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Only Through Repentance

The National Day of Prayer was Thursday May 2nd. I don’t pay attention to most media so I only viewed this for the first time this morning.

 

 

From Deuteronomy 4:2 (KJV)- Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you.

 

 

The following video is 5:45 in length – but if you are stretched for time fast-forward to the 5:00 mark and start listening from there. He seems to begin quoting from Deuteronomy 4:2. However, there is only one way that Yahweh Adonai will heal this land and it takes more than prayer…

 

 

…It takes humbling oneself.

To “REPENT” (repenting/repentance) – or turning away from the sin/leaven and humbling one’s heart to submit to the Potter and allow The Holy Spirit (Ishshah) to cleanse our impurities.

Elohim listens and responds to those who both Pray and Repent

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The Algorithym of Unity

Unity

Diversity

Tolerance

Understanding

Recognize these words? Good. You should.

 

I am here to tell you something you need to know. Everything you thought you know – well, it’s not.

 

You’ve been hearing much rhetoric recently about there being “movement” to create unity.

Unity in the world.

Unity among men.

Unity among all faiths.

 

The common denominator in ALL of it – is a matrix (no, not exactly like the Keanu Reeves movie. You’ve got to remember that The Matrix is a Hollywood production.)

 

No, The Matrix I am talking about is a Godly One – and until this morning I really wasn’t sure it existed. The reason I say that is because during one of my daily in-depth bible studies recently I discovered The Word MATRIX in The Strong’s Dictionary. No Joke.

 

The Word Matrix can be found in Exodus 13:12 and Exodus 13:15 and Exodus 34:19. In addition, Numbers 3:12 and Numbers 18:15. There is only one root word to Matrix and it is found in The Hebrew:

 

H7358: from 7355; the womb; (comp to 7356) matrix, womb

7355: to fondle, to love, espec. to compassionate. Have compassion, love, mercy.

7356: from 7355, compassion (in the plur) by extension the womb (as cherishing the fetus) by impl. a maiden – bowels compassion, damsel, tender love (great, tender), mercy, pity, womb

 

Where is this WORD study leading? To be honest, I have studied The Word almost more diligently than I ever studied any subject in college (except maybe Qualitative and Quantitative Analysis)

I’ve been told a couple times in the past, that most people wouldn’t understand the way that I think. Until now, I don’t think I realized the implications of what that meant. It has an association with The Godly Matrix.

The Truth is that Scripture isn’t just a book of how to live well. And it isn’t just a nice history lesson. It is not just THE LIVING WORD. It is more. It is OUR MATRIX.

 

The Matrix of The People of God.

Eve was The Matrix. And The Serpent knew it. I am also under the impression that Adam knew it but for whatever reason he was silenced.

 

Back to the Title of this post.

You might have noticed a few blog posts back that I had mentioned I was no longer worthy of writing The Lord’s Words.

That was based on a dream I’d had. The dream was about The Bride and the apostate church. A larger hunk of that dream was personal in nature, so I shared what I could. The remaining personal interpretation was given yesterday and I better understand Yahshua’s righteousness and my position in Him. Praise God!

That being said, this blog still belongs to Him and Him only. I will only write as prompted.

He is having me return to another writing assignment I was tasked with sometime ago. For the last year or so I knew that I knew there was something I was supposed “to do” – that thing I was supposed to do was this writing assignment. I confess, I just wasn’t sure I could write it…but that doesn’t exempt me from what I have been asked to do.

And He has asked me to do this. There has been a fierce battle over this in The Spiritual Realm so I have a request: Please pray over me for this assignment. The writing is intended to benefit all those who are lost, broken, hurting, isolated and otherwise far from God.

I ask for you to leave any comments of encouragement and/or prayers on this blog post – but even if you pray silently as an intercessor…I thank you and Our Lord for those.]


 

The Believer’s Acronym for Unity is:

United  In   The  (Body of) Yahshua

 

The World is going to start talking a whole lot more about Unity and it won’t be related to Eternal life. The algorithym the world speaks about is related to CERN, AI, Google and a host of others you are likely (hopefully) already familiar with.

The Truth is this. The Algorithym of the Godly Matrix is going to bust wide open. This is going to happen either just before or when the Tribulation starts.

