Tag Archive | Love

Love vs Chaos: Land of Confusion


I recall I started watching this video sometime in the last year, but didn’t get to finish it.


Today, I finished it and was then given a message to share


What is the meaning of Life?

I was crying before the video was over because before the gentleman finished his testimony I heard, in The Spirit, “Love is the Meaning” only moments before his words were verbalized.


“Unprecedented times, the unknown before you. How much time do you need to believe?

Too many among you already go through the days with hardened hearts. Are you among those who put your focus on what you can see, on your social media “shares” and on what you can accumulate and moments later, replace?

Your beating heart means something to ME. Love is the answer but wrong choices are being made. What you see happening before you is but a silhouette of what is to come. Too many believe that time is infinite – when in fact – it is finite.



You believe in that which you create but not in the ONE who created. (Genesis 1:1-27)

Time will not stand still because I AM time.

The fragment of time you have been given is your opportunity to exercise that gift – Do you USE that gift or squander it?

Has My Son not told you that the Greatest of these is Love?

That Love He has spoken of is THE meaning behind all the mysteries you long to understand!

For those with ears to hear, hear this now:

if you wish you understand

what this life – your life – is ABOUT?


How you live your life is your gift to me but my ULTIMATE gift to you – beyond your beating heart – beyond eternity in Heaven –

is you WALKING into the fullness of your

DESTINY: Here/Now on Earth.

Each of you has one; a Destiny. But few of you ever to bother asking me if your goals and motivations are truly an “unction” of my calling to you or simply the temptations of the world calling upon your conscious, carnal, thinking mind.

By now, you should realize nothing is as it seems. Time, things and events will only escalate. If you read MY WORD, this you know and already understand. If you have not read my WORD – start now…

The Land of Confusion is before you and on the path ahead. What will you do with what you know? Trust only ME. If you do not know your Destiny – ASK ME.”

The title of this song, “Land of Confusion,” is what I understood I was to share with this message. Many of you know it’s a song from the group Genesis (1986). I am posting the lyrics along with it because the video is just too complicated (and really creepy) and does not include them.

Land of Confusion – Genesis

Lyrics – Land of Confusion

Matthew 7:7-12

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?

10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

11 If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?

12 Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.

King James Version (KJV)

Public Domain



The Eternal Valentine: Agape Love

The Richness of Agape Love

I AM that I AM– The Great I AM designed and created what LOVE is. How it works and functions. Today, Agape exists, but most people don’t get to experience it.


Romantic love is a fable – Agape Love is a Gift.

Marriages fail because they are rooted in the carnality of what each person wants to see.

Two people who do not have their “eyes on I AM” will struggle – because they are self-seeking. If they do survive, it is rare.


Usually one is more self-sacrificing that the other.

Marriages that are rich in Agape Love are created by MY design. This World (generally) does not comprehend Agape Love.

Two people brought together by Agape, will feel love for each other that they would never feel with another and could not be filled apart.

Agape is my ALL-Consuming desire to create a FIRE similar to the Holy Spirit.


Wholly Consuming



It is the one bond I do not allow to be broken: Because it is Rock-Solid: built around, upon & Sanctified by MY Holiness.


Agape LOVE never dies


Agape LOVE supports, enriches and never forsakes, fails or gives up.

Agape LOVE is love by design


Those who find it are never the same and are rich beyond measure for seeking it.”

Agape Love is the heart of God – His Loves for us is an Eternal Flame


John 3:16King James Version (KJV)

16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.




Searching for Words – Listening for Whispers




As I spend the next couple hours writing, the above song is what I am listening to.

I am praying for Wisdom and searching for fruit from the Spirit.

Give me YOUR words, Lord!


Psalm 46-11

The Lord Almighty is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress


Big Daddy Weave – Love Come To Life Lyrics

(highlights in Blue are my thoughts only)

I’ve been restless on the inside
Wondering about this heart of mine
I’ve been desperately trying to find
A way to prove that I’m still alive
Has the love I speak so loudly of quietly grown cold

(This part is my FAVORITE)
Has my life been an empty voice?
What I say needs to be seen
I need to step out and make the choice
To let go of everything (Please!)
Would you reignite this heart spark here in the dark? (Amen)

Bring your love to life inside of me
Why don’t you break my heart til it moves my hands and feet
For the hopeless and the broken
For the ones that don’t know that you love them
Bring your love to life inside of me

A generation you’re calling out
Living everything that we sing about
A revelation right here and now
Of love beyond a shadow of a doubt
Love that’s greater than our own
Won’t remain unknown, when you


Love come to life, love come to life, love come to life inside of me




Dear God,

There is truly nothing more worthwhile than finding out who we are in Christ. Understanding who you intended us to be, seeking you and letting you lead us there – Amen.

