Tag Archive | healing

The Decoy

A Message of Caution (Updated 3/26)

from The Father, The Son & Holy Spirit

“For so long they have asked, sought and contemplated.

The question, above all questions – who is the antichrist?

Yes, in my WORD I have told you that if you ask you shall receive. However, there is also another truth, when you beg to know an answer whose time has not yet come – if your heart has an incorrect motive sometimes you will receive an answer (sometimes more than once) that is correct but is not THE Most correct answer.

My Word says the lawless one will not be revealed until the restrainer is removed. The Father finds it disturbing that his children are more perplexed over the identity of the antichrist than fully understanding the RESTRAINER!”

A couple of years ago, I too, asked The Lord to show me the identity of the antichrist. It wasn’t long before he presented me with a vision – but as with all things it wasn’t what I expected. The image given was of Obama but he was not illuminated. He was shown to me as “carrying darkness” and “presenting a deception” – but the final surprise came last week when I heard the Holy Spirit utter the term “decoy” in regards to his position as AC.

The numbers of people claiming that he is the antichrist makes him seem like the obvious choice. Unfortunately, it is because he seems like the OBVIOUS choice that this is where things get “sticky.”

When has the devil ever operated in a way that is obvious? His goal is a snare…he did it to Eve – is it not possible he is attempting to do the same to God’s Elect? Don’t get “bent out of shape” over this blog post question, either, ’cause I’m just here writing as called to “MAKE MY PEOPLE THINK!”

The LORD now asks each of you this question:

“Do you recall why I told my disciples that I speak in Parables? In a matter of speaking it was to keep the leaders of religious law, ‘on their toes.’ They sought throughout my ministry every avenue to destroy the work The Father would have me do. They were jealous, conniving and full of pride. Has anything changed since I walked the earth?

What if Obama was indeed the antichrist and everyone knew? What good would that do? How does that help you? How does that help anyone?

Speculation breeds distrust. Have you noticed that?

Speculation breeds DIVISION – and ultimately

Speculation can also breed false revelation.

I had my Daughter previously ‘pen’ a blog post where I had her indicate that WHEN the antichrist was revealed – MY ELECT would instantly recognize him.

I NEED My Elect to Trust ME.

In case you have forgotten, I see all that occurs both on earth and in the Spirit realm. My brethren, try to worry LESS about the antichrist and refocus on The Promises of MY WORD. It is MY WORD that will be your weapon once He is revealed.

The enemy, Satan is having a FIELD DAY knowing how many of you have believed the visions you have been given that Obama is in fact the Son of Perdition. Because by believing in that premise before the moment has actually occurred you leave yourself vulnerable to further deception. Pray over yourself and ask me to help you invoke Psalm 139:23-24. Time is critical. Now is not the time to immerse yourself in debates such as this.

Yes, it is amazing to watch Prophecy unfold…but YOU ALL need to be ready for what actually happens when it does because it will be overwhelming for the mortal mind and conscience. I do not say that lightly.

LOOK To your Father, to I – your Savior and Messiah – and The Ruach. We will guide you into all Truth including the Truth (& the forthcoming identity) of the lawless one.

He is roaming the earth and preparing to reveal himself – so continue to pray for wisdom and understanding But especially for THE LOST.”

The Holy Spirit is in the middle of pouring out Revelation to the flock. If you really want to understand His Word – open up Scripture and it will be shown.

God The Father and The Son want to bless each of their children beyond measure. But part of that blessing involves healing of our Souls and renewing our Spirits.

Our Spirits are renewed by reading The Word but our Souls are healed through Jesus. Part of the reason why so many people are receiving the Obama as AC revelation is that they have not completed what The Spirit refers to as the “Wound Healing Process.” This doesn’t come from me – I’m just passing along what I’m given. But the term “Wound Healing Process” is something MANY need to go through and is part of the reason I was tasked with writing a Testimony.