I have learned through a series of hard lessons not to mention dates or timing because I also just learned in the Spirit that because of the Time Space Continuum the time framework of Heaven doesn’t translate well into our world (consider the similarities in nature of how difficult it can be to translate the scrolls from their original language of Greek/Hebrew into a word form WE can understand.)

Again, we keep forgetting God Way’s are higher than ours.

 


One last thing I’ll mention. Quantum Physics.

Don’t go all weird on me.

Years ago (2006?) I was given the WORD: Quantum Physics. I tried to learn about it then, but I had just barely begun drinking Milk. So, let’s get real right now.

God is Creator. If He created the Universe and Galaxies then isn’t it possible/probable that HE USED Quantum Physics to do it? After all, He knit you and I together in our mother’s womb and as mentioned before His Ways are higher than ours…besides, HE IS GOD.

When you get down to it – what is the difference between knitting the galaxies together by means of quantum physics or knitting us in our mother’s womb? Sounds a whole lot like the Book of Ecclesiastes to me!

Here’s the definition of quan·tum phys·ics

[quantum physics]

NOUN
  1. the branch of physics concerned with quantum theory.
    “quantum physics allows for particles to be in two states at the same time

One last reality check about how GOD’S Quantum Physics fits into the Bible. I was just given Ephesians 2:6 and Ephesians 1:20 as confirmation. (Pray over the highlighted purple text above as it relates to the verses given from Ephesians)


In closing:

Brothers and Sisters, I saw The Banquet Table and a portion of The Great Hall recently in a dream.

Notice I didn’t say the Wedding Feast.

I saw people gathered around a LONG table – it was SET and ready but we were there for a “meeting” soon to commence.

What we are here for, isn’t far off. The moment MANY of us have longed for is JUST AHEAD. I don’t know what just ahead means – so just stay in the Spirit and really WALK with HIM.

I don’t think IT will happen the way everyone hopes it will or wants it to – but seeing what I was shown is something I never imagined I would even get to dream about!

Very soon, those He has called will be “Pulled into” something very real (surreal) – so Make Haste – and make yourselves ready.

 

This Blog and Blog Post are covered by The Blood Of Christ

 

Prophesy!

Read Hosea 2

1 Corinthians 14:5


“Noah”

“Do you not realize, Daughter, that by Noah merely building the Ark – his actions were in effect prophesying to his people about their demise?

Do not fear The Words I ask you to speak. There may be some who do not agree or like hearing them but what you say, are not your words – but WORDS from The Father.

Israel WILL acknowledge her Messiah

The U.S. will bow down under my Judgement.

Prophesy, Daughter!

YOU were elected by MY WILL. But not as a Cyrus. Yes, your people asked for a “king.” They demanded prosperity. But in the middle of their cries they neglected to examine their own hearts. Their hearts were corrupted by greed. By idols. And above all, false worship.

Many still see you as a Cyrus, and you will be used to accomplish MY WILL. But since your election you have failed to submit to me and to lead The People of this land into a state of repentance.

Merely “attending church” on a Sunday morning does not “qualify nor quantify” as redeemed or restored. Just as when Abel’s blood was shed – the blood of “unwanted” babies cries out and the sound is deafening. Maybe if you could hear what we, The Father, The Ruach and The Son do, you would understand???

Injustice runs much further and deeper though than almost any can imagine and most have enough reminders each time they turn on their nightly “news.”

Suffice it to say – to paraphrase Ruth Bell Graham “If God doesn’t Judge America – he will owe Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.” True, words – from Daughter, Ruth….based on Ezekiel 16:49-50.

My Children – those who know my voice know that Israel and especially Jerusalem is a prophetic marker in Biblical time. Right now, she is at “boiling point.” It is high time my chosen people learn who Messiah is.”

Yesterday, I really had to talk to Jesus about the meaning of the Scripture in Psalms 122:6 “Pray for the Peace of Jerusalem.”

As we talked, I understood this Scripture is actually a Prophetic prayer intended for a specific time on God’s calendar. It has been the The Will of God to prepare his Jewish family for the Days to come (Revelation)…Thus, even though there has been on-going strife since 1948 this specific verse of prayer will have new meaning.

