought out.
In fact, it found me.
The sin landed smack dab in my lap and I didn’t have to go looking for it.
What was the vision he provided? I saw the Ouija Board.
It’s been nearly 40 years since that happened.
And I still remember bits and pieces of the experience pretty clearly.
I was at a birthday party, I don’t remember whose party it was.
“Play time” was over, followed by light snack and cake. Then, the games were “rolled” out.
But my parents had arrived early to pick me up…
I’d never heard of Ouija, or seen one, nor was I familiar with it’s purpose, intent or origin.
Given that I was about to leave, I ended up being the first person to start.
I wasn’t sure of what question I wanted to ask it…so I threw out the first thing that came to mind.
“Will I be a tennis star, Will I win Wimbledon?”
I really had no expectations for this “gizmo” but I did have HIGH hopes in what it MIGHT tell me
However, when the “pointer” moved (without any effort from me) I truly started to cringe.
As it answered my question and “glided” across the board, it took on a life of its own.
I know my analytical instincts at that age, were not developed enough yet,
but there was something very wrong, VERY CREEPY with what was happening.
The Ouija told me the answer was: NO.
I was stunned and felt kinda sick.
Darkness was present and presiding.
I didn’t like the answer. I didn’t “like” the thing then and almost felt repelled by it during and after.
However, I initially DID put “stock” into what it MIGHT be able to do, because I bothered to ask it
Whether or not I KNEW it was right or wrong.
By merely asking that one question,
I invited something into my life that I never intended nor wanted.
I invited the opportunity for Evil into my life.
The board didn’t lie to me. but by consulting it – merely asking a question, I was exposing myself to
Spiritual Attack. I’m not joking either….
Even if it was telling me a truth. It was also making a future prediction. So, instead of receiving a
prophetic truth from My Lord, or His clarity and wisdom – without knowing it I allowed myself to be “fed”
by the enemy – fed information from an unreliable source.
The same source that lied to Eve in The Garden of Eden
God, What had I done?
In the last year, God has shared with me His wisdom about why my dreams to achieve “successful” status
in Professional Tennis didn’t come to fruition. I was blessed by that post just by writing it.
Read it here: Love Means EVERYTHING in Tennis
Tough as that was to write, it was one of two of my favorite blog posts ever.
I’d never had that kind of conversation with God before.
God has plans for me that I cannot see. Plans I do not need to know about until due time.
God’s perfect Will for me is what matters.
Yes, I was only 8 or 10 years old when this Ouija experience occurred.
I was ignorant about this tool.
Yes, I tried it once…and I knew at that moment ONCE was too much.
I had no idea that using a Ouija board would be considered on the same level as:
consulting a medium
But my answer was clear. I had given this device a toe-hold in my life.
I had stepped into the “dark side’ without recognizing it.
Though I am embarrassed by my actions, I feel fortunate.
God showered me with Grace, and removed the iniquity.
In the last weeks, Jesus broke the bondage that started long ago.
I am still saddened that it happened at all…but that decades old “stain” has now been cleansed.
I AM FREE!
More than anything, I am grateful that the Holy Spirit nudged me to pray and that I didn’t resist.
I am Blessed that God allowed me to see what I couldn’t see on my own.
I’m forgiven because I sought mercy and edification.
Don’t kid yourself about the power behind a Ouija.
Like it or not; Ouija boards are not a source of entertainment. They are a source of Spiritual Warfare, of
demons and darkness. Leviticus 19:31 and 20:6 admonishes us not to engage with them.
If we’re looking for answers, we won’t find what we NEED through a Ouija.