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Testimony Series: “Rise”

 

This was previously published on my sister blog as Innocence Abducted. Please be aware…the contents of this post is very delicate and deals with abuse and how the enemy works. I am to make you aware of this upfront for anyone who might wish to stop reading.

At this point in time…as each of us looks back on our lives – those who have committed themselves to walking the road with Christ probably realize by now that none of us has a Testimony without being “tested.”

You might be asking – Why would I want to share this story?

Well, it isn’t my first preference. But there are two things I can tell you: 1) God expects obedience and He directed me to share this here 2) Someone that reads this blog (or will read this blog) needs to read this, and 3) a friend and talented author and writer here on WP, Parker J Cole, once told me that the only way to defeat the darkness is to Shine The Light on it — Hmm, Shine The Light….

Interesting to note, that is exactly what we are told in the Gospel of John 1:5 (And the Light Shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not) which was how this blog got its title to begin with. From the get-go I was directed to speak forth His Words and in doing so He would provide encouragement and hope to others.

 

To top it off, The Father surprised me this morning and directed me to start writing the follow up story to this. That is something I have long avoided. My understanding is writing that story will provide healing – and not just for me but to several people awaiting deliverance.

 

Thank you LORD for your Shalom and May His Blessings surround each of you as you walk the road He has called you to.

 


 

 

Memories are amazing things, making up the essence of who we are.

40 plus years ago, I was a 6 year old minding my own business at a City Park near Tacoma. Four decades might seem like a very long time to recall a memory, but memories that burn emotional holes, that linger psychologically long enough to tear you apart –  need to be told, shared and learned from.

It’s only because of God’s Grace that I am here and it’s out of obedience that I write this. The following, while not explicit deals with HEAVY subject matter. The words I have been given to describe what happened will likely make some very uncomfortable.

Still, writing this is necessary, because somewhere out there, the girls who were suffering likely haven’t been able to let it go either. There are girls and boys today, somewhere going through this RIGHT now.

To ALL girls and boys reading this, to the women and men who have survived into adulthood – I write this for ALL of us. This is not the only story I have to share but the only story that The Father helped me write and is acceptable to post today. Those who have been victimized by sexual predators and JUST survived are only living the shadow of a life they were given…well it is now time to emerge from the shadows and become the Child of God: healed, loved and worthy that He designed, destined and created us for.

This is OUR day and time to RISE.

And now for the Testimony…

 


 

The Seattle – Tacoma area offers some of its best weather during the summer months. It’s the best time of the year to be outdoors.

My Dad regularly brought me with him to watch my brother play his tennis matches. I was just beginning to learn the sport and expected to tag along since Mom was managing the motel.

This particular day, the park we were at had public courts, grassy fields and a children’s playground.

It was generally fun to watch his competitions, I looked up to him and admired his on-court abilities. He possessed a gift and talent for the game. Even at age six, I hoped I could have a fraction of his on court skills; not to mention his success.

Although we had a swing-set at home, I got restless watching his match about half way through. As my eyes started to wander, the swings were calling my name. “Dad, could I go play over there?” and pointed their direction. “Ok, just don’t go anywhere else and make sure you stay within my eyesight.”

I loved swings and being on one made me feel like a bird flying through the air. I could have stayed on a swing all day, probably not unlike most Kindergartners.

Moments after I took my seat, I noticed a man off to the side, leaning against playground equipment, watching me. Of course, he was sizing me and the situation up.

As he gradually approached, he started talking to me. Truth be told, I really don’t remember this portion of the conversation. But, whatever he said, I eventually slowed my swing to a stop and walked across the playground toward the parking lot.

Understand that the swings were still in full view of the tennis court bleachers. I looked over and saw them (thinking I was still “fine”) – however, the parking lot was opposite the bleachers and partially obscured by the gates around the tennis courts.

The man opened the driver’s side door of his car, got in and closed it. I walked up to the door and because he’d rolled his window down was able to lean against it, with my arms across the window shaft.

As he calmly conversed, he went from just sitting in his seat and talking to me to having unbuttoned/unzipped his pants and sitting uncovered. He was holding something in his hands. I didn’t know what he was doing. He described the children (little girls) he had at home waiting for him to bring a new friend to play with. “House” was their favorite game. About this time, as I watched and listened to him, something came oozing out of his hand. Well, it came oozing and he caught it with the other. Then, he reached over for a tissue or cloth and cleaned it up. He kept talking and said he was certain his girls would love my company. His house wasn’t far away, either. He could take me over there now, if I wanted.

I paused, not really knowing what to say. I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to get any closer to the goo I had just seen him wipe off his fingers. Honestly, although vegetables looked gross, this was worse.

“Kenzel, time to go.” Dad’s voice called me from the sidewalk behind the man’s car. I looked over to see Dad walking toward me.

The man had just spent the last five minutes (or more) inviting me over to the house to “play with the girls.” While I am and have been grieved for years that this man needed a child to get his “adrenaline high” while my innocent mind was scorched the fact that I was mostly transfixed (in a trance) by his manipulation, likely saved my life. I also believe the Holy Spirit was there with me placing me in a sort of dazed trance to slow down his intentions and give my Dad a fighting chance to save me.

Having heard my Dad’s voice at that moment, I was able to honestly say, “No, thanks anyway, My Dad’s calling me. I need to go.” I promptly walked away.

Once we were in the car, I know my Dad asked me what I’d been up to and I’m sure the conversation in the car brought any talk of my brother’s tennis match to a screaming halt. My brother didn’t say much and there didn’t seem to be much conversation in the car.