“It is now time to finish Prophesying, Daughter”

“Yes, Lord”

“Daughter, Prophesy My WORDS…

To The Nation of Israel: You have been my chosen people since the beginning. I have loved you as I loved my own Son – But you did not love My Son. You not only rejected Him – but have since then turned your back even unto His sacrificial gift of life.

I have weighed your sins – observed your handling of my temple and have watched my son cry tears for too long over that which you treat with contempt.

You acknowledge The Sovereign God as your Creator but have been blinded to the reality of who my Yahushua is and what He has done out of My great love for you. Therefore, I shall now invoke verse 122:6 of Psalms.

The People shall now be taught my commandments and my laws – that they may live. My Laws are as the Apple of Thine Eye (Proverbs 7:2) and ALL will recognize that my plan was fulfilled a very long time ago. You shall see Jerusalem invaded and will finally understand the true implications, applications and meaning of Psalm 122. Soon – very soon – every mouth WILL be praying for Jerusalem’s Peace and when the HamaShiach’s name is Blessed – EVERY knee WILL finally BOW!

To Israel’s Sister & Ally

The mirror of your existence will suffer the same fate as that of my beloved land. You call yourself a Christian Nation but your pagan practices do not reflect what My Son – Your Savior was born into the earth for.

I gave you “the king” you asked for, but he and his counselors have been led astray – and led your countrymen down the wide path. The “reprieve” was a mythical lie – that most ate up like cotton candy. Do you now see how that cotton candy was as a “mist of vapor”?

You do not know and have not seen the full picture – but you shall. Your fate shall be as that of Israel’s and Jerusalem as well. Your idols shall not be able to help you and you shall watch your leaders crumble – you have already begun to witness this. That was just the beginning….

Prepare your hearts and minds for what is ahead. Submerge yourself in my word according to Psalm 139:23-24 and seek Jesus (Yahushua’s) protection (Psalm 91/Psalm 23).

My promises in scripture will be your only life vest: use them.

Guard your hear and your mind: Judgement Commences –

In The Name of Jesus The Christ,

and The Ruach Ha Kodesh –

I AM The I AM”

Isaiah 26

Isaiah 27

Isaiah 28
(As with all Words, please seek The Spirit for confirmation)

“Thunder” of Sleeping Giants

Eagle Nebula from ESO.jpg

The Eagle Nebula contains The Pillar of Creation (Rev 12, 11, 10)

 

“Post this message on this blog site…it needs to be heard by all – Yahshua”

A couple of years ago (March 29, ’16) I was nudged by The Spirit to write a blogpost that many have since read: “A San Andreas Message.”

In my carnal mind, I was just thinking a few weeks back how much in error that piece must have been because nothing has happened; No massive life altering earthquakes or cataclysmic events.

It had me feeling like I didn’t want to come back here to “pen” anything, again. I mean really….how many people out there are making statements or predictions that don’t come true? I don’t want that to be me – even though the idea of cataclysmic events (as foretold in Scripture) isn’t pleasant to think about either!

But something shifted in the week leading up to Spring Break. We were headed for yet another road trip out to California and this time I didn’t feel resistant about it…for some reason I almost felt a sense of excitement. We left predawn Saturday and arrived at 11:55pm Saturday. I felt compelled to get there and I opted to take the night portion of the drive. I knew that I knew I was a supposed to attend church with “Grandpa” the next morning. Suffice it to say, I attended. Enough said.

By Monday, we headed out to Buena Park. This was the 1st of our two round trips across The San Andreas. The first trip didn’t even phase me. And after having written the first San Andreas message, it was weird to feel no fear (Spiritually) in traversing it.

The second time (3/21), however is where this blog post gets its “kick off.”

This time as we were driving through it I noticed that there were homes being developed upon it. As in a housing development…I kid you not. I was flabbergasted by the sight. I thought to myself in the Spirit: “Wow, that’s pretty bold.” That’s when I actually heard a one word reply in response, “Arrogance” – “They know know the risks and they do it in greed and pride.”

As I considered The Spirits response my thoughts were interrupted by further revelation and these words:

“Sleeping” followed by “Giant.”

Then a pause…and I continued to listen.

“Sleeping Giants”

“I’m listening, Lord”

“Sleeping Giants don’t sleep forever.” “This Fault – and all the faults will awaken.”

