Tag Archive | God’s voice

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Message from God? – http://wp.me/p71ZxZ-aU

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Crossing the Jordan: “Write”

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God definitely has a sense of humor. But, he also knows how to deal with us lovingly, directly and how to best get our attention.

I am really tired right now.

Two nights ago the Spirit awoke me at 1:30 am. I did not get to fall into deep sleep until 6am. Granted, I laid there and flip-flopped between reading my bible, praying and doing my best to focus on him. I also read through my WP reader blog and then went back to prayer. That sleepless night has made for a rough two days. I can’t seem to get caught up on rest. Which I usually try and focus on since I am working on healing my borderline Adrenal Fatigue & Hashimotos – but I digress. Sleep or the lack thereof is not the point.

Ten minutes ago, I was tinkering with what blog post I should write next. I started, deleted. Started and got frustrated..I was ready to run for the hills in search of chocolate.

While chocolate is a mainstay for many people, I am seriously trying to kick the sugar habit. Sugar is toxic to my gut/thyroid. I have done enough reading to know sugar nor chocolate are my friends.

So, as I paused at the keyboard and held my head in my hands I asked God “What can I eat that will help this craving? What will help curb this?

Five minutes later, after I dried my daughter’s hair and went to brush my own, I got my answer: “Write.”

The response was actually a double answer. Always remember to be careful what you ask for!

Last year, when I was still on facebook, I remember a ton of people saying what their “Word of the Year” was for 2015. I started asking the same question but never heard anything. (Note: I did ask once or twice about this in the days leading up to New Year’s.)

As I stood there and brushed, the Holy Spirit conveyed:

“You don’t need chocolate to satisfy a craving. Nothing from this world will satiate what your soul is needing. You have a story to tell, God’s Story. You see it as darkness, sin and shame. He sees you and all that happened. It was for a purpose. Let Him work through you to display His Glory. So that you too can see the same things He does.

You need to ‘Write,’ that is your Word for the year.

Chocolate won’t replace what it is that needs to be dealt with. You need to cross the Jordan. You need not fear. You have the power of Jesus within, you possess it. Let him be your compass. Keep your eyes fixated on the one who is leading you.”

It will be worth it.

Trust Me. Believe Me. Write. 

Joshua 3 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Israelites Cross the Jordan

Early the next morning Joshua and all the Israelites left Acacia Grove[a] and arrived at the banks of the Jordan River, where they camped before crossing. Three days later the Israelite officers went through the camp, giving these instructions to the people: “When you see the Levitical priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord your God, move out from your positions and follow them. Since you have never traveled this way before, they will guide you. Stay about half a mile[b] behind them, keeping a clear distance between you and the Ark. Make sure you don’t come any closer.”

Then Joshua told the people, “Purify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do great wonders among you.”

In the morning Joshua said to the priests, “Lift up the Ark of the Covenant and lead the people across the river.” And so they started out and went ahead of the people.

The Lord told Joshua, “Today I will begin to make you a great leader in the eyes of all the Israelites. They will know that I am with you, just as I was with Moses. Give this command to the priests who carry the Ark of the Covenant: ‘When you reach the banks of the Jordan River, take a few steps into the river and stop there.’”

So Joshua told the Israelites, “Come and listen to what the Lord your God says. 10 Today you will know that the living God is among you. He will surely drive out the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites, and Jebusites ahead of you. 11 Look, the Ark of the Covenant, which belongs to the Lord of the whole earth, will lead you across the Jordan River! 12 Now choose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe. 13 The priests will carry the Ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth. As soon as their feet touch the water, the flow of water will be cut off upstream, and the river will stand up like a wall.”

14 So the people left their camp to cross the Jordan, and the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Covenant went ahead of them. 15 It was the harvest season, and the Jordan was overflowing its banks. But as soon as the feet of the priests who were carrying the Ark touched the water at the river’s edge, 16 the water above that point began backing up a great distance away at a town called Adam, which is near Zarethan. And the water below that point flowed on to the Dead Sea[c] until the riverbed was dry. Then all the people crossed over near the town of Jericho.

17 Meanwhile, the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant stood on dry ground in the middle of the riverbed as the people passed by. They waited there until the whole nation of Israel had crossed the Jordan on dry ground.

 

Father,

I pray for the strength to carry out this directive, to remain obedient. Fill me with your wisdom and understanding…

The Lord’s Prayer: (Book of Matthew)

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is The Kingdom and The Power and The Glory, forever and ever.