Things got weird when we got home, though. Mom and Dad sequestered me in the family room and gently tried to pry all the details from me. It was one of the most awful talks we’d ever had. Although I had no reason to be scared, I was frightened beyond belief. Every minute I switched from sitting on my Mom’s lap to sitting on my Dad’s lap. I clearly still remember the photographic pictures in my mind from that day. From before the abduction attempt started to the hours after. The conversations also remain, though some of what was said remains “blurred.”

This bad dream is more than 40 years old. It started the moment that guy targeted me for abduction and molestation. 40 years later, the experience has not left me. But I am now about to heal from it…

There isn’t a moment that goes by that I don’t wonder about those “little girls” he spoke of. Were they real or a ploy? Had he molested (or raped) them daily? How long had they been captive? What sort of lies had he told them to manipulate his will?

After Mom and Dad talked with me, the last thing I remember was hearing my Dad describe what I had shared with him. He was on the phone, placing a police report. I felt bad and guilty.

I know that I was victimized by a man who needed help. Yes, I survived. I came home – physically.

Unfortunately, the price of this “short term” event left roots of damage. 40 years later, it’s time to confront it. I will no longer harbor this defilement, because I know I am not alone and because I HAVE Kingdom Authority.

I was not abducted physically, but because the enemy hates children he now had a toe-hold on my soul. I might not have been physically damaged but he abducted me psychologically. I’ve been paying for it ever since. And now I’m through.

So, here is my message to my “Abductor:”

You successfully infringed on the mind and psyche of an innocent child. I don’t know who you are. I don’t know if you’re dead or alive. But I have a message for you:

I forgive you.

You may not think you need to be forgiven, but I need to forgive you

So I can also forgive myself.

Your sin against me, your perversity has kept me in chains since that ill-fated day. But I won’t allow you to keep me locked up anymore. By forgiving you, I give you a chance to seek redemption and I AM cleansed by the Righteousness of Jesus (Yahushua Hamaschiach.)

I AM FREE

Freedom comes at a cost and Jesus already paid that price for me.

Yes, God, I need to heal.

Every child; Every Man and Woman who has been “touched” by the deeds of someone with perverse will and intent – needs to heal.

Please, God (Yahuveh Ahava) Help US Heal.

Thank you and I claim your healing for all that ask it of YOU — IN JESUS NAME, Amen.

 

“Rise”

 

“Fear Not for I AM with you” – Isaiah 41:10

“He heals the broken and binds up their wounds” Psalm 147:3

“I am making everything new! Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true” Revelation 21:5

 


 

I wrote the bulk of the above letter probably a couple of years ago. I remembered having written it but not having printed it. I just found the printed version in the last couple of days (September 2017).

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Ready?: You are about to be enlisted

Not so very long ago, I thought I would write a Memoir.

 

Then Joy mentioned that it was not to be and as I listened to her words through tears, I was confused. I now understand why her words were truth.

 

A memoir is something that is written to Chronicle your life – written through your own worldly eyes. A Testimony is entirely different. It is a story that is told from the perspective of The Holy Spirit.

 

The moments are becoming more frequent where I cannot wait to put pen to paper and resume the work He has given me, guess that should be no surprise. When we delight ourselves in Him, he gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4)

 

However, I do not know how long I will continue that work because I recently had a vision of a wall-style clock and its hands were spinning so fast they were almost out of control.

 

While we need to be aware that things are going to happen that will leave us in shock, in awe; sad and grieved, that they are happening – they were foretold. They are more than the beginning of birth pains. They are our sorrows and His.

 

In fact, I am reminded that I had written about this 4 months ago when I was given a vision about Darkness Descending.

 

As darkness continues to descend, something is going to happen. This is tied to the Event that is ahead. God has told us within His Word that His Spirit resides within us. For those that have completely given themselves over to the Work of The Spirit, to God’s plan for The Earth, this event is tied to you.

 

You need to recognize what is happening and what is at stake. Recall Ephesians 6:10-18, that we fight not against flesh and blood but against that which is unseen. That is exactly what this is about. Consider this video snippet. Tris is sent into an induced simulation. But even in this simulation, she is dealing with a reality…an alternate reality:

 

“Chose”

 

Tris doesn’t make the choice in the simulation and EVEN THAT affects her result. If it didn’t matter that this was JUST in her MIND, consider how much more important IT IS FOR US.

 

Jesus tells us specifically that the battle starts in the mind.  Have you ever read the end Zechariah 14? You might want to…I won’t say more than that right now.

 

Instead, I’ll spell it out…the enemy has an army, but so does God. If you haven’t noticed there are a lot of voices out there saying the moment of decision isn’t just ahead; it’s here, it’s now.

 

What that means is, your decision doesn’t get to wait until your facing Yahushua at the Judgement seat of Christ. The decision rests on you, in this moment – now. It rested on the hearts and minds of the 59 souls who lost their lives in Las Vegas. And WE ALL pray they were right with God.

 

I’ll add this right now…Father, I lift up those souls to you NOW and ask you to give them the chance to say YES to you and acknowledge who YOU ARE.

 

Reading this on your laptop or device you might laugh at the idea about the concept of having to “chose,” but I don’t recommend it. Our enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy and he isn’t out to make promises he can keep.

 

God doesn’t want to see that happen, he doesn’t want anyone to perish. The enemy lives in the dark and he prowls the earth. (Job 1:7)

 

God does not just LIVE in the Light – HE IS THE LIGHT.