Then I understood (when I looked at the hills adjacent to Andreas) that The San Andreas and its sibling fault zones (not just The Ring of Fire but on the 7 continents of the world) the Earth Shaking & Waking would actually be THE LEAST of our troubles.

These Fault zones are associated with a judgement not directly mentioned among The Seals or Trumpets of Revelation…

The Holy Spirit brought this to my attention today. This confirmation is actually the answer to the intepretation of a dream I was given back in 2015.

 

So Buckle up.

I was reading a James Goll book I picked up from the Library (of all things titled “Hearing God”)…when about 1:30pm on 3/24 The Holy Spirit spoke…

“The coming false flag, intended to rock your world is an event of greater implications.

The real terror arrives in the wake of its aftermath with the arrival of Nephilim across the globe. The Giants will have been released from the chains of their hidden places. Terror and destruction shall chase after the unrepentant but everyone on earth will have to be vigilant. What man shall see is from the bowels of hell unleashing itself.” (Ez 7:3)

Do you want to know what the Seven Thunders of Revelation 10 said? “Release The Giants!” And each of the Seven Thunders represents a continent – with each facing Giants.

The dream I had about the Giants, back when, was frightening. They appeared as large as small office buildings. In the panoramic vision, I didn’t recognize what they were at the time because they were presented to me visually as if they were made of blocks of exposed rock/concrete (This symbolizes their being underground)…these are the offspring of darkness.

They were deadly. Their feet were as big as cars. They were hunting people and few forms of Firepower (had any effect at all) and those who used it would usually perish. There was only one line of defense: the Oil in one’s lamp allowing The Holy Spirit to lead your footsteps.

 

However, there are TWO Types of Giants that will be released…the 2nd type are the

 

Children of Light

These are the TWO WITNESSES (The Eagle Nebula)

and the Armies of the 144,000 (pairs of Twins)

(Revelation 7 & 14)

 

Do you recall how God’s WORD has told us that in the last days men’s hearts will fail them…well, this is why.

I ask that you pray over this and seek The Holy Spirit for yourself. Now, more than ever each of us needs to place ourselves through examination (Ps 139:23-24). I pray that all who read this are counted worthy to escape what’s ahead.

May God Bless and give you His Peace

Genesis 6

Numbers 13:33

Deuteronomy 2:10-11

Deuteronomy 3:11

Isaiah 66 (emphasis on 66:6)

Ezekiel 7

Ezekiel 3 (emphasis on 16-21)

Zechariah 13:7-9

Revelation 11, 10, 7, 14

 

Ready?: You are about to be enlisted

Not so very long ago, I thought I would write a Memoir.

 

Then Joy mentioned that it was not to be and as I listened to her words through tears, I was confused. I now understand why her words were truth.

 

A memoir is something that is written to Chronicle your life – written through your own worldly eyes. A Testimony is entirely different. It is a story that is told from the perspective of The Holy Spirit.

 

The moments are becoming more frequent where I cannot wait to put pen to paper and resume the work He has given me, guess that should be no surprise. When we delight ourselves in Him, he gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4)

 

However, I do not know how long I will continue that work because I recently had a vision of a wall-style clock and its hands were spinning so fast they were almost out of control.

 

While we need to be aware that things are going to happen that will leave us in shock, in awe; sad and grieved, that they are happening – they were foretold. They are more than the beginning of birth pains. They are our sorrows and His.

 

In fact, I am reminded that I had written about this 4 months ago when I was given a vision about Darkness Descending.

 

As darkness continues to descend, something is going to happen. This is tied to the Event that is ahead. God has told us within His Word that His Spirit resides within us. For those that have completely given themselves over to the Work of The Spirit, to God’s plan for The Earth, this event is tied to you.

 

You need to recognize what is happening and what is at stake. Recall Ephesians 6:10-18, that we fight not against flesh and blood but against that which is unseen. That is exactly what this is about. Consider this video snippet. Tris is sent into an induced simulation. But even in this simulation, she is dealing with a reality…an alternate reality:

 

“Chose”

 

Tris doesn’t make the choice in the simulation and EVEN THAT affects her result. If it didn’t matter that this was JUST in her MIND, consider how much more important IT IS FOR US.