Romans 12:12

Be glad for all God is planning for you.

Be patient in trouble, and always be prayerful.





Searching For Christmas: A Letter to Mom


Dear Mom,

I don’t know why God put it on my heart to write to you this morning.

I guess ’cause in hindsight, yesterday was a Monday and I didn’t “Armor Up” the way I should have. Yes, I took it to God at the end of the day.

But I find myself tearing me down, even though I know I’m supposed to be forgiven.

Is this what you felt like every time you stumbled?

I remember you always told me when I was little I could talk to you about anything. And as I recall, I did.

I miss that. I miss you.

Although I manage to stumble through Mothers Day, Christmas feels 10x harder. Even with two awesome kids. It seems like I shouldn’t feel this way.

Christmas is about Joy and Peace and a Prophecy of Promise. But with this Shemitah year, it seems like a roller coaster ride on “steroids!” And you know I am NOT fond of roller coasters!

Christmas, the holiday, is the time of the year I fell in love with, largely because of you. God may have given us a Baby to save our Eternal Souls but He gave each of us a Mom to hold, hug, and turn to when the World wasn’t kind.

I really don’t want to go on and on. I don’t want to blubber my way through this. So, I am going to find my way back to my original goal. To let you know something that feels really important today, to tell you “several something’s” – even though you left this world behind decades ago:

I Love You.

I’m so glad I was your daughter.

As little as I remember about you, I know I am becoming more like you everyday. I can feel that in my Soul.

Besides my Creator, you were my biggest fan, my cheerleader and the wind beneath my wings.

Without you, there would not have been a me.

I know you wanted to stay here with me and watch me grow from your baby girl into a young woman. I guess God figured He had that covered. Whatever His purpose or plans for my life …like you, I trust in Him.

God is GOOD, ALL the time. And. God is ALWAYS GOOD.

My search for Christmas goes on. Even if it’s tucked away, I know God will lead me to it.

God Bless each of you. There is a Hope to be found that will bring us what we need! Just ask and it will be given to you (Matthew 7:7)



Kendall’s Story: Part II – Resolving The Past


Twenty years later, she looked at the invitation in her hand.

Twenty years, already?

She put the invitation down and dismissed it.

She’d made a promise that she would go, that she wouldn’t miss it. Would her friends care if she skipped? Would they notice if she didn’t?

Did it matter?


“Geez, I don’t even know if I want to go!” Kendall thought aloud…I don’t want to make this decision.

Several months before hand, Kendall’s life had changed. She’d grown up as a “Christian” and fully  understood who Jesus was…a brush with death turned her life upside down/inside out.

That brush with death had led Kendall to cross over to a new life. Not physically, but certainly emotionally and spiritually.

She was what “secular society” called “Born Again.” The term never really made sense to her and hearing it in years gone by made her entirely uncomfortable.

But according to

John 3:  New Living Translation (NLT)

Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.[a]

“How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit[b] gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You[c] must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.”[d]


Because Kendall was a New Believer, she didn’t understand how much power she had by having the Spirit of God actually living within her. But she was about to find out….

Here she was a 40 year old mother of 2, folding laundry.

20 Years?

She’d done her best to push those years out of her mind. But, 20 years slip by fast.

Folding laundry was always such a menial task (at best) and was now a mindless activity with the reunion invite announcement sitting squarely in the the back of her mind. Even if the invitation was buried in a pile somewhere – it might well have been glued to her face.

A reunion had seemed so far off back then…the reality of trying to decide if she wanted to attend it was almost all consuming.

Now what? She thought to herself…

“ASK ME.” came the inaudible voice – The Inner Nudge

Kendall paused, cocked her head wondering what to think but proceeded to say a prayer aloud:



I don’t know what to do. This is just a High School reunion, a social event. I don’t really need to go even though I made a promise to myself (so long ago) that I would…tell me what to do.