 

Thus, we approach the ultimate showdown and that is what you need to understand. If you have not read the Book of Revelation or the Book of Genesis, you should. Because Revelation wraps up what was begun in the Book of Genesis.

 

The Serpent tempted Eve. Have you ever figured out how Eve stumbled? I went back to Genesis and studied Eve because we have a lot to learn from her. the devil twisted his words intentionally to throw Eve off. She was unprepared for it…she ever so slightly misquoted The Father’s Words and that is how the enemy took the upper hand.

 

Well, the battles addressed in the gospels of the New Testament and especially in the Book of Revelation, is the conclusion of that epic saga.

 

Adam and Eve were innocent and naive. Ultimately, Eve is blamed for the fall of man (this is prophetic ladies, because ultimately a woman give birth to a man who reconciles ALL). Eve’s stumble doesn’t have to be repeated by us. She wouldn’t want us to “fall” into the same error she did.

 

I think Eve would want us to be Encouraged as we MOVE forward.

 

And as each of us IS being moved we need to remember that God knows where He needs us and will get us there.

 

MOVE! Keep Walkin’

 

Per Daniel (12:4) the books of prophecy were to be sealed until the time of The End. I believe The Holy Spirit is sharing with each of his beloved certain specifics regarding “The day and the hour.” Know that each of you who is committed to our Creator is going to be called forth and enlisted in God’s Army. And that is a GOOD thing. What I will share here, is that I’ve been shown Daniel 12:3 is actually referring to The 5 Wise Virgins.

Don’t be unprepared. Fight the good fight and ASK for your placement.

Know where you STAND and Remember that the darkness cannot exist where there is LIGHT.

Be ARMORED up (Eph 6:10-18) and ready because…

The Call is about to be made.

From “On Becoming” to: Help Them!

I know I slept some, last night, but it was restless sleep. On top of that…it was just past midnight when I had entered deep prayer and heard:

 

“Now hear this, the hour of my reckoning is come. NO longer will thirst parch your lips as my living water…”

 

So I pulled myself from sleepiness to write; and waited, but nothing more came.

 

I had interrupted the moment because He had not told me to write. I should have just continued listening.

 

I wake up this morning to hear of more disturbances going on throughout the U.S. and the world and I think “How much more, Father?” I begin to cry out to the Father in Spirit this morning and then the tears come and My Spirit feels an overwhelming/overpowering grief.

 

Finally, in the Spirit I hear, “Help Them!” and I see this scene flash across my mind’s eye.

 

Help Them!

 

What does that mean, Lord? What do you want me to do?

 

“I want you to ask me for you to step outside your comfort zone. Remember when you first started writing back in 2009/10? You hadn’t started blogging yet, but you started writing your fictional action adventure, and never completed it. I intentionally stalled you. The section of the story you wrote concluded with you finding the box your Mom had hidden in the back yard – the box that you never knew about. She had buried it prior to her death. The box may have been fictional in nature but the message has never changed. The box contained something: a key. It was a key to a message, but only you could open it.”

 

“Oh My God…My Lord”

Then I was given a flash of the box scene from the movie Insurgent. This is the only video I can find where Tris mentions the box and it is shown ever so briefly. The box is shown in the background at 2:15. Tris directly mentions the box around 2:45.

 

The Box

 

Then I recall that there is a scripture in The Bible where The Lord is talking to someone. I do a search for what I know he wants me to ask and he prompts me to look up the: “Send Me” scripture. It leads me to this:

 

Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.”

 

So, here I sit. Ready and waiting for a prompt. Then I realize, I have already been prompted…and He is waiting for my reply.

 

Whatever it means and wherever it leads, I submit:

Father: Help me step outside my comfort zone. Take me where you want me to go. “Here I am. Send Me.”

 

Post-Script:

I hadn’t intended to include any music with this post – but even as I had continued with my work The Spirit insisted I come back and update the message to include this:

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

Testimony: Through The Blur

Author’s Note: This is part of a Testimony of God’s Grace. Although these events occurred when I was a teenager (15-17 years old) the memories are nearly as fresh today as they were then. My style of writing has changed little…the difference is I have had time to practice writing on these blogs and have been directed to share these experiences for “Such a Time as This.”

 


 

I stared at the breakfast plate in front of me – picking at food I couldn’t focus on.

Tired and lacking sleep – my eyes were still heavy and puffy from tears. I didn’t want to be here. Almost anywhere, but here. Then again, I didn’t want to think about the next place we would be driving to.

“Kenzel,  you need to eat” Dad’s voice said from behind me. “Eat so you can take this”- handing me another pill. “Dad, I don’t need it. I’m all cried out. I”ll be fine.”

I looked up at him as he held the tranquilizer out for me. “Take it.”

“Dad, seriously, please.”

“Take it.”

I picked the horse size pill out of his hands and looked at it as he walked away.

Tears formed but at this moment they weren’t because I was sad over having to bury Mom. On top of everything, Dad wasn’t willing to believe I would be ok…that I didn’t need the influence of a drug.

I glanced over at my cousin Pam, a specialist as an RN/ER Nurse. She must have observed the situation and her eyes were still fixed on me.

I looked down in shame. She got up from her chair and walked over.

“You know you don’t need that.”

“I know, I told him. I don’t like how it makes me feel either. But he doesn’t believe me when I tell him I’ll be okay” and I took it. Downing the glass of water to wash away the nasty taste.

“He’s dealing with this the best way he knows how.”

I nodded, still finishing the water.