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

Smelling Smoke: God’s Supernatural Warning

*Editors Note: If you are not familiar with Spiritual Warfare – it’s imperative you become familiar with it. Although there are times I forget this, that does not change the reality of the Spiritual battle we are ALL facing. The enemy is subtle in the tactics used against The Body of Christ and we are still in the middle of an invisible war…whether or not we’ve had our Spiritual eyes opened. (2 Kings 6:17)

If you have found this blog/post, know that it is NOT an accident.

smokeII

(Image Credit: wellcomecollection.org)


Proverbs 25:2 (KJV)

It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.

 


BEGINNING OF MESSAGE

Although this blog post was written more than 3.5 years ago – I have learned much about our God in the days since The Spirit compelled me to write it.

1 John 4:1 tells us to test The Spirit of any word we are given. While the meaning of the message behind “Smelling Smoke” remains unchanged – I am urged by The Spirit with a humble and contrite heart to return and update it.

I have heard people say that the only thing necessary to read and apply is the New Testament and that The Old Testament isn’t as important. In the time I have spent reading and studying The Word, I have discovered this is neither sage advice and at the very least implies ignorance in thought and at worst an Anti-Christ Spirit.

As far as I’m concerned, there would be no New Testament without The Old Testament. We would not have Yahshua had God not Created in Genesis one and two.

It would seem likely that anyone who negates the Old Testament does not have The Spirit of Prophecy. Upon further study, I realized that Prophecy in The Word actually begins in Genesis and the result is what culminates in The Book of Revelation.

The Holy Spirit has since re-directed my study to better understand the first five books of The Old Testament and they are pivotal to the rest of scripture.

5/5/19: I am prompted by The Spirit to mention – the numbers of people who are seeking answers via internet search engines as to WHY you might be “smelling smoke” has been increasing with a VERY significant uptick in the last 12-18 months. If you are smelling smoke – it seems you are NOT alone…or rather, WE are not alone. Thank you for seeking answers with me.


Smoke.

I am and have been smelling the scent of smoke for some time. It has been going on, sporadically, over the last three years, though I don’t recall exactly when that started. the intensity was enormous. My eyes might water and I would feel a scratchiness in my throat. Over the years, the intensity has eased. Oftentimes I now wonder if I am Smelling the Smoke again because someone might be reading this message! 🙂

When I initially inquired of other Christian bloggers about this “phenomenon” several suggested that I write a blog post about it because other’s were smelling it, too!

It’s just a guess on my part, but the average person would probably be tempted to say, “Hey…it’s just someone burning something outside or a neighbor’s fireplace or a wildfire somewhere.” I thought the same thing too, at first….

There were a couple things that made this phenomenon unusual to me. First, I only smelled it inside – when I did step outside to make sure something wasn’t on fire nearby…I smelled nothing.

The sky was clear and blue. The air was clean. I could breathe in deeply and not identify a “whisp” of it outside.

The weird part is, NO ONE ELSE around me smells it. I do not smoke. My clothes do not smell of smoke.

I finally did the only thing that made sense – I took this to God in prayer.

Me: Lord, for days now I’ve been smelling something like smoke. I don’t know why. I don’t smell it outdoors. Though it comes on softly, it magnifies so that it takes over my olfactory senses, makes my eyes burn and water and even an itchy sore throat with mild burning and a mild cough. I don’t feel sick though. What does this mean?”

He wasted no time with the Revelation.


Yahshua:

I am providing you with a supernatural indication of my grief and the destruction that is coming. What you are smelling is (by The Power of the Spirit) the impending smoke of destruction from the Seal Judgements as mentioned in Revelation 8:4-5. My Flock needs to understand that The Great I AM is not bound by time. I work outside of the Time-Space Continuum with which you are accustomed. (2 Peter 3:8)

My heart grieves for what has happened to man and to woman, with the increasing depravity of this sin-filled world. Though I made YOU in My Image…your world is now teetering on an uneven balance scale. The timetable for The End of The Age nears. DO NOT BE CAUGHT UNAWARES. Now is the time to stop the descent into further spiritual corruption for what you lack – by renewing YOUR MIND in MY WORD.

Rather than taking the time to Seek ME (YHWH) in the quiet and stillness – most of mankind still seeks their next “thrill”…through worldy pursuits; be it sports, movies/music, food, cars, drugs/alcohol and other lusts of the flesh.

Though I have continued to beckon, the people have chosen to continue in their ways as the prodigal son of Luke 15. I admonish you to begin seeking The Truth of The Logos as the Judgements are unsealed….

