Tie Up Loose Ends
After I wrote the notes for last week’s Lioness call in, I was fortunate to have an email conversation with Michael regarding the confirmations he received from those words.
Tonight, I sat on the couch perusing various prophecy site posts and the WordPress Reader/Sites I follow.
Then it repeated again, “Tie up loose ends,” the word from the Lord that I shared by email.
In one of my more recent blog posts, The Lord had indicated it was time to write about February 19. Yesterday marked three months since that event happened. Part of me wants to keep what happened quiet. The righteous, “God side” of me knows how wrong that is.
Why do I want to keep it quiet? Because I’m beginning to realize that as God’s Light shines from within each of his children — at some point our Lights will begin to shine brighter as the lights of this world grow dimmer. And that is a frightening concept, because as humans we battle daily against a carnal nature.
It is personally frightening, because I have spent most of my life huddled in the shadows, staying out of the way. After years of hearing from an onslaught of surrounding voices that you have little value or worth, you tend to seek out the corners to avoid finger pointing and accusations of failure. I didn’t start out this life wanting to amount to NOTHING….Nor was I looking for it.
Hurting People Hurt Others
People who are scared or have an inferiority complex say things that should never be uttered.
Low self-esteem and a need for control make people berate other human beings.
I’ve seen it and heard it all, both privately and in public.
* * *
As I reflected on the thoughts Michael sent me regarding my “Tying up loose ends” message, the one that stood out is something many of us can likely relate to. How often we demand to know where God is in the middle of the muck and mire.
I remember feeling both anger and grief at my mother when she died. Two years later, I remember gazing at Dad in the casket realizing I was all alone. Not only had they abandoned me but God let it happen and there I was with No protection. No advocate. No help. I had few tears to cry that day but the spiritual tears of sorrow were just starting and would linger for a long, long time.
I know I’ve forgiven Mom for dying. Now I’m wondering if I still have to forgive Dad.
I won’t write here about what happened after they were buried because I have to work through that still. But I don’t think I can dive into finishing off the gritty stuff until I share God’s goodness with the group.
Write It to Lioness
Lioness of Judah is a small group of saints I know. We reason that if Jesus is the Lion of Judah, then His Bride must be the Lioness. Our founding scripture is Numbers 23:24.
I’m writing this now, because tonight he told me; “Write it to Lioness.” I think I am to consider this gathering a safety net. So, if it’s time to tie up those loose ends, I guess I’d better get to work. [Once released to Lioness of Judah, we felt the Holy Spirit’s prompting to post it here, on Increase Glory. –Ed.]
* * *
Several months ago I remember reading through some online posts that an outpouring of the Spirit appeared to be starting. The Shemitah had concluded and we were starting The Jubilee Year. I’d read the Jubilee was known as a time of God’s restoration.
Long before I left Facebook, an online friend (Mikayla) had confirmed God’s directive (that I was given several years earlier) for me to start a blog. We were talking about my past. She was a fantastic stepping stone for my faith walk. But our correspondence ended when I deactivated Facebook. I now understand this was part of God’s plan.
Ecclesiastes speaks of there being a season for everything. The one thing she told me was that while Job had lost so much, God also saw fit to restore what had been taken. Just like God knew Jesus would die the first death, he KNEW a greater restoration was forthcoming with his resurrection.
As the season of my online friendship with Mikayla waned, I struggled because I was left quietly alone. This was a really tough time. In recollection, it was a season of silence.
I do not recall how or when I became familiar with Debra. I just know that it was orchestrated by The Father.
I mentioned earlier that I had heard about an outpouring of the Spirit. It was about this time that I learned about Lioness. I also recall feeling that if there was an outpouring going on, I was fearful I would be overlooked. I didn’t really know what it meant but I knew it involved a Spiritual significance.
I was reading stories each day about this outpouring and my spirit ached. I wondered, “What about me, God? If I am not sealed, Please SEAL me – give me your protection.”
I also remember feeling, no matter what I did, I wouldn’t be good enough.
I’m broken and have been broken for decades. Although I was already spiritually saved because I had accepted, repented and just completed full immersion Adult baptism, I knew I was still carrying garbage around with me that had me tied up in bondage. I was a saved-sinner, but I was tired and weary from fighting a war that I didn’t know was not mine to fight.
At this point, although I knew God wanted me to write my — story — and had prompted me to press onward, I couldn’t.
The morning of February 19, I drove my kids to school, as usual. The sky seemed brighter than usual. As I got out of the car to escort my daughter to the cross walk, I noticed the air. It was incredibly fresh, like a spring rain had fallen, except we’d had no rain in days and the skies were clear and blue.