The tears started to flow, making it hard to see, until they started cascading down my cheeks.

The drive that day to the cemetery went in slow motion. I kept wishing (and hoping) that I could somehow take my hands and stop the car from pressing forward in motion. Each mile got us closer to an ending I was unprepared for.

The tranquilizer on an empty stomach was doing me no favors.

Finally parked in front of the Mortuary, I opened the door and stare at the ground. Stepping out, I look at the building behind our car and think to myself, “What are we doing here? This isn’t really happening…” Walking towards the door, I can feel my body moving but am not connecting that my feet are in motion.

Is the world spinning? I’m not sure I can feel my jello like legs.

Yes, I am breathing.

Someone opens the door I am staring at – I step in. I’m reminded of the sterile smell of the hospital, but I’m sensing an underlying presence. In a hospital, there is still hope. In a cemetery the only hope is your prayer for eternal salvation.

Wait…this is the same place we came the other day to select Mom’s casket. I wonder about turning back the hourglass.

My head slowly turns as my body follows my feet. I recognize no one. I see a chair in the corner and sit down. Maybe if I sit I will sink into the cushion and translate into a different time and space. Someplace where death is unknown. My opportunity to do so is limited…

Dad approaches me, then gestures with the prompt, “It’s time to go in” (go in where? I think to myself.)

I stand – or try to – and realize I’m under “full” sedation now.

“I don’t know if I can make it back there, Dad.” He and my Aunt stand on either side of me and provide their arms to keep me upright.

How ridiculous and embarrassing this is.

We arrive at and pause outside a room down the hall. Inside, there is a silver casket set up. As I recall, Mom asked for a plain wooden box – but the day we came to purchase it they said they didn’t stock that style. Oh – Nooo…Mom is in that silver casket! I stay on the far side of the room.

I watch as people walk in and one by one walk by – then glance. They touch her folded hands, say something quietly and move on. Some say a prayer and then their good-byes.

I am in a blur. I continue to try and edge closer to her casket but fear steps in and I back away. I finally notice my older brother in front of the casket and I go stand next to him. We exchange soft conversation. He leans over and kisses her forehead. Observing him do that makes me grimace…(for some reason I think of Judas kissing Jesus in Gethsemane. I have no idea why)

Even now, in real time I weep heavily as I recall this.

After he kisses her forehead I slowly reach out to touch her folded hands. The hands that held me tightly after waking from a bad dream. The hands that held my hair back when I had a stomach bug, the hands that made the hurt — hurt less — or not at all.

Her hands are like ice. I am horrified. They are hard, cold, devoid of all that makes God’s created body beautiful. Her ash-gray colored skin is unnatural.

This is not normal. I look at her and think silently “Wake Up.” Nothing, no response. In my mind I think, maybe if I say those words out loud, she will come out of this. I whisper “Wake Up – please?” Still nothing.

I cannot believe I am staring at her. I cannot believe she is not breathing. Living. Loving. Laughing. I do not comprehend how this is possible.

I step away and return to the casket a couple more times. It’s not long before staff enter the room and it’s evident that graveside services will proceed. I walk out before they close the lid.

This is sickening.

I do not recall the graveside ceremony. Apparently I took my camera with me that day (for whatever reason???) because I snapped a picture of the group standing in front of her grave. My Dad was front and center of her burial plot. I have not seen that photo in some time. I do not know if I want to see it.

I recall her Memorial service – she had pre-selected her favorite songs to be sung (Just as I Am, Amazing Grace among them) and I vaguely recall the repast (gathering after the funeral and church service)

The memorial service was rough because Mom raised me in church and I attended with her frequently, having started Sunday School there. To be there in her memory and not have her the physically present felt like a radical paradigm shift.

My (future) sister-in-law drove me home following it. Of all things, Home, was the last place I wanted to be. (It really, really hurts to say that right now, too.) I didn’t want to see all these people in the house, I didn’t want to reflect and talk about Mom, in the past-tense…

I wanted this day to be different, but I had no idea how to direct the GPS. So I did all I could do and asked: Please, God, stop this nightmare…

 


 

I’ve spent a few minutes wondering what kind of visual I could give you to emulate what I felt that week and the weeks and months to follow – even 33 plus years later.

I didn’t want to focus on an actual funeral related scene (like Steel Magnolias) because I need to convey something on a different scale that was more complex. More encompassing.

So, here it is:

Gravity Opening: Incoming Debris

I picked this one because the main characters have a brief warning about impending trouble (my Mom battled her illness for 10 months) and when the first of the unthinkable events happen it is so sudden that, well – just watch, you’ll see.

I also picked Gravity because of the reality that we exist on a planet created by Yahuveh Ahava and this earth is under gravitational force. Out in space all the rules are changed and Ryan and Matt face incredible obstacles and choices in an environment not suited to their nature. The day Mom died…I too discovered all the rules changed and I was thrust into the unknown. Those of you who have lost someone know exactly what I’m talking about.

Related Scriptures:

Part of my healing journey in this Testimony Series is to let Him guide me into His Word (and you as well) scriptures that uncover His Truth amidst the pain, suffering so that I  (we) emerge in victory: healed, stronger and healthier. Please seek Him and ask for greater understanding. His Victory – is Ours. By His Stripes, we are healed.

Mark 7:20-23

Mark 8:22-26

Luke 5:4

Luke 6:21

Luke 9:60

Live To Tell

Please forgive me in advance – because this is rather lengthy.

