In The Father’s Hands.
I went to bed early. Exhaustion had permeated my being: physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was ready to just curl up under my covers and hibernate.
Sleep arrived quickly, which didn’t happen often.
I don’t know how I got to where I was, but I distinctly remember “hovering” in the air, over a city suburb.
I recognized the area. We (someone was with me) were in Kent. Positioned near the last tennis club I’d trained at prior to stepping away from competitive tennis. This is where I had trained with the club Pro, during my last year of competition. My Father had opted to let someone else work with me during the weekdays.
Since Dad was still working and Mom was retired, if I needed to go somewhere, Mom would drop me off and pick me up.
In this vision, I could see from afar that her car was leaving the club parking lot. I knew she and I were both inside the vehicle (even though I was looking on the scene, from above, as an observer) and we would be driving the familiar route home; heading up the long winding drive back to Federal Way from Kent.
Just as the car was hillside, I went from hovering and airborne to sitting in the front passenger seat. This is where I used to sit when Mom and I would drive together.
In this vision, she was wearing her favorite outfit. A blue jacket, white long-sleeved blouse that had a multi-colored grape print and navy blue slacks. Her eyes focused straight ahead, both hands on the wheel. I turned from looking at her to looking forward and started talking.
“I’ve missed you so much, Mom. Dad’s missed you so much. There is so much I want to share with you. So many things to say. I never got to say goodbye. I never thought you’d die. I need you so much, I have so many questions to ask. I don’t even know where to start.”
I turned my head from looking forward (or at the surroundings outside the car) back to my Mom. But Mom’s visual appearance had changed; her clothing had changed, her general appearance.
In an instant, she had – what I would call – “transfigured” (look up Matthew 17:1-9) because her appearance had gone from what I recognized on earth to something ethereal. Her presence resembled more of what we would call, “Angelic.”
Her favorite outfit was gone and it was as if she were clothed in white linen. Not the linen you and I would recognize. This was almost formless. I really couldn’t make out a definite form of earthly body. I knew it was her, but she was different. She was now perfect. She had been changed.
Without turning to look at me, Mom kept her eyes focused forward and spoke:
“Everything will be alright. It will all work out.”
[As she started to answer, something else happened. I had initially turned my head to look her direction when I asked my question. I also saw something that stunned me.
Positioned initially out of view, perched between the driver’s and passenger seat appeared a brilliant light. It was fiery in the middle and glowed radiance outward. It was the brightest light I had (and still have) ever seen. I only saw it for a moment.]
Her response was not the answer I was looking for but it was the answer God intended for me, at that time.
Once I turned away from looking at Mom and made visual contact with “The Light” I was translated outside the car and hovering over a valley. Not necessarily the Kent Valley. I saw the car ascending the top of a hill and driving up, over and beyond it. It all happened lightning fast. The car was gone and she disappeared. I really wanted to go with her, but it wasn’t my time yet. This would have to be enough to suffice.
If God’s intent was to give me hope, I guess he did.
While I didn’t get to connect with her as I would have liked to in life…he gave me two things I needed, actually three:
1) He let me see her, first as I remembered her in life, in context of our way of life.
2) Then he showed me that she was no longer of this world.
3) That she was now in His presence. Living in peace, perfection and out of pain.
Looking back, this vision was also indicating a prophetic change for me. My Dad had always been my Coach. He’d trained me. They had both been active in my tennis development. Whether practice, commuting or competition.
In this vision, I knew subconsciously Mom was gone. It took me much longer to understand this meant my Dad had transitioned “away” from being my coach. I now understand that this vision was a sign that not only would I no longer compete but be an indication that changes were coming and would happen fast.
God had removed my Mother from the earth and this was indicating that my Father’s place in my life would be changing, too. It was not a message I would have wanted to know back then and was not ready to understand until recently.
Just as God tells us everything we need to know in His Word, to navigate this life. This vision had a multi-layered message designed to be revealed at His choosing and in His timing.
Like an onion, time is his tool. While preparing the onion might cause me to tear up/cry during the “Prep Work” the final product is what he is after. God is revealing what I need to know, as it is beneficial. He does this out of Love. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Mom had raised me and taken care of me, nurturing me like a mother is designed to. But this transition was Him letting me know that He was in control. He always had been and would continue to be faithful.
Mom’s journey was complete and now it was my turn to walk with Him. She and I never had eye contact and our conversation was limited by the nature of God’s laws. However, His was a reassurance to me that even though I would no longer see her in this life, she had fulfilled her purpose and had gone onto glory. I was now In The Father’s Hands. He actually had full control of the car, the destination and my purpose.
The Spiritual Realm is and always has been very real. God is not about to leave my side. He won’t leave yours either.
He never has. He never will. He takes care of his Sheep, He had created both of us. I needed to trust, just as she had.
John 10:27New Living Translation (NLT)
27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.