Help guide me in the right direction. I don’t want to go unless it’s your WILL and for your purposes that I do. I’ll admit it, I’m scared. I can’t do this on my own.



There were lots of reasons Kendall DID NOT want to go to her reunion, but the biggest was she wasn’t sure she wanted to see him.


She continued to work hard at putting the milestone event out of her mind; which was all but impossible.

Until the following week, when her mind had traveled off in time and space. Still looking for answers.

“Go, You will be there for the right reasons. Take my hand, I will lead you.”


Kendall knew it was God’s answer…without Him even having to preface it.

She booked her tickets and made her reservations. She only had a week to wait….

Flying into the Northwest was an odd sensation. But as the plane approached Portland International Airport, she couldn’t tell if she felt more sick, nervous or either one…maybe neither.

“I AM with you.”

Kendall had intentionally not attended her 10 year reunion.

She’d always felt like a “fish out of water” and showing up at this event was no exception. Her presence here, now, revolved around God’s plan. If God intended to stretch her comfort zone… in addition to making her uncomfortable, He was doing a bang-up job.

Suffice it to say, She recognized hardly anyone, at least at first. Kendall had normally been the kind of girl who could say hello to strangers, be a friendly face and help to the new kids and make them feel welcome. Now, her fellow alumni were slowly but surely making the rounds and stopping to say hello to her. Talk about surreal.

The night was half way over with dinner having long been served and Kendall hadn’t gone near it. She might regret that later, but her nerves (so far) suppressed her appetite.

As she mingled through the crowd and left the banquet hall for fresh air and change of scene; she considered the possibility she might not see Tim before the night was through. Staring out a window that overlooked downtown, she listened to various conversations as people meandered through the hallways. For most of her fellow classmates, this was just another social gathering. A mixer – a place to see and be seen….

She turned and walked away from the view of city lights and headed back into the banquet hall. 10 steps away from her and walking directly in her line of fire, was a brown-haired, blue-eyed man. His facial features having changed significantly; he was no longer the boy in her memory, he was a man. She hadn’t realized who he was until it was too late.

His eyes penetrated hers and shot straight to her soul. Making her want to laugh, cry and gasp all at once, just like 23 years prior. But this time, things were different. Covered in the power of Christ, Kendall squashed the same emotions that had kept her chained for all those years and as she slowed her pace, so did Tim.

“How the heck have you been, Tim. You look great.”

“I’ve been great Kendall, Thanks. You look great, too” and the conversation continued with the obvious niceties of acceptable “small talk” for about 5 minutes.

Yes, 5 minutes.

They had never been friends. They had barely been acquaintances. But the first time Tim spoke to her, he’d asked for her picture. And Kendall had never given it to him.

Effectively she’d never finished answering her portion of his question.

Kendall sat at the table after Tim had left and and took a deep breath. She would have never recognized Tim had they not passed, face-to-face in the hallway.

He was no longer teenage cute; he was now GQ Handsome. Kendall could barely remember a word of their speed-of-light conversation but it wasn’t the scope of the conversation that counted. It had been her ability to initiate it, look him square in the face and shed the image she had of HER-Self as a t0ngue-tied high school kid. She had faced her LOsT and unrealized High School love head on and emerged a woman through those smoldering teenage embers – which had burned out long ago.

Kendall had been swayed by the powers of Spiritual warfare. The enemy wanted her to BELIEVE that Tim had all the qualities that she likely wanted in a guy. She’d been stuck in the past haunted by a ghost of his youth. But as much as Tim MAY have been a gentleman as a man, young boys can (and do) make mistakes. She’d felt dumped if not unintentionally ignored after one brief exchange. It wasn’t Tim’s fault…it wasn’t hers. The enemy had taken an opportunity to seize her emotions and manipulate her heart. The enemy had lied to her and tried to make Tim the fall guy. It was her first realization of what Spiritual Warfare could look like – the enemy had taken the upper edge – until NOW.

Kendall’s mind catapulted in light speed mode from 1983 to 2006. She’d just set those shackles free that had bruised her body and heart for more than two decades. Only to realize that even back in her teenage years, God had been protecting her.

Too young to get married, Kendall might easily have been tempted to sacrifice the most precious human thing she had (her virginity) out of what she perceived as love, too soon.