I returned to the car and five minutes later, I walked my son over, and not only was the air fresh but it almost felt — tangible. Like an electric current was traveling through the air. I could feel this electricity surrounding me. I could breathe it in. The only way to describe it is to say an invisible atmospheric shift was occurring. As if they skies had been rolled back to expose the unlimited power of heaven.
The space around me pulsated with life. Like a new energy was field was developing; although, as yet unseen. The only way to carnally describe this is to equate it with the way a person who is an Adrenaline junkie might feel skiing off the edge of the Himalaya’s – without having looked at a map. I couldn’t see what I was feeling but I knew it was there. And I was feeling an EXCITEMENT that words cannot convey. This “high” had no borders or definitions..
I left campus and drove back towards home, but stopped by Target first.
Even in the car, I could still feel the energy while I was driving. It was weird and wonderful. The intensity was different but still present.
Ten minutes after I left the school parking lot, I arrived in the Target parking lot. I looked at the building, then the sky. The electrified feeling was not just in the air, but with me in the car. At that point, I knew I wasn’t alone. I had no idea what might happen, until it did. The energy surged from the air surrounding me and physically entered my body. Think of what you see when you witness a lightning bolt, a surge of electricity releases from the sky to the land.
This spiritual and invisible wave of lightning-like energy POURED into my being; Top to bottom, every nook and cranny. Everything – every part of me was filled/consumed/radiating this energy source. I have NEVER felt so ALIVE in my life.
I have never felt that kind of warmth and love. I felt Heaven — Literally and physically. This energy force outpouring happened in a matter of 2 minutes or less. I recognized when its presence pulled back, I didn’t want it to. I think that is when I might have started crying.
I totally GET why people who have visited heaven in NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) say it was so hard to come back after they’d seen Heaven’s beauty and God’s Glory.
The effects of that moment, those minutes, lasted for a really LONG time. Like three – four weeks. I did walk into Target after it happened that day but I did so in a state of utter shock. I arrived home completely spent. It was such an ALL-CONSUMING – (invisible in the natural) fire that all I could do was lay on the couch and rest. I think it was either that day or the following that I timidly approached God and asked him, “What was that? What just happened?”
When I opened the Bible, it did so to the Book of Revelation, at Chapter 7. When I started reading, what jumped out at me was verse 3-4.
“Wait! Don’t hurt the land or the sea or the trees until we have placed the seal of God on the foreheads of his servants.” And I heard how many were marked with the seal of God….
I don’t remember exactly when I relayed this occurrence to Debra but one night I called her on Skype thinking it was a scheduled Lioness meeting. I knew meetings were one night and another morning, but this Tuesday night my mind fixated on there being a meeting — erroneously. That error turned into a major point of Revelation.
My “encounter” had happened the month before but I still couldn’t shake that it had greater meaning. So, we furthered the discussion and analyzed what we had.
It occurred on February 19. If dates are important to God, why would this be any different? So she suggested we translate that date into biblical references. In short order we went to the Book of Acts and looked up Chapter 2:19. That verse didn’t really resonate, so we hopped around and in the preceding verses found that Chapter 2 is titled “The Holy Spirit Comes” and when we arrived as verse 15 these words came to life:
“15. Some of you are saying, these people are drunk. It isn’t true! It’s much too early for that. People don’t get drunk by nine o’clock in the morning. 16. No, what you see this morning was predicted centuries ago by the prophet Joel.”
(This Supernatural event occurred about 8:15 am.)
“17. In those days I will pour out my Spirit upon all my servants, men and women alike, and they will prophesy.”
I think I have not wanted to write this experience up because doing so is God’s way of reinforcing His work in my life. It also means my life is completely changed — because of, and FOR God.
My excuse for not writing my memoir — the story God wants me to tell — was because not only did I know I was emotionally BROKEN but I was also spiritually broken and my SOUL FELT broken. I could feel the effects of sin, especially internally. It was affecting my ability to write, to serve.
When He had the Holy Spirit pour into and through me, He brought a manifestation of Heaven with it. It was one of those moments that I realized God’s power is a very DELICATE balancing act. Too much of his power could have killed me (as I understand it, our human bodies on this earth aren’t designed to live with the full presence of God in us to the extent He exists in Heaven.)
But I had told him in the last year, I knew I couldn’t write what I needed to because I was too broken to pull it together.
Oh dear Lord, I was too broken to tie up loose ends….
You healed me from the inside out so I could fulfill my calling…..I needed Your infusion so that I could do what you’ve asked me to. Oh Lord, God, help me.