 

Obama as a figurative AC represents a wounded soul and its associated emotions. It is both an AntiChrist Spirit but it is bigger than that- it is a Spirit intended to serve as a distraction (hence “decoy”) What better way to inhibit a person from healing emotionally from some type of past trauma or other “scar” than to place in their pathway a symbol representing the ultimate “religious coup” of God’s followers ahead of the real one showing up…

If you are so inclined, look up Peter Gabriel’s music video “Digging in the Dirt.” Be aware, that while the video isn’t offensive – to the True Believer the visuals are somewhat crude, but the MEANING behind the MESSAGE is what you would be looking for. Ask The Great Physician” where you need healing and ask that he help you to achieve it. That’s Jesus ultimate goal – to heal the sick, help them see, reveal his true self through YOU and set the captives FREE!

Amen

I pray that in the coming days you are showered by God’s Grace and Mercy, but above all by His Shalom.

Kenzel

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Spiritual Gifts: Video Series Part IV

 

Operating in the Gifts of the Spirit

Part IV – Faith

Forgive & Find Strength

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5-Q1zAhqpA

Last Summer I was sitting at my desk and I felt that nudge.

In this moment, I swiveled my chair around and slipped myself to the floor.

 

‘You must forgive him.”

I started to cry, “I don’t want to do this.”

“You must pray for this or we cannot move forward.”

 

I am writing this blog post today because I believe there are other Women out there who are caught in a sticky web of lies. They have been trapped by one or more traumatic events in their past, something that has lingered (in the deepest recesses of their mind and memories) for far too long.

Trust is something we all take for granted. We count on the fact that we can TRUST the people around us. When that doesn’t happen; when we have been lied to or betrayed, it affects us.

I trusted the adults around me when I was an adolescent. Unfortunately, that trust was broken. Over a span of years, things happened that caused relationship rifts, fear, and resentment.

What I didn’t know was that when the emotions of fear and resentment arise they WILL turn into a tool of DESTRUCTION. A tool the enemy easily manipulates into a weapon aimed at us, including family.

I have wanted to write a book for FAR TOO LONG. I wanted to write about what happened to me when I was a teen. The longing to write continued into my 20’s and 30’s.

I even gave myself a timeline and said that if I hadn’t written a book by a certain date/age, I was a failure. I SPOKE those words aloud.

Be cautious about the words you speak aloud…they really do have power. What I didn’t understand is that EVERYTHING happens in God’s perfect timing.

And sometimes that perfect timing involves God prompting us to do something we DON’T want to do.

That day last summer, as I spun around in my chair and stared at the floor and out the window. The Spirit was insisting I had to forgive “him.”

Yesterday, I was lead to read about “The Spirit of Alcoholism.” That was very much an eye-opener! The reason I mention this is because the “him” I refer to was a functional “alcoholic.”

God led me to this information. Information that further helped me understand the darkness that I faced in the alcoholics presence.

During that summer afternoon last year, I got on my knees and prayed for the one who caused so much pain. I prayed God would help me to forgive him. For what he had done to me. For what he had said to me. I prayed God would help him find peace.

I knew in that moment that while “he” had caused me great pain, he also was in great pain and needed help. I now understand that he was living in darkness. I needed to intercede on his behalf because no one else would. I needed to turn the other cheek and petition on his behalf that God would help him– to let God work on miracles for his own healing. Alcoholism affects not just the alcoholic but those AROUND them.

I have walked around for 2-3 decades harboring these feelings of betrayal, resentment and bitterness. For what reason? To get back at him!

How does harboring negative feelings inside my mind and body actually get back at him? It doesn’t….

Studies have been done that show that negative emotions that build up inside US actually cause us great harm. As in, when we allow the roots of anger, bitterness and resentment to “sow” within it actually backfires on us; on our bodies and our minds.

If God’s message to us is to be filled with HIS peace and love then where do anger, resentment and bitterness originate from? The enemy; the devil, Satan. The same one who is bent on the idea of coming AT us to steal, kill and destroy.

Back to last summer: Once I was on my knees forgiving him, what I didn’t realize was I was setting off a “chain” of events in the Spiritual Realm. I was actually opening the doors of grace and mercy upon our lives and releasing both of us from the devil’s schemes. By doing so, I gave God and the Holy Spirit the room to begin working on making me –on making us– whole again.

