“Tie Up Loose Ends” (or Get your Spiritual House in Order)
(This post was originally written in 2016. It was updated on 5/29/18.)
Back when this was initially written, I “followed” many more prophecy web sites than I do now. In the past year, I was given a message of caution regarding this practice. As in, I was spending more time trying to find a Word from God outside the Word of God than seeking “The Logos” Himself. Meaning His desire for me was to spend less time “virtually” and more time in Scripture and study (as The Bereans did).
If you’re anything like me, that isn’t easy to do – because I yearn to fellowship with my Brother’s and Sisters in the faith. The days we are facing – we have been told about. The lessons we must learn and preparations we must make are found within God’s Promises of the Old and New Testaments.
In the years since I began writing – I had no idea that the subject matter contained on this post could end up having so much meaning to so many in The Body of Christ. Even two years later…I still recall the day this happened. Still recall the feelings and sensations associated with it. Yet, even with the revelation and insight shared recently, I remain fearfully in AWE of THE Living God that YOU and I serve. May the account you are about to read be a blessing to you.
Then I heard the Words repeated again, “Tie up loose ends”
In one of my more recent blog posts, The Lord had indicated it was time to write about February 19. Yesterday marked three months since that event happened. Part of me wants to keep what happened quiet. The righteous, “God side,” of me knows how wrong that is.
Why did I want to keep it quiet? Because I’m just one small voice in a sea of noise and distractions and busy schedules.
Yet, it’s the power of the Word of God that works on the heart and teaches us to realize and recognize that WE truly are vessels of God’s Light on Earth.
We battle daily against a carnal nature and against forces who don’t think too highly of people “NOTW” (Not of This World.) No matter.
The Victory is won. When you STAND with Jesus. It took me a LONG time to learn this.
The Holy Spirit Outpouring:
I have spent most of my life huddled in the shadows, trying to stay out of the way. After years of hearing from an onslaught of surrounding voices that you have little value or worth, you tend to seek out the corners to avoid finger pointing and accusations of failure. I didn’t start out this life wanting to amount to NOTHING….Nor was I looking for it.
Hurting People Hurt Others
People who are scared or have an inferiority complex say things that should never be uttered.
Low self-esteem and a need for control make people berate other human beings.
I’ve seen it and heard it all, both privately and in public.
* * *
I remember feeling both anger and grief at my mother when she died (I was 15 when that happened). Two years later, I remember gazing at Dad in the casket realizing I was all alone. Not only had my parents (in effect) abandoned me but God let it happen.
There I was:
No protection. No advocate. No help.
I had few tears to cry that day but the spiritual tears of sorrow were just starting and would linger for a long, long time.
I know I’ve forgiven Mom for dying. I think I’ve forgiven Dad…though I haven’t written about it yet.
I won’t write here about what happened after they were buried because in the last couple of years God has taught me a lot about who He is, how He works and why we (I) have to relinquish control to Him. With that being said…I still have a blog post to write.
Waaay back when, some of you will remember learning about something called The Shemitah and The Jubilee Year. Realistically, only The Father knows when these are. Dates and timing are entirely His business. However, I had also heard about something called a Holy Spirit outpouring that was expected to be starting. At that time, The Shemitah had concluded and we were starting The Jubilee Year. I’d read the Jubilee was known as a time of God’s restoration.
Long before I left Facebook, an online friend (Mikayla) had confirmed God’s directive (that I was given several years earlier) for me to start a blog. We were talking about my past. She was a fantastic stepping stone for my faith walk. But our correspondence ended when I deactivated Facebook. I now understand this was part of God’s plan.
Ecclesiastes speaks of there being a time and season for everything (Ecc 3:1). The one thing she told me was that while Job had lost so much, God also saw fit to restore what had been taken. Just like God knew Jesus would die the first death, he KNEW a greater restoration was forthcoming with his resurrection.
As the season of my online friendship with Mikayla waned, I struggled because I was left quietly alone. This was a really tough time. In recollection, it was a season of silence.