The smoke each of you is smelling serves as a DOUBLE WARNING:

First, it is a warning of MY promised destruction against those Nations, Tribes and Tongues that do not adhere to the Commandments of Exodus 20 and

SECOND – that those who are following MY Path (the narrow road) WILL themselves, lose their life to save it.

If you reject me, – you are (indirectly) rejecting the Holy Spirit (Ishshah). Rejection of the Spirit is regarded as Blasphemy and is considered unforgivable.

If you DO ACCEPT me, the Smoke you are smelling is the Presence of The Holy Spirit SEEKING to purify you. If you are willing, allow The Holy Spirit to CLEANSE you!

Submit yourself to my Ruach Hakodesh (Ishshah: Fire of Testing) and ask/pray to be counted worthy … (Luke 21:36)

I AM THE Living God. But you have an adversary who desires to cause your defeat.

If you are living and breathing right now, there is no gray area. You HAVE to decide between Living in Paradise or Hell. You ultimately make the decision about your eternal destiny.

What does that mean?

People do not believe that I Am who I say I Am. Who Do you say I AM?

People do not believe my Word is Truth. Do you believe what my Scriptures say? Are you ready to STAND based on the Promises I have told you about in my WORD?

Grace is about to be “tested” of her Faith in God’s Promises. Each of you reading this now – has either BEEN Tested, IS being tested or WILL BE tested. And this is because you are alive and walking this earth. You are officially in a Spiritual War. Even if you didn’t ask for it – and don’t WANT to be in it. By Default…you are here. But you are not alone and you NEED to know this – Jesus Christ is with YOU. Watch this next scene:

“Somebody is always going to be offended.” Yes, Jesus told us this would happen (Luke 17:1). This is because of the enmity of Genesis 3. And even though Jesus gained the Victory for us at Calvary – now we have to KNOW what Jesus said during his Ministry in response to those who walked in opposition to him.

It is by Jesus Words and Actions that we “walk the walk” and “talk the talk.”

Ask God to help YOU OPEN your Spiritual Eyes and see the world for what it is – for this discernment is vital.

You must understand that Darkness will use whatever measures (our weaknesses) as tactics to intimidate us and simultaneously twist the Truth of Scripture to fit the framework of The Strong delusion. But here is the GOOD news. The Light repels the darkness.

We now stand at the precipice of Time and Timelessness; having been told within The Word of God that as the hours move forward things will begin to happen in the earth (in divers places). (Matthew 24:7)

It is for this reason that we have been told that in order to endure what is ahead EACH of US must pick up our cross. We do this IN ORDER to be SAVED from the hour of tribulation. (Matthew 16:24-27)

 

PRE-TRIB / Mid-Trib / Post Trib

 

There is much speculation about a teaching among the worldy “churches” regarding the Pre-tribulation rapture. Most people rely on Matthew 24 in regards to this .

The arguments abound regarding “Pre-Trib,” “Post Trib” and “Mid-Trib.” I will admit that I read almost the whole series of Left Behind Books and saw the movies. A fellow Berean once told me not to hold too tightly to the doctrine of The Left Behind themes. What that meant is – instead of listening to Man’s interpretation of God’s Word…take the time to READ God’s Word for yourself and KNOW within your HEART and MIND Yahushua’s TRUTH.

The more I have studied the Greek and Hebrew of The Word of God, and begun to really READ The Old Testament – it is becoming more clear that The Lord’s Harpazo (what the world calls “rapture”) is referenced in The Book of Leviticus and is in direct relationship to His Temple – Tabernacle.

Today’s “modern” church will likely be Left Behind – or excluded – from His First Fruits Barley Harvest (The Lord’s Tithe) – or The Harpazo because of something called “Strange Fire”/strange gods. The majority are  already riding an ocean current toward “The great falling away…” (2 Thessalonians 2). That being said, I’m under the impression there will be more than one “harvest,” and possibly as many as three.

The most important thing I can do now is plead with you to pick up your Bible and get acquainted with The God of Creation- The God who CREATED YOU!

Time is not endless. And each of you living – here and now has a purpose.

If you are SMELLING SMOKE. The Lord – Our Father is trying to get your attention! The Smoke you are SMELLING (Psalm 68:2) is indicative of The PRESENCE of The HOLY SPIRIT – The Ruach HaKodesh calling to you in the Spirit to REPENT and BE SAVED.

The Smoke of The Lord’s Fire (his “Ishshah”) is identifiable throughout the 1st 5 books and was what guided the Israelites on their journey from Egypt to The Promised Land.