Forgiveness, from the standpoint of our CARNAL world is a very underrated and under appreciated characteristic. I believe that culturally it is viewed as a weakness. Forgiving means we have to put aside our pride and humble ourselves.

Few wish to forgive, fewer offer forgiveness. But it is the very act of Forgiveness that produces that most plentiful Harvest.

Forgiveness gives us Restoration.

Forgiveness Redeems Us — that is exactly WHY Jesus went to the cross. To be our example. To give us a model.

Forgiveness is a stepping stone process. And it is easy to let our human “stubbornness” get in the way. The enemy would like nothing more than for us to remain stubborn and unwilling to change.

I now know the only way to find PEACE is to embrace the POWER Forgiveness has. We have the Cross and because Jesus GAVE us the Power through the cross, we no longer have to be kept tethered to that which keeps us shackled.

And yes, I have more peace now. My memories are still there and I will continue to write them to release them. But their power over me has changed. The tears I cry as I write will now be to help me close the doors on yesterday.

 

Chris August – 7 x 70

 

That’s what Forgiveness does.

That’s why Forgiving is so important.

 

Blessings,

Kenzel

Converging Pathways

 

I heard the song, “Tell Your Heart to Beat Again,” on the morning drive. I had to work really hard to keep my eyes clear (from tears) and focused on the road.

This song is EXACTLY where I am. This is why I have to trust God to help me write. I can’t do it alone. As confusing as my story has been, it’s starting to make more sense.

I’m not alone in the struggles I’ve faced (though the enemy would like us – YOU and I – to THINK so.)

It’s time to step into the Light of Grace. I’ve followed God’s Light it for too long and not recognized I need to claim it; it’s time to GRAB onto the hand God is holding out for me AND hold it.

Each stanza in the lyrics of this song take me to a specific time and place in my past.

A place where God was guiding my hand and leading me toward the future- toward today.

Sometimes God walks us through situations that we will only understand in hindsight.

God is amazing. He has provided me with what seems like extraordinary experiences that allowed the healing process to begin. This is a process that has happened, without my actually knowing it.

That is Grace.

But the real power of God’s Mercy is my writing about it.

God used Jesus as his divine tool to fix a broken world… But, just like Jesus sweat tears (as of blood) in Gethsemane I too have been reluctant and fighting my purpose. Without putting in my own sweat equity, the results of my healing will be limited.

It is on this pathway that He will do something far beyond healing the scrapes and bruises that have shaped ME.

He wants to use these battle scars to help others to believe: He is the Great Healer, Physician and Counselor.

So, this is a small initial Thank you to all who have ever encouraged the “Writer” in me. As Mikayla said, (the day this blogging process started): God is into Restoration and Redemption. He IS Faithful.

Tell Your Heart to Beat Again – Danny Gokey

 

With God,

Everything is possible.

With God,

Everything Matters.

 

Blessings to All!

Memoir Excerpt: ICU

I looked on the floor and noticed a college ruled spiral notebook staring up at me. At the top I had written:

 

Matthew 11:28

March 1987 – Evening

 

I read through the “journal-style writing.”

I did not write this in 1987, I’d written this within the past 5-10 years. I’ve never felt led to share any part of what I have written towards the memoir on this blog, until now.

 

Matthew 11:28-30 New Living Translation (NLT)

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

 

Maybe by presenting a snippet of the story here, it will allow me to continue the journey and face the work ahead.

 

————————————-

Scene

I walked into the ICU, dazed and numb. I stood next to the bed, staring at my Dad. This seemingly strong, determined, “can-do” anything 59 year old man was laying in a hospital room. Attached to his sturdy, yet earthly frame were a myriad of tubes and life support systems.

Watching him breath in and out, and seeing the machines monitor his body made me cringe and tremble…

 

“Dad, don’t go. Stay here, please! I need you. You’re all I have left. I can’t lose you, too. We still have a few tennis games to play on the court. You’re my coach…I don’t want another. I’m not ready to give up yet. And I’ve barely gotten to know you. I need more time. It’s too soon.”