I had never heard the terminology “Holy Spirit Outpouring” or “Anointing.” It’s kind of funny that although Mom raised me in the Lutheran Church (MS) that after she passed, I never really went back for any extended time. (And I have visited A LOT of churches of various denominations.) But I digress…
It was as I learned about the “Outpouring” of The Spirit and I started to read scripture that I started to wonder. I recall thinking that if there was an outpouring going on, I was fearful I would be overlooked. I didn’t really know what this Outpouring might mean but I knew it involved a Spiritual significance.
I was reading stories each day about this outpouring and my spirit ached so I started asking, “What about me, God? If I am not sealed, Please SEAL me – give me your protection.”
I also remember feeling (or maybe fearing), no matter what I did, I wouldn’t be good enough. (I am to note here that although Mom baptized me as as infant, I felt I needed be baptized as as adult. This is something I also wrote about on this blog and that occurred in August 2014 – 18 months prior to this supernatural occurrence.)
As a human being (and because of what happened in Eden) – I’m broken. Though my true brokenness occurred decades ago, it started emotionally and progressed into the physical. I blame no one, because this is what Spiritual Warfare is all about. Warfare starts in the Spiritual and then manifests in the natural (Physical world).
I have learned it does little good for me to try and forget because even as I live and breathe there is an accuser at large. The only remedy for that is my “ointment” in Yahushua (SS 1:3)
Although I was already spiritually saved because I had accepted, repented and just completed full immersion Adult baptism, I knew I was still carrying “garbage” around with me that had me tied up in bondage. I was a saved-sinner, but I was tired and weary from fighting a war that I didn’t know was not mine to fight.
At this point, I still intended to write my — story — (memoir) and had felt I was to press onward. But God works in ways that are a mystery and that story now seems so much less important.
I’ve kept you waiting long enough – here it is.
The morning of February 19, I drove my kids to school, as usual. The sky seemed brighter than usual. As I got out of the car to escort my daughter to the cross walk, I noticed the air. It was incredibly fresh, like a spring rain had fallen, except we’d had no rain in days and the skies were clear and blue.
I returned to the car and five minutes later, I walked my son over, and not only was the air fresh but it almost felt — tangible. Like an electric current was traveling through the air. I could feel this electricity surrounding me. I could breathe it in. The only way to describe it is to say an invisible atmospheric shift was occurring. As if the skies had been rolled back to expose the unlimited power of heaven.
The space around me pulsated with life. Like a new energy field was developing; although, as yet unseen. The only way to carnally describe this is to equate it with the way a person who is an Adrenaline junkie might feel skiing off the edge of the Himalaya’s – without having looked at a map. I couldn’t see what I was feeling but I knew it was there. And I was feeling an EXCITEMENT that words cannot convey. This “high” had no borders or definitions..
I left campus and drove back towards home, but stopped by Target first.
Even in the car, I could still feel the energy while I was driving. It was weird and wonderful. The intensity was different but still present.
Ten minutes after I left the school parking lot, I arrived in the Target parking lot. I looked at the building, then the sky. The electrified feeling was not just in the air, but with me in the car. At that point, I knew I wasn’t alone. I had no idea what might happen, until it did. The energy surged from the air surrounding me and physically entered my body. Think of what you see when you witness a lightning bolt, a surge of electricity releases from the sky to the land.
This spiritual and invisible wave of lightning-like energy POURED into my being; Top to bottom, every nook and cranny. Everything – every part of me was filled/consumed/radiating this energy source. I have NEVER felt so ALIVE in my life.
I have never felt that kind of warmth and love. I felt Heaven — Literally and physically. This energy force outpouring happened in a matter of 2 minutes or less. I recognized when its presence pulled back, I didn’t want it to. I think that is when I might have started crying.
I totally GET why people who have visited heaven in NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) say it was so hard to come back after they’d seen Heaven’s beauty and God’s Glory.
The effects of that moment, those minutes, lasted for a really LONG time. Like three – four weeks. I did walk into Target after it happened that day but I did so in a state of utter shock. I arrived home completely spent. It was such an ALL-CONSUMING – (invisible in the natural) fire that all I could do was lay on the couch and rest. I think it was either that day or the following that I timidly approached God and asked him, “What was that? What just happened?”