This Smoke you are Smelling is The Lord’s Spiritual Sign calling you to submit to him and (confess your sin) repent. If you do not know what sin(s) you are harboring – or holding onto – Ask The Father for Him to reveal it to you! (Psalm 139:23-24) Pray for him to examine your heart, mind, soul and Spirit….

The Father wants you to know if you are WILLING? Will you ACCEPT Him as Savior? Let him walk you through your HOUR of personal TESTING – TRIALS – TRIBULATION.

The Lord has a plan and purpose, though plans may seem to be delayed, they are not. (Matthew 25)

Just as Ecclesiastes declares that to every season there is a purpose; a SHAKING is forthcoming. The “Smoke” that you are smelling/sensing is my way of showing you IN THE SPIRIT just HOW real what’s to come really WILL BE. The fact that you are SMELLING smoke should confirm to YOU – that YOU MUST get your Spiritual House in order!

KNOW THIS:

EVERYTHING that happens on EARTH must first manifest in The SPIRIT (which is the “invisible” or beyond “the veil”)

Do not Doubt the existence of The Great I AM.

Do not think I do not see what is happening. I created the Earth and everything in it.

Be wise — WAKE UP — Repent.

Seek Me: NOW

I want each of you to know that You have a choice between eternity in HEAVEN & HELL.

How do you know if you will make it to HEAVEN?

HAVE YOU accepted ME?

Have YOU Repented?

The SMOKE you are SMELLING is your

WAKE UP CALL!

YOUR Eternity hangs in the balance. YOU make the ultimate decision.

Hell is real. Many of you are “of this world” and have chosen to postpone really thinking about what’s “beyond the veil” of THIS LIFE.

Whether you want to believe Hell exists or not, is up to you. But I do not want you to end up there. Hell is just as REAL as Heaven.

Choose carefully.

NOT choosing – is making a decision.

PUTTING off the decision to ACCEPT me IS also actually making a choice; because your days are numbered.

Seek ME = Heaven

Turn your back = Hell

I gave you the privilege of FREE WILL. Chose carefully, chose wisely. I want to share Eternity in Heaven with you.

————————————————————

The theme of this blog is to provide Encouragement & Inspiration for Everyday. I have shared this post because NOW is the time for each of us to take responsibility for our eternal destination.

The Lord has pressed upon me the URGENCY to get this out. This message falls under both categories of Encouragement & Inspiration because whether the “End of Days” happens next week, or decades from now The Lord has told us in His Word that it WILL happen. Study to Shew yourself approved! (2 Timothy 2:15)

BE Encouraged that God has not sent his judgement – yet. But BE INSPIRED to make use of the TIME that is LEFT to turn toward him and ACCEPT his GIFT of GRACE.

Eternity is a very long time. It is not a place you want to spend ANYWHERE but in Heaven. Think carefully about this…

If even one person gives God a chance from this blog, I will have accomplished His purpose.

If you have not been SAVED or have never ACCEPTED Jesus as your Savior: START with this PRAYER:

Heavenly Father:

I pray for your mercy on my soul.

I am a sinner and I need a Savior. I believe that Jesus is the Son of God. That he died on the cross and shed his blood for my sins. I believe Jesus rose from the grave by the power of the Holy Spirit and He sits at the right hand of God

Jesus, I ask that you come into my heart and wash all my sins away. I ask you to send the Holy Spirit to live in me and guide me. I will follow you the rest of my life.

Your Word says that ALL

who seek you will find you.

Help me, Lord. Save me, Change me, make me NEW.

I ask this in the name of my Lord and my Savior, Jesus. Amen.

Be sure to get to know God, a little everyday. Give him just 10 minutes of your time – and read the bible when you wake up. Make this your daily “first fruits.”

The following video is the Testimony of Bill Wiese: It runs about an hour. It is about his visit to hell.

 

23 Minutes in Hell

– May The Savior Bless All who visit this page and all associated posts.

Above all things: Clothe yourself with God’s Armor – Eph 6:10-18 – and learn about the Power of Jesus Blood.

May all of God’s Blessings and His protection be yours.

I look forward to Meeting each of you on the other side of the Veil!

Shalom…

 

This Blogpost as well as Blogsite are covered and protected by The Blood of Jesus Christ – Yahushua HamaSciach.

The Daily Battle: Be Clothed, Be Ready!

Are you ready for the battle before you?

We do not fight against flesh and blood.

We battle against a force more sinister and conniving.