 

Jesus tells us specifically that the battle starts in the mind.  Have you ever read the end Zechariah 14? You might want to…I won’t say more than that right now.

 

Instead, I’ll spell it out…the enemy has an army, but so does God. If you haven’t noticed there are a lot of voices out there saying the moment of decision isn’t just ahead; it’s here, it’s now.

 

What that means is, your decision doesn’t get to wait until your facing Yahushua at the Judgement seat of Christ. The decision rests on you, in this moment – now. It rested on the hearts and minds of the 59 souls who lost their lives in Las Vegas. And WE ALL pray they were right with God.

 

I’ll add this right now…Father, I lift up those souls to you NOW and ask you to give them the chance to say YES to you and acknowledge who YOU ARE.

 

Reading this on your laptop or device you might laugh at the idea about the concept of having to “chose,” but I don’t recommend it. Our enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy and he isn’t out to make promises he can keep.

 

God doesn’t want to see that happen, he doesn’t want anyone to perish. The enemy lives in the dark and he prowls the earth. (Job 1:7)

 

God does not just LIVE in the Light – HE IS THE LIGHT.

 

Thus, we approach the ultimate showdown and that is what you need to understand. If you have not read the Book of Revelation or the Book of Genesis, you should. Because Revelation wraps up what was begun in the Book of Genesis.

 

The Serpent tempted Eve. Have you ever figured out how Eve stumbled? I went back to Genesis and studied Eve because we have a lot to learn from her. the devil twisted his words intentionally to throw Eve off. She was unprepared for it…she ever so slightly misquoted The Father’s Words and that is how the enemy took the upper hand.

 

Well, the battles addressed in the gospels of the New Testament and especially in the Book of Revelation, is the conclusion of that epic saga.

 

Adam and Eve were innocent and naive. Ultimately, Eve is blamed for the fall of man (this is prophetic ladies, because ultimately a woman give birth to a man who reconciles ALL). Eve’s stumble doesn’t have to be repeated by us. She wouldn’t want us to “fall” into the same error she did.

 

I think Eve would want us to be Encouraged as we MOVE forward.

 

And as each of us IS being moved we need to remember that God knows where He needs us and will get us there.

 

MOVE! Keep Walkin’

 

Per Daniel (12:4) the books of prophecy were to be sealed until the time of The End. I believe The Holy Spirit is sharing with each of his beloved certain specifics regarding “The day and the hour.” Know that each of you who is committed to our Creator is going to be called forth and enlisted in God’s Army. And that is a GOOD thing. What I will share here, is that I’ve been shown Daniel 12:3 is actually referring to The 5 Wise Virgins.

Don’t be unprepared. Fight the good fight and ASK for your placement.

Know where you STAND and Remember that the darkness cannot exist where there is LIGHT.

Be ARMORED up (Eph 6:10-18) and ready because…

The Call is about to be made.

From “On Becoming” to: Help Them!

I know I slept some, last night, but it was restless sleep. On top of that…it was just past midnight when I had entered deep prayer and heard:

 

“Now hear this, the hour of my reckoning is come. NO longer will thirst parch your lips as my living water…”

 

So I pulled myself from sleepiness to write; and waited, but nothing more came.

 

I had interrupted the moment because He had not told me to write. I should have just continued listening.

 

I wake up this morning to hear of more disturbances going on throughout the U.S. and the world and I think “How much more, Father?” I begin to cry out to the Father in Spirit this morning and then the tears come and My Spirit feels an overwhelming/overpowering grief.

 

Finally, in the Spirit I hear, “Help Them!” and I see this scene flash across my mind’s eye.

 

Help Them!

 

What does that mean, Lord? What do you want me to do?

 

“I want you to ask me for you to step outside your comfort zone. Remember when you first started writing back in 2009/10? You hadn’t started blogging yet, but you started writing your fictional action adventure, and never completed it. I intentionally stalled you. The section of the story you wrote concluded with you finding the box your Mom had hidden in the back yard – the box that you never knew about. She had buried it prior to her death. The box may have been fictional in nature but the message has never changed. The box contained something: a key. It was a key to a message, but only you could open it.”