Some of you may have noticed that about 10 days ago I wrote and initially published a blog post that I then made “Private.” Within hours of having written it, I changed it to a “Private setting.” Something about that post frightened and alarmed me. I just re-read it though and the theme of what I wrote then is very, very similar to what will be shared here.

Suffice it to say, what The Spirit wants, The Spirit gets…

I was just at Trader Joe’s this morning and while perusing the aisles a song came on whose melody I recognized (and I kid you not) it stopped me in my tracks.  I just stood there trying to listen to it as best I could. In that moment, I fought with myself about coming back here to write. It is the song I heard that prompts this message.

This has been a year unlike any other. I’m sure most of you might agree.

It began in the Spring – on a day otherwise known as the “Ides of March.”

I have thought that when I was told the purposes of this blog had been “fulfilled” back in July – that was it. I was finished here. I proceeded to start blogging on my other site. It’s more or less a place for me to post things that very few would ever read. There are 5 people who subscribe…He told me not to expect many people to find it. I started writing my Testimony there. It’s a place to share my life story (His testimony.)

What I didn’t bargain for was realizing how representative that blogsite is…it represents the “narrow road” and “starting over.” It represents my past – but everyone’s future: A blank slate brought about by “The Steamroller” or the subject of the dream you will read about.

On the other site, there are only 5 followers. I don’t feel as “exposed” when I have to start laying out my soul. As one virtual friend – Mikayla – once said “I love it when you get raw in your writing.” That insight was a mixed blessing to hear because while the writing she refers to is powerful that means God is using my writing as a therapeutic means to heal. It means The Holy Spirit is drawing out of me that which I cannot on my own. As such, it leaves me feeling extremely vulnerable. Uncomfortable. Not to mention, it requires I keep a box of tissues at the ready.

When I wrote my last blog testimony about the day I escaped abduction as a Pre-Schooler, the brief comment thread exchange with (reader) Tony took me by surprise. I went so far as to start appealing to God about His directive earlier this week to resume the work of that testimony…

“What you do not understand, daughter, is that your willingness to try is what I SEEK. I need to know that you will be obedient to me, that you will listen.” The bigger lesson came shortly after when I understood that the very lives we lead will eventually depend on our ability to listen and hear Him in the coming days….

 

Wilderness

 

I also thought I had only been in the wilderness since March of this year. As I have taken time to look back – really look back (my arms and hands are beginning to tremble as I write this) I now understand this trip in the Wilderness has actually been a long term experience that began in November of 1983.

When I was following Glynda Lomax more closely I recall her saying that the Wilderness isn’t a place anyone wants to be.

That’s true –  The Wilderness isn’t fun but analyzing the wilderness got me to thinking. The Wilderness is where The ACTION happens but it is also where your FAITH comes to life.

Men and Women who walk this earth today: you are all shaped by your experiences over time. You are not the person you were yesterday and if every day is a Hap-Hap-Happy day with only good in it, you have no opportunity to grow. Challenge and adversity is WHAT allows God to be able to stretch you. To build your faith…

This is what happened to

David facing Goliath, Daniel and The Lion’s; Shadrach Meshach and Abednego and the Furnace; Naomi and Ruth…Esther & The King (Such a Time as This,) and ALL the Bible legends from Genesis through Jesus in The Testament.

Having just finished reading the amazing John Maxwell “Giants” Series every person in the Bible (named and unnamed) matters! By the way,  when I mention “unnamed” that includes YOU, dear reader, …because The Bible is still unfolding!

(Pardon the rabbit trail…)

The day of my near abduction when I was (about) 6 forever changed the framework of how I looked at myself and especially at others. I may have been born into sin…but that brush with that man made me unclean.

The next turning point arrived the day of Mom’s funeral. It was the moment I made myself look at her in that casket. It was the first time as a naive and gullible 15 year old that I had to look death in the face.

That was the moment I stepped into the wilderness and that wilderness would last a while and would be followed by ever-increasing challenges (and the ever increasing, yet unseen, presence of God.)

I recall someone, some time ago telling me in passing what a “strong” person I was. That’s what the Wilderness does to you. But please know, that’s God’s design. He doesn’t do it to be mean. He does it out of love. How do we learn to survive if Immanuel doesn’t work WITH US to understand His Ways?

I mentioned in the last blog post “Purpose Achieved” that I would write here again if called to. Well, I haven’t been called to but that Madonna song really got to me. If it’s possible for a secular song to speak volumes, that one did today. And I really believe you need to hear and know this.

Until I watched this video and looked up the song’s history on line, I did not know “Live to Tell” was released March 26, 1986. It was written for the movie titled, “At Close Range.” Not so coincidentally, March 1986 is the same month and year my Dad died.

This is the song to listen to. Here is the music video:

 

Live to Tell

 

Here is what you need to know,  or what many of you have learned and are in the process of learning:

The Wilderness is a tough place to be. It isn’t fun and it’s anything but pleasant.

But, THE WILDERNESS is COMING. And God does want you ready for it! So LEAN into HIM!

There are many people who have just entered a Wilderness or maybe have been there for the last year or so. But…

There is a WILDERNESS coming that everyone will have to experience. The Wilderness is a direct result of the Steamroller.

I don’t know how I know this, but I do. I don’t know when it will be here but I continue to understand it is JUST AHEAD. This dream excerpt and interpretation will explain why:

 


 

This is from a post earlier this year. After months of prayer I’ve received a full interpretation as to the symbolism…and when it was given I got so nauseous (still am) and began to weep.