 

I prayed over him. I asked God to give me a miracle. To bring him back. I leaned against the gurney and watched him breathe. Looking at his chest move up and down. Waiting. Asking him to open his eyes. Touching his hand, asking him to squeeze it and tell me he could hear me.

I yearned to give him a hug. I leaned my head against his arm and cried.

_________________________________________

 

I don’t think I’ve cried about that moment since it happened back in 1986. It is just as real today as it was when it happened that night.

But God is good and that is why I am sharing this excerpt, here and now. This is my “free write” time as I get ready to dive in and allow God to do what He does best. Make something beautiful out of all these ashes.

Blessings,

Kenzel

 

 

 

Crossing the Jordan: “Write”

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God definitely has a sense of humor. But, he also knows how to deal with us lovingly, directly and how to best get our attention.

I am really tired right now.

Two nights ago the Spirit awoke me at 1:30 am. I did not get to fall into deep sleep until 6am. Granted, I laid there and flip-flopped between reading my bible, praying and doing my best to focus on him. I also read through my WP reader blog and then went back to prayer. That sleepless night has made for a rough two days. I can’t seem to get caught up on rest. Which I usually try and focus on since I am working on healing my borderline Adrenal Fatigue & Hashimotos – but I digress. Sleep or the lack thereof is not the point.

Ten minutes ago, I was tinkering with what blog post I should write next. I started, deleted. Started and got frustrated..I was ready to run for the hills in search of chocolate.

While chocolate is a mainstay for many people, I am seriously trying to kick the sugar habit. Sugar is toxic to my gut/thyroid. I have done enough reading to know sugar nor chocolate are my friends.

So, as I paused at the keyboard and held my head in my hands I asked God “What can I eat that will help this craving? What will help curb this?

Five minutes later, after I dried my daughter’s hair and went to brush my own, I got my answer: “Write.”

The response was actually a double answer. Always remember to be careful what you ask for!

Last year, when I was still on facebook, I remember a ton of people saying what their “Word of the Year” was for 2015. I started asking the same question but never heard anything. (Note: I did ask once or twice about this in the days leading up to New Year’s.)

As I stood there and brushed, the Holy Spirit conveyed:

“You don’t need chocolate to satisfy a craving. Nothing from this world will satiate what your soul is needing. You have a story to tell, God’s Story. You see it as darkness, sin and shame. He sees you and all that happened. It was for a purpose. Let Him work through you to display His Glory. So that you too can see the same things He does.

You need to ‘Write,’ that is your Word for the year.

Chocolate won’t replace what it is that needs to be dealt with. You need to cross the Jordan. You need not fear. You have the power of Jesus within, you possess it. Let him be your compass. Keep your eyes fixated on the one who is leading you.”

It will be worth it.

Trust Me. Believe Me. Write. 

Joshua 3 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Israelites Cross the Jordan

Early the next morning Joshua and all the Israelites left Acacia Grove[a] and arrived at the banks of the Jordan River, where they camped before crossing. Three days later the Israelite officers went through the camp, giving these instructions to the people: “When you see the Levitical priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord your God, move out from your positions and follow them. Since you have never traveled this way before, they will guide you. Stay about half a mile[b] behind them, keeping a clear distance between you and the Ark. Make sure you don’t come any closer.”

Then Joshua told the people, “Purify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do great wonders among you.”

In the morning Joshua said to the priests, “Lift up the Ark of the Covenant and lead the people across the river.” And so they started out and went ahead of the people.

The Lord told Joshua, “Today I will begin to make you a great leader in the eyes of all the Israelites. They will know that I am with you, just as I was with Moses. Give this command to the priests who carry the Ark of the Covenant: ‘When you reach the banks of the Jordan River, take a few steps into the river and stop there.’”

So Joshua told the Israelites, “Come and listen to what the Lord your God says. 10 Today you will know that the living God is among you. He will surely drive out the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites, and Jebusites ahead of you. 11 Look, the Ark of the Covenant, which belongs to the Lord of the whole earth, will lead you across the Jordan River! 12 Now choose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe. 13 The priests will carry the Ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth. As soon as their feet touch the water, the flow of water will be cut off upstream, and the river will stand up like a wall.”