 

“Oh My God…My Lord”

Then I was given a flash of the box scene from the movie Insurgent. This is the only video I can find where Tris mentions the box and it is shown ever so briefly. The box is shown in the background at 2:15. Tris directly mentions the box around 2:45.

 

The Box

 

Then I recall that there is a scripture in The Bible where The Lord is talking to someone. I do a search for what I know he wants me to ask and he prompts me to look up the: “Send Me” scripture. It leads me to this:

 

Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.”

 

So, here I sit. Ready and waiting for a prompt. Then I realize, I have already been prompted…and He is waiting for my reply.

 

Whatever it means and wherever it leads, I submit:

Father: Help me step outside my comfort zone. Take me where you want me to go. “Here I am. Send Me.”

 

Post-Script:

I hadn’t intended to include any music with this post – but even as I had continued with my work The Spirit insisted I come back and update the message to include this:

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

Testimony: Through The Blur

Author’s Note: This is part of a Testimony of God’s Grace. Although these events occurred when I was a teenager (15-17 years old) the memories are nearly as fresh today as they were then. My style of writing has changed little…the difference is I have had time to practice writing on these blogs and have been directed to share these experiences for “Such a Time as This.”

 


 

I stared at the breakfast plate in front of me – picking at food I couldn’t focus on.

Tired and lacking sleep – my eyes were still heavy and puffy from tears. I didn’t want to be here. Almost anywhere, but here. Then again, I didn’t want to think about the next place we would be driving to.

“Kenzel,  you need to eat” Dad’s voice said from behind me. “Eat so you can take this”- handing me another pill. “Dad, I don’t need it. I’m all cried out. I”ll be fine.”

I looked up at him as he held the tranquilizer out for me. “Take it.”

“Dad, seriously, please.”

“Take it.”

I picked the horse size pill out of his hands and looked at it as he walked away.

Tears formed but at this moment they weren’t because I was sad over having to bury Mom. On top of everything, Dad wasn’t willing to believe I would be ok…that I didn’t need the influence of a drug.

I glanced over at my cousin Pam, a specialist as an RN/ER Nurse. She must have observed the situation and her eyes were still fixed on me.

I looked down in shame. She got up from her chair and walked over.

“You know you don’t need that.”

“I know, I told him. I don’t like how it makes me feel either. But he doesn’t believe me when I tell him I’ll be okay” and I took it. Downing the glass of water to wash away the nasty taste.

“He’s dealing with this the best way he knows how.”

I nodded, still finishing the water.

The tears started to flow, making it hard to see, until they started cascading down my cheeks.

The drive that day to the cemetery went in slow motion. I kept wishing (and hoping) that I could somehow take my hands and stop the car from pressing forward in motion. Each mile got us closer to an ending I was unprepared for.

The tranquilizer on an empty stomach was doing me no favors.

Finally parked in front of the Mortuary, I opened the door and stare at the ground. Stepping out, I look at the building behind our car and think to myself, “What are we doing here? This isn’t really happening…” Walking towards the door, I can feel my body moving but am not connecting that my feet are in motion.

Is the world spinning? I’m not sure I can feel my jello like legs.

Yes, I am breathing.

Someone opens the door I am staring at – I step in. I’m reminded of the sterile smell of the hospital, but I’m sensing an underlying presence. In a hospital, there is still hope. In a cemetery the only hope is your prayer for eternal salvation.

Wait…this is the same place we came the other day to select Mom’s casket. I wonder about turning back the hourglass.

My head slowly turns as my body follows my feet. I recognize no one. I see a chair in the corner and sit down. Maybe if I sit I will sink into the cushion and translate into a different time and space. Someplace where death is unknown. My opportunity to do so is limited…

Dad approaches me, then gestures with the prompt, “It’s time to go in” (go in where? I think to myself.)

I stand – or try to – and realize I’m under “full” sedation now.

“I don’t know if I can make it back there, Dad.” He and my Aunt stand on either side of me and provide their arms to keep me upright.

How ridiculous and embarrassing this is.

We arrive at and pause outside a room down the hall. Inside, there is a silver casket set up. As I recall, Mom asked for a plain wooden box – but the day we came to purchase it they said they didn’t stock that style. Oh – Nooo…Mom is in that silver casket! I stay on the far side of the room.