Dream – “Steamroller/Steamrolled”

(Originally titled Obstruct)

On Wednesday April 26, around 12:19pm, I was reading the Book of Mysteries and my Bible when I laid down to rest. This is kind of unusual for me mid-day.  But as I set the time for 40 minutes…

I laid down and closed my eyes…ready to just float.

Moments later, just as I started dozing, I saw it. It was a flash that lasted ever so briefly.

I was in a car, I do not know if I was in my car. I do not know if I was the driver. I was on a street I drive everyday. I know exactly where I was.

In front of me appeared a LARGER than life piece of road construction equipment (OR a better visual is equipment used by the Oil and Gas industry when they are working in the fields. I have seen pictures of these types of equipment and they are Gigantic/HUMONGOUS.)

The road I was on is two lanes either direction in addition to a turning lane (and, I am to note, that both in real life and in this dream, just ahead of where I was at is located the “overpass” of a road that runs East/West: 44/66)

This equipment was on my side of the road – taking up BOTH lanes. I was driving Northbound the equipment was heading Southbound. There was one other car ahead of me or in my vicinity, near me.  I have this recollection that the car was white and it was slightly ahead of and, to the side.

It appeared there was no way around this thing without swerving over into the Southbound lanes (or possibly the turning lane) or wait for God’s divine intervention to intercede and move this larger than life monstrosity. But this THING had no business being where it was. In hindsight too, while I was driving it almost felt like in THAT moment time had stopped and there was a “Pause” in the clock.

In the dream, the moment I realized this obstruction was right there – my body jolted me back, I felt this happen and the vision ended. But right before I completely awoke – the weirdest thing happened; I heard the word, “Sutra”

 


 

Here is the interpretation of what I saw:

The equipment in the middle of the road resembled field equipment for oil and gas but in reality it is a “Steamroller” and relates to the book of Isaiah. 

Specifically Isaiah 66. 

Most Specifically I was shown the scripture Isaiah 66:6. The commotion will be across the city, all cities. And God has always said that vengeance would be His.

(One note of interest: Isaiah 66:7 seems to point back to Revelation 12 and there was quite a bit of news this past week regarding the Revelation 12 sign on 9/23. I did not expect anything to happen on 9/23/17 because this occurrence was more of a “time marker.”)

As far as the word “Sutra” (see text in gray near end) is concerned the impact of this steamroller EVENT will be “thread-like” and have “far-reaching effects.”

Because on the flip side, that Steamroller also represents the level of idolatry that man has committed against God in his heart. (Isaiah 44: 9-11)

The last scripture I was guided to include tonight relates to the time mentioned above – 12:19

First, look at Rev 19:12..

Then I flipped over to Rev 12 and looked for Revelation 12:19. ..but there is no 12:19.

Revelation 12:18 is the conclusion of Chapter 12 and leads into Revelation 13: The Beast out of the Sea….

Incidentally, someone was driving that Steamroller…

 

Please take this in Prayer to The Holy Spirit. 

Confirming Scriptures:

Isaiah 66 (Is 66:6)

Isaiah 44:9-10

Related Scriptures:

Part of my healing journey in this Testimony is to let Him guide me into His Word (and you as well) scriptures that uncover His Truth amidst the pain, suffering and lies so that I emerge in victory: healed, stronger and healthier.

Luke 7: 24-25


These were my own, initial, attempts to figure out the dream

Now I have contemplated that word and what I heard. I looked up it’s definition. “Sutra” is Sanskrit for “thread.” Hmm

Today, I continued contemplating that word. “Why Sutra, why did I hear that word?” Then a couple seconds later (as I’m driving this morning) I start to think…hmm, “Sutra” sounds really close in pronunciation to “Suture.”

I am familiar with the word Suture in general, but I looked it up:

Suture, literally meaning “seam”, may refer to:

Original Scripture Verses that accompany this message:

I first understood to look up the Book of Isaiah

Isaiah 66

Isaiah 44

Then I proceeded to look up

1 Corinthians 12:19

Luke 12:19

Romans 12:19

 

Love vs Chaos: Land of Confusion

 

I recall I started watching this video sometime in the last year, but didn’t get to finish it.

 

Today, I finished it and was then given a message to share

 

What is the meaning of Life?

I was crying before the video was over because before the gentleman finished his testimony I heard, in The Spirit, “Love is the Meaning” only moments before his words were verbalized.

 

“Unprecedented times, the unknown before you. How much time do you need to believe?

Too many among you already go through the days with hardened hearts. Are you among those who put your focus on what you can see, on your social media “shares” and on what you can accumulate and moments later, replace?

Your beating heart means something to ME. Love is the answer but wrong choices are being made. What you see happening before you is but a silhouette of what is to come. Too many believe that time is infinite – when in fact – it is finite.

THIS LIFE IS FINITE –

MY LIFE – ETERNITY is INFINITE

You believe in that which you create but not in the ONE who created. (Genesis 1:1-27)

Time will not stand still because I AM time.

The fragment of time you have been given is your opportunity to exercise that gift – Do you USE that gift or squander it?

Has My Son not told you that the Greatest of these is Love?

That Love He has spoken of is THE meaning behind all the mysteries you long to understand!

For those with ears to hear, hear this now:

if you wish you understand

what this life – your life – is ABOUT?

ASK

How you live your life is your gift to me but my ULTIMATE gift to you – beyond your beating heart – beyond eternity in Heaven –

is you WALKING into the fullness of your

DESTINY: Here/Now on Earth.