She wouldn’t be able to fully embrace a man’s love until she’d found and uncovered God’s Love for her.  It’s hard to fully appreciate God’s design when we don’t fully understand God outside a relationship with HIM. What she needed to know now was what a Man’s love for his wife would look like, truly feel like, and mean to her.



It took her about a week to realize and recognize why God had told her to come on this trip. Kendall hadn’t had any issues to resolve with Tim. They hadn’t been friends, they’d barely been acquaintances. The reason for the trip was more personal than that. Kendall had trust issues with God. She didn’t know what to expect, how to act or how to follow HIM. But this had been the first step.

He’d faithfully allowed her to set her false or misplaced feelings for Tim free. He’d empowered her to find the words to get beyond her weaknesses and make her words her strength. Getting answers from Tim about why he didn’t try harder to make “them” work wasn’t HIS goal. Tim was simply God’s tool to help Kendall see what she couldn’t all along. She could be brave and courageous. And if she didn’t have the strength to do it solo, God wouldn’t abandon her.

God would LOVE her as much if not more as any man ever could.


Dear God:

Thank you for protecting me from myself. How often have I traveled roads I didn’t belong on but you re-directed me back – to YOU. People we know and meet will come and go from our lives. You’ve taught me that. YOU are the only thing that is steadfast. You helped me put the chains of Tim behind me. You helped me to see more clearly how TRUSTing YOU is the only way to live. The only WAY to be truly free.

Thank you for your patience, for your guiding hand. For loving me and not giving up on me.

I pray that for all those who read this, they will see that our hearts don’t always speak honestly to us and you are not only the TRUTH but you are the LIGHT on a very narrow path that’s far too easy to stray from.

Thank you for your guidance. Cover us with your peace and help us to seek your wisdom and find clarity we long for.













My True Valentine: A letter from John

I’ve been contemplating for more than a week about writing a Valentine’s post.

I thought about hosting a book give-away, but that would be hard since I’m as yet unpublished.

I contemplated a lot of options.

I contemplated because I was procrastinating. I was procrastinating because (unfortunately) Valentine’s is not one of my favorite “holidays”.

Yes, A lot of things about me are typically female.

I like flowers.

I like candy (ok, maybe I don’t need to eat it).

I’m not opposed to enjoying a nice glass of red (though I don’t drink much anymore).

I am procrastinating because of my frustration with the commercialization of Valentine’s Day; and our “American Affair.”

I don’t watch much TV anymore and I’m glad, because the onslaught of Valentine’s advertising turns my gut. I’m wouldn’t be opposed to jewelry, diamonds and gems…but every time I read 1 Peter 3:3 and balance that against the thought of so many that have to choose between putting food on the table and staying warm…well, you get my drift.

Yes, I think heavy; that’s how God made me. One of my former supervisors (my junior year in college) told me point blank that I was the most analytical person she’d ever met. I heard that with mixed reactions but have since convinced myself that being SO ANALYTICAL is a good thing.

The “Commercialization” of Valentines (or any other holiday) takes the meaning away from the intent. On Valentines, what are our eyes besieged with? Red and pink hearts, romance and love, flowers and on and on. I am not here to rain on anyone’s parade only to shed light on why getting caught up in this culturally driven machine of “more, more, more” and “spend, spend, spend” – “want, want want” WILL never satisfy or satiate us. We were not designed this way, even if the world we live in – is.

Here is my analysis of why:

We are people. People are created beings with immense potential to love.
The love we have can’t be taken from us

but the love we share with others offers exponential growth potential

I’ve been spending a fair amount of time with God in His Word. Curiously enough, I’m drawn to it. While I know many people shy away or fear opening those rice paper thin pages; each time I do God’s direction comes through loud and clear in some way, shape or form.

Ten years ago, if I tried to open the bible it literally read “like Greek” to me. Nothing made sense. That was frustrating.

Then 7 years ago; when I believed I was dying. It all changed. I will write about it…but that will be a day long project. On that day, that night…God got a hold of my heart and help me understand what Love is.

Love is about surrender. (Job 11:13-15)

Love is about sacrifice (Romans 12)

Love conquers All – want to know how I know? (1 Peter 4:8)

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

The message of Valentines day has much less to do with what you give or receive TODAY and much more to do with a promise made long before you and I ever arrived on the earth. The essence of Valentines Day is a spiritual one.  It’s one that leaves me content and feeling peace.