If you think the biggest challenge you face is in front of you…

…facing you, tangible…think again.

What is invisible and unseen is just as real as anything you can touch or see.

Are you WEARING the clothes you really NEED?

The enemy would love for you to believe that what you see in this world is ALL there is.

Be prepared for what you can’t see.

Prepare your heart,

Prepare your mind

Ready your soul.

Clothing yourself EACH day with the

Armor of God: His Spiritual ARMOR

Ephesians 6:10-18 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Whole Armor of God

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we[a] are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.[b] 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.[c] 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.[d]

Praying this for yourself is POWERFUL

Praying this for another, is intercessory prayer.

God HEARS it ALL.

I am a major fan of the music video and song that I posted with this. I am also including the lyric video for it because I am a WORD lover and believe understanding the words of a song are as important as the melody that carries it.

Just Remember, we are told that God’s Still small voice is always there, ready to speak to us — if we will only BE STILL.

“Be Still” Lyric video from StorySide B

 

 

We are not alone.

Speak Truth.

God’s Truth.

If God is for us & who can be against us!

Have a Blessed Weekend,

Kenzel

Kendall’s Story: Part II – Resolving The Past

 

Twenty years later, she looked at the invitation in her hand.

Twenty years, already?

She put the invitation down and dismissed it.

She’d made a promise that she would go, that she wouldn’t miss it. Would her friends care if she skipped? Would they notice if she didn’t?

Did it matter?

 

“Geez, I don’t even know if I want to go!” Kendall thought aloud…I don’t want to make this decision.

Several months before hand, Kendall’s life had changed. She’d grown up as a “Christian” and fully  understood who Jesus was…a brush with death turned her life upside down/inside out.

That brush with death had led Kendall to cross over to a new life. Not physically, but certainly emotionally and spiritually.

She was what “secular society” called “Born Again.” The term never really made sense to her and hearing it in years gone by made her entirely uncomfortable.

But according to

John 3:  New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.[a]

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit[b] gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You[c] must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”[d]

 

Because Kendall was a New Believer, she didn’t understand how much power she had by having the Spirit of God actually living within her. But she was about to find out….

Here she was a 40 year old mother of 2, folding laundry.

20 Years?

She’d done her best to push those years out of her mind. But, 20 years slip by fast.

Folding laundry was always such a menial task (at best) and was now a mindless activity with the reunion invite announcement sitting squarely in the the back of her mind. Even if the invitation was buried in a pile somewhere – it might well have been glued to her face.

A reunion had seemed so far off back then…the reality of trying to decide if she wanted to attend it was almost all consuming.

Now what? She thought to herself…

“ASK ME.” came the inaudible voice – The Inner Nudge

Kendall paused, cocked her head wondering what to think but proceeded to say a prayer aloud:

 

God,

I don’t know what to do. This is just a High School reunion, a social event. I don’t really need to go even though I made a promise to myself (so long ago) that I would…tell me what to do.

Help guide me in the right direction. I don’t want to go unless it’s your WILL and for your purposes that I do. I’ll admit it, I’m scared. I can’t do this on my own.

-Amen

 

There were lots of reasons Kendall DID NOT want to go to her reunion, but the biggest was she wasn’t sure she wanted to see him.

 

She continued to work hard at putting the milestone event out of her mind; which was all but impossible.

Until the following week, when her mind had traveled off in time and space. Still looking for answers.

“Go, You will be there for the right reasons. Take my hand, I will lead you.”

 

Kendall knew it was God’s answer…without Him even having to preface it.

She booked her tickets and made her reservations. She only had a week to wait….

Flying into the Northwest was an odd sensation. But as the plane approached Portland International Airport, she couldn’t tell if she felt more sick, nervous or either one…maybe neither.

“I AM with you.”

Kendall had intentionally not attended her 10 year reunion.

She’d always felt like a “fish out of water” and showing up at this event was no exception. Her presence here, now, revolved around God’s plan. If God intended to stretch her comfort zone… in addition to making her uncomfortable, He was doing a bang-up job.

Suffice it to say, She recognized hardly anyone, at least at first. Kendall had normally been the kind of girl who could say hello to strangers, be a friendly face and help to the new kids and make them feel welcome. Now, her fellow alumni were slowly but surely making the rounds and stopping to say hello to her. Talk about surreal.

The night was half way over with dinner having long been served and Kendall hadn’t gone near it. She might regret that later, but her nerves (so far) suppressed her appetite.