I watch as people walk in and one by one walk by – then glance. They touch her folded hands, say something quietly and move on. Some say a prayer and then their good-byes.

I am in a blur. I continue to try and edge closer to her casket but fear steps in and I back away. I finally notice my older brother in front of the casket and I go stand next to him. We exchange soft conversation. He leans over and kisses her forehead. Observing him do that makes me grimace…(for some reason I think of Judas kissing Jesus in Gethsemane. I have no idea why)

Even now, in real time I weep heavily as I recall this.

After he kisses her forehead I slowly reach out to touch her folded hands. The hands that held me tightly after waking from a bad dream. The hands that held my hair back when I had a stomach bug, the hands that made the hurt — hurt less — or not at all.

Her hands are like ice. I am horrified. They are hard, cold, devoid of all that makes God’s created body beautiful. Her ash-gray colored skin is unnatural.

This is not normal. I look at her and think silently “Wake Up.” Nothing, no response. In my mind I think, maybe if I say those words out loud, she will come out of this. I whisper “Wake Up – please?” Still nothing.

I cannot believe I am staring at her. I cannot believe she is not breathing. Living. Loving. Laughing. I do not comprehend how this is possible.

I step away and return to the casket a couple more times. It’s not long before staff enter the room and it’s evident that graveside services will proceed. I walk out before they close the lid.

This is sickening.

I do not recall the graveside ceremony. Apparently I took my camera with me that day (for whatever reason???) because I snapped a picture of the group standing in front of her grave. My Dad was front and center of her burial plot. I have not seen that photo in some time. I do not know if I want to see it.

I recall her Memorial service – she had pre-selected her favorite songs to be sung (Just as I Am, Amazing Grace among them) and I vaguely recall the repast (gathering after the funeral and church service)

The memorial service was rough because Mom raised me in church and I attended with her frequently, having started Sunday School there. To be there in her memory and not have her the physically present felt like a radical paradigm shift.

My (future) sister-in-law drove me home following it. Of all things, Home, was the last place I wanted to be. (It really, really hurts to say that right now, too.) I didn’t want to see all these people in the house, I didn’t want to reflect and talk about Mom, in the past-tense…

I wanted this day to be different, but I had no idea how to direct the GPS. So I did all I could do and asked: Please, God, stop this nightmare…

 


 

I’ve spent a few minutes wondering what kind of visual I could give you to emulate what I felt that week and the weeks and months to follow – even 33 plus years later.

I didn’t want to focus on an actual funeral related scene (like Steel Magnolias) because I need to convey something on a different scale that was more complex. More encompassing.

So, here it is:

Gravity Opening: Incoming Debris

I picked this one because the main characters have a brief warning about impending trouble (my Mom battled her illness for 10 months) and when the first of the unthinkable events happen it is so sudden that, well – just watch, you’ll see.

I also picked Gravity because of the reality that we exist on a planet created by Yahuveh Ahava and this earth is under gravitational force. Out in space all the rules are changed and Ryan and Matt face incredible obstacles and choices in an environment not suited to their nature. The day Mom died…I too discovered all the rules changed and I was thrust into the unknown. Those of you who have lost someone know exactly what I’m talking about.

Related Scriptures:

Part of my healing journey in this Testimony Series is to let Him guide me into His Word (and you as well) scriptures that uncover His Truth amidst the pain, suffering so that I  (we) emerge in victory: healed, stronger and healthier. Please seek Him and ask for greater understanding. His Victory – is Ours. By His Stripes, we are healed.

Mark 7:20-23

Mark 8:22-26

Luke 5:4

Luke 6:21

Luke 9:60

Love vs Chaos: Land of Confusion

 

I recall I started watching this video sometime in the last year, but didn’t get to finish it.

 

Today, I finished it and was then given a message to share

 

What is the meaning of Life?

I was crying before the video was over because before the gentleman finished his testimony I heard, in The Spirit, “Love is the Meaning” only moments before his words were verbalized.

 

“Unprecedented times, the unknown before you. How much time do you need to believe?

Too many among you already go through the days with hardened hearts. Are you among those who put your focus on what you can see, on your social media “shares” and on what you can accumulate and moments later, replace?

Your beating heart means something to ME. Love is the answer but wrong choices are being made. What you see happening before you is but a silhouette of what is to come. Too many believe that time is infinite – when in fact – it is finite.