When I opened the Bible, the pages did so to the Book of Revelation, at Chapter 7. When I started reading, what jumped out at me was verse 3-4.
“Wait! Don’t hurt the land or the sea or the trees until we have placed the seal of God on the foreheads of his servants.” And I heard how many were marked with the seal of God….
I have never forgotten that day….and in the days that followed I tried to make since of the how’s and why’s? The month of February turned into the month of March…
My “encounter” had happened the month before but I still couldn’t shake that it had greater meaning. So, I proceeded to further examine what I could….
It occurred on February 19. If dates are important to God, why would this be any different? So translating that date into biblical references lead to the Book of Acts and Chapter 2:19. That verse didn’t really resonate, but I soon discovered there were preceding verses found in Chapter 2 titled “The Holy Spirit Comes” and while reading arrived as the words in verse 15 came to life:
“15. Some of you are saying, these people are drunk. It isn’t true! It’s much too early for that. People don’t get drunk by nine o’clock in the morning. 16. No, what you see this morning was predicted centuries ago by the prophet Joel.”
(This Supernatural event occurred about 8:15 am.)
“17. In those days I will pour out my Spirit upon all my servants, men and women alike, and they will prophesy.”
I think I have not wanted to write this experience up because doing so is God’s way of reinforcing His work in my life. It also means my life is completely changed — because of, and FOR God.
I thought for a really long time that his purpose for my life was to write my memoir — until I realized how seemingly unimportant that story felt compared to what God WANTS me to tell — about why Jesus was the LIFE that mattered.
Yes, we are “broken humans” because of sin. And yes, when our Spirits are broken our SOUL’s are profoundly affected. I could feel the effects of sin, especially internally. It was affecting my ability to write (and as such, serve Him.)
When He had the Holy Spirit pour into and through me, He brought a manifestation of Heaven with it. It was one of those moments that I realized God’s power is a very DELICATE balancing act. Too much of his power could have killed me (as I understand it, our human bodies on this earth aren’t designed to live with the full presence of God in us to the extent He exists in Heaven.)
But I had told him in the last year, I knew I couldn’t write what I needed to because I was too broken to pull it together.
Oh dear Lord, I was too broken to tie up loose ends….
Father – Lord Jesus: You have begun to heal me from the inside out so I could fulfill my calling…..I needed Your FULL infusion so that I could do what you’ve asked me to. Oh Lord, God, help me.
Closing Footnote: During recent prayer time the Holy Spirit shared that the experience I was given and described above was not by accident. It occurred so that I could write about it and share what I felt and sensed – for a reason…what you have read about is what will happen to God’s elect when the Latter Rain Anointing occurs.
This anointing is not something that will be led by ANY of the churches (as in originating from a building) it will be anything but associated with the “works” of man.
It will be very much like what occurred in that upper room in the Book of Acts. Those it happens to may not even be in the same room or city – but if I’m not mistaken we were told in the scriptures that Yahushua will regather His elect from the 4 corners of the earth at the end of the age.
Our bodies, by God’s workmanship as Master Designer, each contain a Spirit. These Spirits were prepared to reflect the “essence” of Jesus when He walked the earth. The very Spirits within our bodies are being prepared (through trials and human testings) to become illuminated at a specified (appointed time). Hence, the “Lights within our Spirits” WILL begin to shine brighter as light of day in this world grows dimmer.
And…that was why I wanted at the beginning to keep it quiet. But this Transformation really isn’t a frightening process – because for whatever reason, I was given “a taste” of that which is to come. Ephesians 6:10-18 specifically outlines the battle we face. The battle isn’t just carnal. That’s the battle we SEE but the battle 1st begins in the Spiritual and then manifests. I know most of you are fighting some really fierce battles right now. Don’t wonder what you’re doing wrong. Recognize the TRUTH of Ephesians 6 and REMAIN standing with ARMOR ON.
Know this: when The Anointing Falls it will be even more profound that described herein. It is not something to be afraid of yet it will alter every part of the body even down to the cellular level…
I hope this has been a blessing to you. Shalom.