14 So the people left their camp to cross the Jordan, and the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Covenant went ahead of them. 15 It was the harvest season, and the Jordan was overflowing its banks. But as soon as the feet of the priests who were carrying the Ark touched the water at the river’s edge, 16 the water above that point began backing up a great distance away at a town called Adam, which is near Zarethan. And the water below that point flowed on to the Dead Sea[c] until the riverbed was dry. Then all the people crossed over near the town of Jericho.

17 Meanwhile, the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant stood on dry ground in the middle of the riverbed as the people passed by. They waited there until the whole nation of Israel had crossed the Jordan on dry ground.

 

Father,

I pray for the strength to carry out this directive, to remain obedient. Fill me with your wisdom and understanding…

The Lord’s Prayer: (Book of Matthew)

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is The Kingdom and The Power and The Glory, forever and ever.

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

Writing for the Right Reasons

When was the last time you looked yourself square in the mirror and thought about the truth?

What if the truth is a double edge sword?

What if the truth would set you Free, but Fear holds you back?

It’s very easy in this fast paced, high technology world for the majority to lean towards finding the easiest path…whether or not it’s the right direction. With plentiful access to

Fast cars

Fast computers

Fast Food at the same place you find

Faster internet connections

Fast, Fast, Fast: the only words that seem to count anymore

Fast, Faster and Fastest…doesn’t always get the job done, thoroughly or the right way. Does anyone reading this recall the childhood tale “The Tortoise and the Hare?” But I digress….

A Conference & A Critique

A few years back when I was still participating in a local writers group, I decided to sign up to participate in a regional writer’s conference. I figured it would be good practice before going to a National Conference.

Part of our registration included having a sample of our work critiqued by a published author.

I spent weeks working on a manuscript I’d started. Weeks was all I had left. I think I might still have it buried under a pile of papers but I almost hope I never set eyes on it again.

When I sat down that day to receive my critique, it was nearly one of the worst days of my life. The first words out of my reviewers mouth were: “I don’t know where to start.” The second set were “I hated it. The character, the personalities, all of it.”

Though I hadn’t “tuned out” to their review after those two sentences, I believe I’d entered a state of shock. My head spun, I felt dizzy. I had no appetite even as I sat down to lunch after.

I remember mentioning to my fellow writer friends that my writing career was already over, and I hadn’t even made it to the starting gate yet. I remember all 3 (or 4) of the ladies begging me not to give up. Not to give in. That I could make it past this set back. And one bad review does not a writer make.

It’s been at least 3, but maybe 4 years since that happened. But what I’m realizing is that while I had attempted to write romance and adventure…I was barking up the wrong tree.

I’ve heard many times I should write Dystopian or Post Apocalyptic or some kind of fiction that deals with chaos. The reading public is gobbling that up right now.

Set-Apart

What I’ve ignored up to now are my own strengths. Thinking that I should write what will sell. Thinking I should write what people want to read. Problem is, if God made each of us unique and I try to mold my abilities around someone else’s success or around “what’s hot”– what does that say about me? What does that say about my unique, God given gifts. Worse, with all the life experiences He has provided – if I don’t write about those, who benefits?

We are surrounded by darkness. But God put his people here to help keep his light shining.

I was first introduced to “darkness” when I was about 6 years old, though I didn’t realize it at the time. The first time I vividly remember “darkness,” I was 15. Years later I tried to talk about it and write about it but unlike many topics today, the topics I was ready to discuss were hushed and taboo.

I bring writing up today because I am especially fond of reading books and movies. I’ve read a couple of Harry Potter (seen all the movies), read the Hunger Games trilogy (seen movies). I just finished reading Twilight (today, in fact)  and part of Breaking Dawn (seen all the movies), Divergent Series (seen movies).

Each of those characters was unique but something was missing for me. I don’t know what it was. I’m still figuring that out. Writing is a very difficult process. Each of us brings our own skill set. Each main character is unique and had to come from somewhere within the authors creative force…I’ve liked all the books I’ve read, in one way or another.