THIS LIFE IS FINITE –

MY LIFE – ETERNITY is INFINITE

You believe in that which you create but not in the ONE who created. (Genesis 1:1-27)

Time will not stand still because I AM time.

The fragment of time you have been given is your opportunity to exercise that gift – Do you USE that gift or squander it?

Has My Son not told you that the Greatest of these is Love?

That Love He has spoken of is THE meaning behind all the mysteries you long to understand!

For those with ears to hear, hear this now:

if you wish you understand

what this life – your life – is ABOUT?

ASK

How you live your life is your gift to me but my ULTIMATE gift to you – beyond your beating heart – beyond eternity in Heaven –

is you WALKING into the fullness of your

DESTINY: Here/Now on Earth.

Each of you has one; a Destiny. But few of you ever to bother asking me if your goals and motivations are truly an “unction” of my calling to you or simply the temptations of the world calling upon your conscious, carnal, thinking mind.

By now, you should realize nothing is as it seems. Time, things and events will only escalate. If you read MY WORD, this you know and already understand. If you have not read my WORD – start now…

The Land of Confusion is before you and on the path ahead. What will you do with what you know? Trust only ME. If you do not know your Destiny – ASK ME.”

The title of this song, “Land of Confusion,” is what I understood I was to share with this message. Many of you know it’s a song from the group Genesis (1986). I am posting the lyrics along with it because the video is just too complicated (and really creepy) and does not include them.

Land of Confusion – Genesis

Lyrics – Land of Confusion

Matthew 7:7-12

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain

 

Tell Them

It was seemingly normal until that moment.

7:53 am CST 5/9/2017

Father, I do not know the significance of that moment, but you do. In one millisecond moment I felt a weight of sheer terror that left me asking multitudes of questions.

I felt ready to burst into tears. I prayed. I lifted everyone up in Prayer…

Five minutes later the words “Tell Them” were uttered in The Spirit.

Tell them? Tell them what, Father?

8:14am

I find myself driving a slightly different route than usual. I am driving Southbound and am approaching a “school zone” ahead. The lights are flashing yellow indicating to slow down to the required 25 mph. While I am looking AT and observing the sign, the lights which have been flashing – instantly stop. The cars ahead of me would not have seen this. Though I could have increased my speed, I was unable to because the vehicles ahead had not seen this occur…in all the years I have been driving I have never seen a school “speed” sign either start or stop WHILE I was looking at it.

“Tell Them. Do you see why you must?

Children, any of you who are still willing to listen. Please hear Me and drink in My Words. Many of you have lost heart thinking that I AM not a God of My Word. It is for your benefit and that of your family, friends and business associates – anyone you have known over the years that things have seemed to not have changed. By changed meaning, My Son has not returned.

Have you realized that your sense of the, “clock of time,” and my timing are different? I work based on a Prophetic Time Scale. The earth has created a world clock…but am I of the world? My Prophetic timing is based on principles beyond the scope of human understanding. Trying to understand it, will leave you feeling frustrated and weary. That is not my goal for My Sheep. My Sheep, when they truly follow me know MY Voice, feel my Shalom and thirst for The Living Water that only My Son can provide.

The thirst I speak of is that which you must seek to fill up on each day…for each day you NEED to grow deeper into me.

This is about relationship:

Do you know ME as I know you?

 

Now is the time to lift up those whose souls you are concerned for. At a set point in the future, just as the school sign lights STOPPED, so too, will MY “caution” messages (or warnings) cease – because MY PLAN for the ages will have started – before your eyes.

In real life, if you were to ignore the activated school zone signage – the cost could be significant. The sign is there to protect you and others. When MY WARNINGS abruptly end…what will you do?

Do not fret about what you cannot control but heed the messages to cover yourselves and anyone you know (and even those you meet) with the mustard seed of faith. (Matthew 17:20)

In the days to come, your Hope & Faith will be worth more than money and for those distant from me – as difficult to find – as food. (1 Peter 1:7)

Remember this, I tarry not and I Love you always.”

 

As with all messages I ask that you SEEK The Father for His Wisdom, Clarity and Understanding.

God’s Blessings and Shalom be with all of you,

Kenzel