(Romans 5:8) But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Yes, I am banking my Valentines Day happiness on a verse from scripture. Why wouldn’t I?

I don’t know anyone who would lay down their life for me…(and God was aware of this problem as well)

Someone who LOVED me even with all my flaws JUST because. To save me from myself.

Someone who KNeW if they didn’t sacrifice, then I didn’t have a chance

In fact, the meaning of true love is perfectly shown through Christ’s remarkable gift of mercy.

Jesus Loved YOU, He Love ME so much….

that He was willing to put his life on the line

and die to prove it:

JOHN: 3:16

16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

The more I consider this post and this date on the calendar the more I realize that giving and sharing God’s Love, HIS Love, the love of Christ is what we were commanded to do EVERYday .

We all have a purpose.

We were born and created to be something…our presence HERE is no accident

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (Proverbs 19:21)

It’s easy to look at Valentines Day as a material – event..but it is so much more fulfilling to live loving each other like Christ did:

Love the sinner, not the sin….every day.

So, when I speak of my letter from John as my ONE true Valentine I am referring to John 3:16 and rest assured: God knows that you’re worth it!


Our Journey: Where do WE belong?

I’ve heard from some reader’s how they are enjoying what I’m writing – that’s it’s inspirational. I’m glad for that.

It seems like slowly but surely this tiny blog might be helping someone out there.

Somewhere, in another corner of the world – the words I’m writing will make a difference. Someone needs to hear them; maybe as much as I need to write them.

Don’t kid yourself: there are times when I may be crying/or tearing up as I do this.

Sometimes, the road that leads to getting that inspiration can feel both daunting and overwhelming.

While I was “traveling” on THAT so-called road, “It” got to me several times today. You might wonder, what the, It is…huh?

This World’s:





Why do I let IT get to me? Because I am human

frail – weak – vulnerable:

On My Own. My “power” is limited. Truly.


I am LETTING the world get to me – when I DON’T have to.

I am ALLOWing the ENEMY (yes, Satan) a toe-hold that he doesn’t deserve! And why is ThAT?

Because I have forgotten something: I belong to Christ. (Phil 4:7, 1 Cor 3:23)

I have had to take a V-E-R-Y long pause at this point. To really consider what I need to share & What you need to hear.

What is it that MATTERs?

We are NOT alone. DO NOT THINK for a moment YOU ARE!

and Every-OnE of us aches at one time or another. Jesus did.

The hurt is different for everyone.

I don’t even have to mention what those “hurts” are and you don’t have to tell me. God Knows.

Your hurts and heartaches can be healed. On your own, it might take time.

So…Give it to Jesus! If he can raise Lazarus…he can heal us! (Psalm 147:3, Mark 5:34)

As much as you or I may be offended, affected, insulted, injured, ignored, blamed or a “scape goat” it’s up to US to KNOW where our hope is!

Until you recognize that your salvation, your hope, your future is in Christ….you can’t CLAIM it!

Once you claim it, no one can take it from you – AND once you’ve got it – you’ve got the power of God and Jesus to lean into!

What more do we need?

We need to stop looking to this world to   “v-a-l-i-d-a-t-e”   Our worth! We are priceless in God’s Econ0my…..


I’m posting the lyrics from my song choice tonight as a reminder to myself…

I listened to the video and followed the words. It was what I needed.

I hope the music helps reinforce whatever message I’m supposed to be sharing. But, more than that – I hope you like it.

Sometimes it feels like I’m watching from the outside
Sometimes it feels like I’m breathing but am I alive
I won’t keep searching for answers that aren’t here to find

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

So when the walls come falling down on me
And when I’m lost in the current of a raging sea
I have this blessed assurance holding me.

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

When the earth shakes I wanna be found in You
When the lights fade I wanna be found in You

All I know is I’m not home yet
This is not where I belong
Take this world and give me Jesus
This is not where I belong

Where I belong, where I belong
Where I belong, where I belong


Mission accomplished, I hope. I don’t know who needed to hear this – but you’re not alone.

Find your Light in Christ and then let him help you “shine” it.

Your journey is just beginning, follow along and join me: It’s time to see you sparkle, too!