That being said, I don’t want to write just to fill a niche space. I want to write out of passion for my topic or from first hand experience. Lots of people are scared of the dark. Scared of the skeletons in their closet because it’s hard to recognize when you’re in the trenches that exposing Fears and cleaning out the closets actually creates light, freedom and peace.

God whispered to me not long ago that he would heal me, but only IF and When I was ready to let him work with me here on the blog.

So be it…Writing is a process. Finding peace is a process. Show me the way, Lord. And so the journey begins anew.

Thanks for listening,

-Kenzel

When God Speaks: You Listen

I have heard the soft whispers these past weeks.

They’ve been there. But I kinda, sorta dragged my feet.

There was no denying today, though, that God wanted me to listen to Him.

In no uncertain terms, I heard him say no less than 3 times – in rapid fire order.

“I want you off facebook.”

“I want you off facebook.”

“I want you off facebook.”

He spoke clearly. Directly, yet firmly. He did this because I’d asked him over the weekend to reaffirm the, as yet, unclear whispers.

Boy, did He!

I’ve done enough reading in scripture to know that when God says something once, it’s important.

If he says it twice, pay even closer attention BUT

When he says something 3 or more times it’s time to heed and prepare for action.

Why would he ask me to do this? I was surprised when He told me:

“I want you to get closer to me. I want your focus to be on my will for YOUR life. You sense the plans I have for you, Let me help you reach them. The resistance you feel is the enemy. You HAVE the Power. Wield it. Don’t fear it.”

I have called you by name,

You are MINE.

(emphasis mine) Isaiah 43:1

Facebook can be a tool but it’s now your distraction.

You don’t need it now, It won’t get you to the finish line.

I WILL.

You KNOW this.

You’ve known it.

I promised I would heal you. Let me get busy healing you. We have work to do!

We’ll use this time you set aside and discover what is TRULY possible. Your faith is growing, so let it expand and blossom!

Let’s start creating the masterpieces you’ve dreamed of.

Your miracles are within reach.”

Prayer:

I’m not giving up Lord.

You never gave up on me.

I am what I am because of you.

Help me find the mustard seed, buried deep down, to become what you intended.  In Jesus name…I pray, Amen.

-Blessings,

Kenzel

Timeliness

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My last post was 10 days ago. I feel really “blog parched.”

I was on assignment. I wrote. Tough writing.

I faced my worst fears from the past (at least some of them.)

I promise you, it wasn’t pretty.

That being said, Nanowrimo ended today. The goal was to write 50 thousand words in 30 days.

I fell short of 20k, by 3 words.

F-A-I-L-U-R-E

But then I went to Church today. And I learned about someone I’d never heard of. Mephiboseth.

And I cried.

I am Mephiboseth. Maybe you are, too? Maybe we all are!

The more I read the word, the more I identify with so many of these legendary people.

These people weren’t so different that you or me.

And here we can read about them.

Learn about them, study them and understand what we should be doing!

They had fears. They had joys. They loved and they mourned.

What they didn’t have, they didn’t necessarily need.

But what God wanted them to have, He gave them and gave them plenty!

KNOW This

God is Good. He is my provider. He is my ROCK.

I probably could feel crushed by not having completed the 50k word WORLDLY Nano goal.

But, I won’t. Because I know God’s not done yet.

He’s watched me grow the last 3 weeks. He’s dried tears. He’s typed words for me when I knew I couldn’t

Maybe His plan wasn’t for me to finish, because it’s not my time to be there yet.

I’ve come to realize we learn the most when we are still, and yet remain focused on Him.

His message to me over the last few weeks was that I needed to start healing; it’s imperative.

So, the lesson I learned this month is summed up well by this inspirational meme:

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I am on the road to becoming just who God wants me to be. That is the only strength I need.

Maybe His message to me, to us, is that even if change is scary it’s important. We don’t grow unless we do.

Sometimes we have to #Shake things up a bit to discover who we are!

May you be Blessed this week and feel God’s love surround you!

-Kenzel