Each of you has one; a Destiny. But few of you ever to bother asking me if your goals and motivations are truly an “unction” of my calling to you or simply the temptations of the world calling upon your conscious, carnal, thinking mind.

By now, you should realize nothing is as it seems. Time, things and events will only escalate. If you read MY WORD, this you know and already understand. If you have not read my WORD – start now…

The Land of Confusion is before you and on the path ahead. What will you do with what you know? Trust only ME. If you do not know your Destiny – ASK ME.”

The title of this song, “Land of Confusion,” is what I understood I was to share with this message. Many of you know it’s a song from the group Genesis (1986). I am posting the lyrics along with it because the video is just too complicated (and really creepy) and does not include them.

Land of Confusion – Genesis

Lyrics – Land of Confusion

Matthew 7:7-12

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain

 

Tell Them

It was seemingly normal until that moment.

7:53 am CST 5/9/2017

Father, I do not know the significance of that moment, but you do. In one millisecond moment I felt a weight of sheer terror that left me asking multitudes of questions.

I felt ready to burst into tears. I prayed. I lifted everyone up in Prayer…

Five minutes later the words “Tell Them” were uttered in The Spirit.

Tell them? Tell them what, Father?

8:14am

I find myself driving a slightly different route than usual. I am driving Southbound and am approaching a “school zone” ahead. The lights are flashing yellow indicating to slow down to the required 25 mph. While I am looking AT and observing the sign, the lights which have been flashing – instantly stop. The cars ahead of me would not have seen this. Though I could have increased my speed, I was unable to because the vehicles ahead had not seen this occur…in all the years I have been driving I have never seen a school “speed” sign either start or stop WHILE I was looking at it.

“Tell Them. Do you see why you must?

Children, any of you who are still willing to listen. Please hear Me and drink in My Words. Many of you have lost heart thinking that I AM not a God of My Word. It is for your benefit and that of your family, friends and business associates – anyone you have known over the years that things have seemed to not have changed. By changed meaning, My Son has not returned.

Have you realized that your sense of the, “clock of time,” and my timing are different? I work based on a Prophetic Time Scale. The earth has created a world clock…but am I of the world? My Prophetic timing is based on principles beyond the scope of human understanding. Trying to understand it, will leave you feeling frustrated and weary. That is not my goal for My Sheep. My Sheep, when they truly follow me know MY Voice, feel my Shalom and thirst for The Living Water that only My Son can provide.

The thirst I speak of is that which you must seek to fill up on each day…for each day you NEED to grow deeper into me.

This is about relationship:

Do you know ME as I know you?

 

Now is the time to lift up those whose souls you are concerned for. At a set point in the future, just as the school sign lights STOPPED, so too, will MY “caution” messages (or warnings) cease – because MY PLAN for the ages will have started – before your eyes.

In real life, if you were to ignore the activated school zone signage – the cost could be significant. The sign is there to protect you and others. When MY WARNINGS abruptly end…what will you do?

Do not fret about what you cannot control but heed the messages to cover yourselves and anyone you know (and even those you meet) with the mustard seed of faith. (Matthew 17:20)

In the days to come, your Hope & Faith will be worth more than money and for those distant from me – as difficult to find – as food. (1 Peter 1:7)

Remember this, I tarry not and I Love you always.”

 

As with all messages I ask that you SEEK The Father for His Wisdom, Clarity and Understanding.

God’s Blessings and Shalom be with all of you,

Kenzel

A Gift of Mystery

Here are two questions I will ask you to ponder:

  • Is it a Gift that you already possess but choose to ignore/overlook?

  • Is it a Gift that would lead you to unlock your destiny? Because surely as you live, it awaits you.

 


There has been a battle waging for at least a year…though in the rear-view, I can see it extends as far back as 3 years ago.

 

Way back when…when I was still on Facebook, I recall asking a friend, Parker, about her insights into the Gifts of the Spirit. She referred me to 1 Corinthians 12. I recall telling her I was familiar with this book and chapter, but I still lacked knowledge and understanding. I was hungry for more of both.

 

Going back even further in time, I recall hearing about what’s known in the “Church World” as Speaking in Tongues. I heard about “Tongues” when we were attending church in California and I had just become friends with Paul and Marla (whose videos I have shared here previously).

 

When I asked Paul about what Speaking in Tongues was, he told me it was a Gift of The Spirit. I’d asked if he’d ever seen it in action, and he responded, “Yes.”

 

I was fascinated by that response. I had never heard of Speaking in Tongues prior and he went on to explain (briefly) about The Gift of Interpretation. I recall my immediate reply was, “I’d love to watch that in action and witness it!”

 

Last Spring Break – March of 2016, we were on the road to California to visit family and friends. En-route, we discovered that the friends we had planned to visit, were very sick with the flu. God works in mysterious ways. I had been really excited to see these friends because I had made personalized/embroidered gifts for their children (I’d finally finished them and had brought them with us to deliver them personally.)

 

I had loaded this huge gift bag in the car and it never occurred to me that I might not be able to give these gifts to them myself.

 

As my friend informed me of the flu bug and change of plans, my mind went into hyper-drive and all of a sudden plans were taking shape that I really couldn’t have put together on my own. If you are familiar with the term “divine appointments” this is what was happening.

 

During that trip, we ended up having dinner with Paul and Marla (Marla had offered to deliver the bag of gifts for me).