The WAY – YOU hold me – LoVe It!

It’s been a couple days since I was able to post. I actually kind of missed it.

I know I write often enough about letting God guide us – which is in our best interest.

I’ve also written about how much we worry about staying in control – when we aren’t in control at all…

Recently I think I wrote about “tangents” and how they can be meant to distract us…but what if one (or even) some of those “tangents” are meant to help us, slow us down or even save our life? Yes, you heard me. comment down below if you want to know more about “testing the spirits;” But for now, let’s move on

Last week I was ON my TOES. Each morning started at 5:30, with the inception of my 30 day First Fruits Challenge…(which is still going strong) all the way until bedtime (whenever that WAS).

My Saturday was just as busy..it was the first Saturday in a long time I had to be somewhere, rather early. By the time Saturday afternoon arrived, it was (or I was) a lost cause.

There were so many things I needed to get done…and I just sat on my couch at a complete loss. I was finished. The needs I “felt” awaiting my attention slowly “morphed” into wants and my body just wouldn’t m-0-v-e.

The condition continued through to Sunday. Except on Sunday, I found myself alternating between the couch and bed…grasping for sleep. I was SO physically tired; I was drained. Zero energy. It felt very unusual for me…it was as if everything had been brought to an abrupt halt without my consent and I could NOT do a thing about it.

I pushed myself to get a couple loads of wash done and breakfast and dinner cooked! (I’ve learned food is a good thing though when running on empty!)

As it were, I had no time, inclination, or “drive” this weekend to post anything on here.  Trying to form any type of coherent thought, or inspiring thought was not in the cards and would not have been God-led  😦

Initially, I thought the enemy might be trying to keep me from achieving my tasks. And I found that a tad-irritating. Until I slowed down enough to consider that this “couch day” and literal “Duck Dynasty” marathon was time for me to “recharge”- it something I needed. He knew it. I didn’t. We don’t always recognize what we need, remember?

From Jesus Calling, my 30 day challenge:

Expect each day to contain surprises….be willing to follow wherever I lead
….the safest place to be is by MY side.
AND FINALLY:                                                                                                                                Trust that I am with you in this moment, whether you sense my presence or not

Bottom line is while I ache to feel God’s presence, to understand him and know him. He will let me sense him, hear him and know him as I need to.

I’m searching for him everywhere I can and I know he knows that. I stand firm on His promises and know he is holding me close. My faith in him will carry me through anything. It already has; It always will.

If he He can Hold Me…He can hold you, too. There is no safer, happier, better place to be!

Wishing you a week that is filled with Godly insight and abundant blessings!

As always, thank you for stopping by….


“The First Fruits 30 Day Challenge”


I am s-o-o-o NOT a morning person. Yes, I can easily stay up til 1am reading, writing or blogging. But waking up is always a challenge, even if I go to bed at 8-9pm.  Sigh.

I intentionally decided to get up early today.

The last 2-3 days have felt like a “BUST.” I haven’t been getting up when I (probably) should and that has affected everything. My bible devotion/reading time has been pushed back to mid-day or afternoon. Fruit-less.

Last night, right before bed I was listening to a friend’s online blog interview (I’ll talk more about that another time) and even though the topic was about spiritual warfare it really got me to THINK-ing about: First Fruits.

I copied this over from Biblegateway.com:

In the New Testament, “FirstFruits” is used as a metaphor for something given in advance, anticipating a greater benefit or “harvest” to come. A short explanation of First Fruits is found in Proverbs 3:9-10. For more detail reference Deuteronomy 26. I just re-read it and it spoke VoLuMeS to me.

Moving along…The concept of First Fruits is nothing new. But, having felt led to do so – I set my wake up call (which was 5:30 am, far too early, in my opinion.)

And I guess I must have been tired, ’cause I slept well….

5:30 arrives. Really?

5:45: I finished reading the devotion for January 8th, cross referencing the scriptures as listed and writing them down in my spiral bound notebook. My 2014 method for starting to memorize The Word. Reading and then writing it down. I’ve got to start somewhere. If I’m going to write about Spiritual Warfare, I’m going to have to be grounded on and in God’s Word.

After I finished those tasks…I laid the materials aside and closed my eyes. I still had 1o minutes before my next alarm clock went off. I can get good rest in 10 minutes.

