I don my garden boots and pull on my garden gloves. I stare at the lawn in front of me. The Whirlybird tool and bag of weed ‘n feed at my feet.
I’ve changed car engine oil, mowed lawns, power washed and stained fences. I’ve learned how to remove wallpaper from walls BEFORE painting them. I would still mow my lawn (if my husband didn’t mind my ways and my style and) if my son hadn’t become such an ace at doing it himself.
I pour the weed ‘n feed into the Whirlybird and having arrived at my starting point, I try to rotate the knob/wheel.
The rotating wheel won’t budge.
I return to the bag and pour the contents back in. Hmm…
This is not rocket science.
If I can learn and master video software programs for movie making, I KNOW I can do this.
I rotate the wheel with the container empty. It spins. It’s empty so nothing comes out.
I re-pour the feed into the container and rotate the wheel. NOTHING
Seriously?! What gives?
The words on the handle that are supposed to help me don’t connect in my brain.
And I already decide NO – I am not making a phone call to ask for help with this plastic gadget.
I fumble with my fingers for a couple more seconds. I know the settings button won’t help, but I see another button or knob located on the handle and shrug my shoulders while I hold it down and rotate. Shazam! Rotating the handle by itself didn’t work but when I pressed down the knob AND rotated the handle I watched the tiny granules spill out in front of me in a 180* pattern as I had seen before.
By the time I got finished with the 3rd container I still had a few bits left. This is where I learned the wheel was less helpful and finishing the job was more a matter of a discerning eye and manual technique.
There were a bunch of dirt patches that this modern little miracle had missed. A few more shakes of the Whirly-gizmo and I realized I could manually re-direct the exact areas that needed more tending to with just gentle shaking from overhead.
Each morning I wake up (I am NOT a morning person) and apply my Essential Oils. Then I turn to my daily devo and read Scripture. I try to repeat that same scripture lesson at night before bed because that is when the essence of the days message really sinks into my soul.
Usually, that is. Today, God took me aside and spoke quietly in his soothing voice. I LOVE it when he does that! And taking care of the lawn was part of that lesson. My lesson in how He is taking care of me. The road to my green lawn isn’t paved. I’m going to have some work to do in cleaning it up. But I need to have a change in my heart attitude and be patient with going the distance.
I’ve talked about wanting to be published before. I tried to stop that wanting last year because I had the wrong reasons for wanting to be published. I was being selfish and the publishing goal was becoming an idol. God recognized that long before I did.
While I initially laid down the childhood goal of writing a book and being published — the enemy has continued to try and seduce me with that dream. My God has been laying the foundation of growing a beautiful lawn as part of the garden of my life and the enemy has tried to shove a few weeds into the mix.
I want to believe that writing is a gift that God has given me. Whether it is a Spiritual Gift is something I don’t know yet. But the writing he wants me to do, the writing that I probably need to do won’t happen easily without having to work through, find the weeds and pull them.
It won’t be easy but I have to remind myself of the last 24 hours of Jesus life. Those were the most painful hours in the Life of a Man who changed the world. A man, the Savior who has and continues to change me.
He wants more room to work with me. He wants to change me. He wants me to produce more fruit. To show others what a bountiful garden looks like. Who am I to say no? I may have free will…but because of Grace I don’t want to say no.
I can’t see what the future holds and he knows I am better off that way. I am better off trusting him and surrendering. Letting him feed me through the Living Water of his word and weeding out the sin that holds me back and allowing his words to guide me through what will be his gift of healing to me. Maybe in the long run those words will help others, but I leave that decision up to him.
All that from the 20 minutes it took me to tend the lawn. Go Figure!