 

At one point, post-meal, Paul looked at me and said (something to the effect): “I’m supposed to give you a book. He wants me to give you this book. You’re supposed to have it” The book Paul was referring to is titled: “The Walk of the Spirit, The Walk of Power” by Pastor Dave Roberson. I have read this book twice and I am now re-reading it more slowly a 3rd time…and this time I’m trying to refer to the scriptures he mentions, as much as possible. If you would prefer to read this as a free epub (ebook) file: click here

 

In the past 6-9 months I came very close to writing about this book and sharing it here. A number of things occurred that interfered with my thoughts and decisions about doing so. After writing yesterday about “Mixed Truths” I realized that distractions aside, I just needed to get this post on the Gift of Tongues written.

 

It was last year after I read it the first time that I told a group of fellow believers about it. Those whom I told about it personally were blown away by Pastor Dave’s revelations and this book’s messages. That doesn’t mean everyone will feel the same.

 

Ultimately, everything I was wanting to know about the how, why and dynamics of 1 Corinthians 12 was answered (and then some more.)  I never imagined how important this book might be to read. Yes, The Bible is our SOURCE but there are occasions to read books that God has anointed others to write.

 

“The Walk of the Spirit” is a fascinating picture, or further example (a study if you will by explanation) of the manifestation of the Day of Pentecost – when the Holy Spirit appeared as “flames or tongues of fire” (Acts 2:3) and entered the apostles. It explains beautifully why God’s Holy Spirit Language isn’t just for select people but He designed it for ALL people.

 

I’ve heard of a number of people comment that The New Testament is relevant, but not The Old. I disagree. You can’t throw out the baby with the bath water. We wouldn’t have the New Testament without the Old.  Jesus Life and Work were intertwined in the Words of the Old Testament as part of Old Testament Prophecy. Jesus (Yahushua) was born into the line of the family of David (Acts 2:25-35) and everyone and everything originates from Adam and Eve. If you ignore the Old Testament, in effect you are choosing to ignore half of Who God says He is – and that is not wise.

God is both loving and righteous and that’s why He gave us Jesus; Yahushua is both Savior and Judge. Which means He both sits on the Mercy Seat and holds the Judges gavel. Given that He, as The Lamb, is the only one worthy to open the scrolls, I’d say that makes Him worthy of our respect. (Rev. 5:4-5)

 

I am finally sharing this book because I AM expected too. Because there are people out there that need to read it.

 

Did you know the New Testament, the bigger portion of which I understand was written by the Apostle Paul WAS the result of Paul praying in Tongues (more than any of the other disciples)? (1 Corinthians 14:18)

 

It was Paul’s active practice of utilizing the Holy Spirit Language that God INTENDED us to use that gave him the GOSPELS for us to read.

 


It was about mid-morning today I started hearing the words and melody to the song below; So, I am including it with this message.

 

Mark Schultz – Back In His Arms

 

With regard to this message of this post, for further confirmation and to read the applicable bible verses for yourself, Please refer to the scriptures below. As always Pray and Seek Wisdom and Understanding.

(1 Corin 14: 2, 4, 14, 15  and 1 Corin 12:10)

May you be richly Blessed by The Father

and His Peace Be Yours,

Kenzel

Updated: A Warning Message to His Children – the church

“Do you hear ME?

Do you know I AM beside You?

I AM here. I have always been here, though you may not recognize ME.

Please turn to ME, now. Please call out to Me.

Seek ME and Find Me – The Door is STILL open.

————————————————————————————————————–

Do NOT go to church as a “routine”;

BE THE CHURCH as intended in Acts 2!”

Please see UPDATED message near the end…

 

I was reading “Richard’s Watch” blog this morning. After I finished, I was prompted – quite spontaneously to share The Father’s Words above with anyone with ears to hear. I am sharing the link to his blog because this post was prompted by reading Richard’s. I do not understand the significance and if there is any, I ask that you take it in prayer to the Holy Spirit.

As a blogger, I am just a vessel. But as His vessel, He has given me the Word “Lament” to share. I don’t like using that word – but this morning I started tearing up prior to writing this…

In looking up the meaning of the word Lament I referenced Merriam-Webster online:

Definition of lament

  1. intransitive verb
  2. :  to mourn aloud :  wail nightingales lament without ceasing — L. P. Smith

  3. transitive verb
  4. 1 :  to express sorrow, mourning, or regret for often demonstratively :  mourn … must regret the imprudence, lament the result … — Jane Austen

  5. 2 :  to regret strongly He lamented his decision not to go to college

 

Twice this week I heard the following words in my Spirit – “Get Ready.” The most recent these words were conveyed was yesterday.  I only know when something is mentioned more than once, we are to take note. I don’t know what this means, but yesterday my Heart, Mind and Spirit felt an overwhelming heaviness…like a sadness – but this feeling wasn’t for myself; it was for the world.

Whatever is ahead, know that God LOVES US – He LOVES His Creation. He LOVES You – with a Love that surpasses ALL understanding (Ephesians 3:19, Phil 4:7)

I pray God’s Peace, Wisdom and Protection (Psalm 91) over you and those you know and love, today.

This UPDATE is not easy for me to share:

I normally try to include a video link with each post I share. When I posted this morning – whatever song I thought I had heard in The Spirit, I could not recall either the lyrics or melody. In the last few minutes I heard the word, Foreigner – as it related to music. The song I was taken to is “Cold as Ice.” No pun intended, but the song lyrics are chilling to listen to if you consider God’s warning and admonition from Revelation 3:

Video Lyrics: Cold As Ice

1Revelation 3:16 (KJB)

“So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.”

Blessings,

Kenzel