“The First Fruits 30 Day Challenge”

“What?” I say

“You know what I am asking. Blog about it.”

God doesn’t say much when He speaks, but you better listen and act accordingly when you do hear him. I know the holy spirit was prompting me last night to complete my early reading this morning and it’s because I was being tested to prepare myself for this challenge.

His request was the additional gentle nudge forward to take this act of faith and encourage others to join me in trying it.

The Challenge isn’t difficult. Just take the first 10 minutes of your day to read the bible (if you’ve never read the bible: Start with the Book of John in the New Testament) Otherwise, just start with the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts) and meet the “players.”

He wants me to convey, that by giving HIM our attention upon us WAKING up, as the FIRST thing we do for our DAILY HARVEST of production – our day will see better results. Our results will be GREATer than had we chosen to step out of bed without so much as opening the cover…when we involve HIM at the beginning He will oversee our day and remain with us until we fall asleep. First Fruits = Blessed Harvest. This does not mean our blessings will be everything WE ASK for. We will be blessed as GOD sees fit to act (whether we see those results, or not.)(

Digging into the richness of scripture and listening for His voice allows Him to invest in Me. Which leads me to wonder what kind of ROI (Return on Investment) I might be able to expect if I really try??!! That’s not to say I expect ANYthing. But God is the giver of gifts.

Now for my favorite part. The music side. I am posting a song that is an absolute favorite of mine. But, some background.

I have been a “Christian” since I small. However, there IS a DiFFerence between being a Christian and “walking with Christ.” My walk actually began in ~2006-7. Before 2007, I’d never heard of Contemporary Christian music and I had only ever listened to A/C (Adult Contemporary). When a fried (thank you ERIN) shared with me where I should “tune” to listen; “Believe” was one of the first two songs that came on. It was pivotal. I’ve never forgotten it. Andy Chrisman is a gifted singer.

Though this is not truly a video….it is the only version of the song i can find to share but it has always spoken volumes to me. I hope you like it, too.

May God Bless you beyond measure today!


hello and goodbye: a bittersweetness that leads to healing

What happened to 2013?


2012 went by so fast and I don’t remember ushering in 2013! I simply wasn’t ready for it. While some might be getting ready to toast the New Year with a chilled bottle of bubbly, I am doing so in my own style.

I am savoring what’s left of this day, this month..this year and indulging in a bar of dark chocolate. At least I am getting my anti-oxidants out of the deal. I can’t drink bubbly easily anyway. Oh well.

So, what am I going to take with me as I say goodbye to ’13 and ’14 comes waltzing in? Watch me

I’m not the person I was yesterday. I don’t want to be better. I want to be different. It’s kind of like a good glass of red wine and a (sinfully) rich and decadent brownie. You wouldn’t think to pair good wine and chocolate. The sound of it is probably enough to make your stomach churn…

This year, I want to take my relationship with Jesus down that same road. I mean Jesus is like that rare, fine aged, perfect wine. And I am like that rich and decadent brownie (full of sin). Pair Jesus perfection with my sin and what have you got? A beautiful, merciful, forgiven mess of eternal proportions that is ripe for God to use as He sees fit.

This year, I ache to spend more time in scripture. I want to incorporate what I read with what I write. I want to write in ways I hadn’t thought were possible. I want the Holy Spirit to pour out on me the richness of God and let the words just overflow on the computer screen.

I’m hoping that the sweetness of my repenting will mirror a chocolate bar and be equally matched up with the richness of God’s Mercy, like a fine bottle of red.

I belong to him, because He bought me with a price. Dark Chocolate is bittersweet and a good wine…(well Jesus first miracle after all was turning water into the finest wine – John 2:1-11) is a commodity. Rarely is the best saved for the last. In this case, I’m hopeful – NO -I’m prayerful and expectant that God will take the mess I am…from yesterday and use it to make something amazingly beautiful in tomorrow….for the new year and beyond.

How about you? Why don’t you give it a try, too?

Next year happens between 11:59 and midnight and then we have 365 until it happens all over again. I for one am hopeful that you give Jesus a try, right along with me.  He asks very little from us but offers the most amazing, eternal gift: LIFE and LOVE

Say goodbye to 2013 and Make 2014 the year you get to know Jesus. He LOVES you… It really is just that simple!

Happy New Year,