As she mingled through the crowd and left the banquet hall for fresh air and change of scene; she considered the possibility she might not see Tim before the night was through. Staring out a window that overlooked downtown, she listened to various conversations as people meandered through the hallways. For most of her fellow classmates, this was just another social gathering. A mixer – a place to see and be seen….

She turned and walked away from the view of city lights and headed back into the banquet hall. 10 steps away from her and walking directly in her line of fire, was a brown-haired, blue-eyed man. His facial features having changed significantly; he was no longer the boy in her memory, he was a man. She hadn’t realized who he was until it was too late.

His eyes penetrated hers and shot straight to her soul. Making her want to laugh, cry and gasp all at once, just like 23 years prior. But this time, things were different. Covered in the power of Christ, Kendall squashed the same emotions that had kept her chained for all those years and as she slowed her pace, so did Tim.

“How the heck have you been, Tim. You look great.”

“I’ve been great Kendall, Thanks. You look great, too” and the conversation continued with the obvious niceties of acceptable “small talk” for about 5 minutes.

Yes, 5 minutes.

They had never been friends. They had barely been acquaintances. But the first time Tim spoke to her, he’d asked for her picture. And Kendall had never given it to him.

Effectively she’d never finished answering her portion of his question.

Kendall sat at the table after Tim had left and and took a deep breath. She would have never recognized Tim had they not passed, face-to-face in the hallway.

He was no longer teenage cute; he was now GQ Handsome. Kendall could barely remember a word of their speed-of-light conversation but it wasn’t the scope of the conversation that counted. It had been her ability to initiate it, look him square in the face and shed the image she had of HER-Self as a t0ngue-tied high school kid. She had faced her LOsT and unrealized High School love head on and emerged a woman through those smoldering teenage embers – which had burned out long ago.

Kendall had been swayed by the powers of Spiritual warfare. The enemy wanted her to BELIEVE that Tim had all the qualities that she likely wanted in a guy. She’d been stuck in the past haunted by a ghost of his youth. But as much as Tim MAY have been a gentleman as a man, young boys can (and do) make mistakes. She’d felt dumped if not unintentionally ignored after one brief exchange. It wasn’t Tim’s fault…it wasn’t hers. The enemy had taken an opportunity to seize her emotions and manipulate her heart. The enemy had lied to her and tried to make Tim the fall guy. It was her first realization of what Spiritual Warfare could look like – the enemy had taken the upper edge – until NOW.

Kendall’s mind catapulted in light speed mode from 1983 to 2006. She’d just set those shackles free that had bruised her body and heart for more than two decades. Only to realize that even back in her teenage years, God had been protecting her.

Too young to get married, Kendall might easily have been tempted to sacrifice the most precious human thing she had (her virginity) out of what she perceived as love, too soon.

She wouldn’t be able to fully embrace a man’s love until she’d found and uncovered God’s Love for her.  It’s hard to fully appreciate God’s design when we don’t fully understand God outside a relationship with HIM. What she needed to know now was what a Man’s love for his wife would look like, truly feel like, and mean to her.

 

 

It took her about a week to realize and recognize why God had told her to come on this trip. Kendall hadn’t had any issues to resolve with Tim. They hadn’t been friends, they’d barely been acquaintances. The reason for the trip was more personal than that. Kendall had trust issues with God. She didn’t know what to expect, how to act or how to follow HIM. But this had been the first step.

He’d faithfully allowed her to set her false or misplaced feelings for Tim free. He’d empowered her to find the words to get beyond her weaknesses and make her words her strength. Getting answers from Tim about why he didn’t try harder to make “them” work wasn’t HIS goal. Tim was simply God’s tool to help Kendall see what she couldn’t all along. She could be brave and courageous. And if she didn’t have the strength to do it solo, God wouldn’t abandon her.

God would LOVE her as much if not more as any man ever could.

 

Dear God:

Thank you for protecting me from myself. How often have I traveled roads I didn’t belong on but you re-directed me back – to YOU. People we know and meet will come and go from our lives. You’ve taught me that. YOU are the only thing that is steadfast. You helped me put the chains of Tim behind me. You helped me to see more clearly how TRUSTing YOU is the only way to live. The only WAY to be truly free.

Thank you for your patience, for your guiding hand. For loving me and not giving up on me.

I pray that for all those who read this, they will see that our hearts don’t always speak honestly to us and you are not only the TRUTH but you are the LIGHT on a very narrow path that’s far too easy to stray from.

Thank you for your guidance. Cover us with your peace and help us to seek your wisdom and find clarity we long for.

-Amen