Tag Archive | peace

Thru The EF-1 Rains

I had driven across the river to an antiques shop.

Decades ago after my mother passed, I had inherited some sort of pink statue from her. It has been sitting on top of a desk for years – and I had always wondered about it.

Today was the day I went out to see what I could learn about it.

This items seems to be in the shape of a “Japanese Monk” and it’s made of Jade. By the time that was determined, I looked outside for probably the 3rd time. The storm was really close because the ominous black clouds were no longer in the distance, they were overhead.

I walked out the door greeted by drops of rain and got in my car. Within a minute, the rain appeared to fall from the sky like a blanket. I got to the light before crossing the bridge and wondered how bad things could get. I stayed 25-30mph in the 40 across the Arkansas.

It continued to pour and cars around me were going super slow…some had pulled over to the side. I made one additional stop before heading home and as I drove up the hill and the road narrowed that’s when “things” started to feel hairy… The rain was worsening and even with my wipers on high I couldn’t keep the windshield clear. It was as if the sky had opened up and bucket upon bucket upon bucket of blankets of water were being poured out.

It was about this time when all I could see was headlights through the windshield and I could no longer make out the shapes of automobiles that I was PROMPTED to sing as I drove. Outta no where I started to sing “Jesus loves me…” (I barely remember singing it in hindsight but within moments of singing it I KNEW I wasn’t alone.) If I was feeling any anxiety before it was replaced by Yahveh’s Peace washing over and through me. By this point, I was about 2 minutes from home.

That storm cell was a “do-zey” – and I didn’t know it but a tornado watch had been put into effect


Thirty minutes later as I was driving, the skies above were mostly blue. While the storm water retention ponds were full many low road points were overflowing one might never have known by looking “up” that a thunderstorm had just passed. Further North and East it was a different story – dark looking clouds were re-gathering momentum and continuing their pursuit.

It was in these “after” moments that I thought back to a radio show where Glynda Lomax had spoken of having to take shelter in her tiny storm closet and as a she waited through a tornado warning, She began to sing, “Praise you in This Storm” and the Peace of Jesus just washed through her.

God’s Power is infinite and His peace is activated through our Praises.

Glory Be to Elohim!


This is what the skies above looked like during the afternoon’s Severe weather outbreak: an EF-1 Tornado was the result.

-Kenzel

 

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Mother’s Day: Not Forgotten

I was ready to bypass a Mother’s Day post altogether. But – in God’s true character -he wasn’t about to let that happen.

Today, I went to see the movie God’s Not Dead 2.

This sequel blew me away! It has been on my mind since I left the auditorium, which was a good thing. The main character faced an enemy with a hidden agenda; to steal, kill and destroy.

It’s the very reason why Ephesians 6:10-18 is so important.

This afternoon, the enemy began his crafty schemes. Reminding me that MY mom is gone and has been for decades – he was set on making me feel inferior and inadequate and twisting truth.

About this time I had gone to sit outside and looked up at the sky. I remember thinking, “Lord, where are you? Don’t forget me..”

His response was so fast, “I have not forgotten you.”

In that moment, he lifted the carnal sting of Mother’s Day. I knew I had allowed myself to think as the world does and put more stock in a single “holiday” on the calendar than in the promises of My Savior. Fortunately, his Grace provided relief rather than shame.

He reminded me that my life is not dictated by how the world celebrates. I was not designed to measure myself by those factors because the world’s standards are limited compared to his position in time and space.

This Sunday is the Lord’s Day. It just so happens to also be Mother’s Day. As far as I’m concerned it is perfect, because it is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it (Psalm 118:24). I have a purpose (Jeremiah 29:11). I trust that Jesus won’t forsake me and is always there ready to listen and comfort.

For ALL Motherless children reading this – may God Bless you with his Peace and wrap you in arms of love.

That is exactly the kind of love this Mom needs.

Blessings,

Kenzel

Happy Birthday, Forgive Me

I wrote this back in March. It was the day I wrote this that I took a step back from blogging. But NOW is as good a TIME as ever to share this.

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Sisters

Dear Sister,

A friend tweeted yesterday that the best writing arises out of the worst pain. So here goes.

It’s March 24; Happy Birthday ❤

The last time I said that to you was probably more than 20 years ago. It’s still hard to believe you passed on over 3 years ago.

I am stumbling over my thoughts. I couldn’t see straight as I cooked my eggs; tears were welling up and streaming down.

I’m Sorry.

I’m so, so sorry.

We were Sisters. But we were so very different. I know I wasn’t what you expected and I know I let you down.

21 years apart in age is a big gap in time.

I don’t know why God decided to bless Mom and Dad with me “late in life.” I know we didn’t have a lot in common. I know (for Sisters) we were both stubborn.

A lot of mistakes were made along the way. I know what happened wasn’t our fault.

Forgive me for not being able to live up to your expectations. I never expected anything from you, just to be accepted but most of all, not to be a burden.

I remember, after Mom and Dad died, you once said that all of us kids lost something when they departed. You were right.

I also know that when you died, I lost something, too.

The only Sister I ever had.

I have made many mistakes in this life. I’m still trying to forgive myself for most of them. I know God has forgiven me but I find myself struggling to do so. I’m sure that’s why He has set me to task to blog and why I know I have to face it all in the memoir (or whatever it looks like when it’s done.)

I find my mind wandering to how you spent your last days (hours) on this earth. The war we face is not of this world. It is purely Spiritual. It is against unseen and supernatural forces. Spiritual Warfare is a REAL life game WE are ALL confronted with in some form, everyday. Whether or not we chose to accept it for what it is.

Jesus is our Holy Spirit but we have to Armor Up frequently because the enemy is constantly at our door step ready to battle.

I know a lot more about wielding my power now than I did when the chaos first started, but I will never want to stop learning and growing.

I think of you often. I think of what was. I think of what happened and then I realize what I have to do.

I have to Let God lead – ask Him to direct me. Wait on Him.

Our memories serve as both blessings and life lessons. For instance, I remember you fondly and wish I’d been able to turn the other cheek more often. I Pray you finally found Peace with Christ. Peace that you didn’t have here.

I know you loved me and I loved you, even if we never figured out how to show it or didn’t know how to say it.

We didn’t have a perfect relationship but I now realize it’s because we live in an imperfect world. And maybe that realization at this moment is God’s way of helping me heal and forgive myself.

Because He Loved Us First.

You are now…shining even brighter, For Him, in His presence.

Searching For Christmas: A Letter to Mom

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Dear Mom,

I don’t know why God put it on my heart to write to you this morning.

I guess ’cause in hindsight, yesterday was a Monday and I didn’t “Armor Up” the way I should have. Yes, I took it to God at the end of the day.

But I find myself tearing me down, even though I know I’m supposed to be forgiven.

Is this what you felt like every time you stumbled?

I remember you always told me when I was little I could talk to you about anything. And as I recall, I did.

I miss that. I miss you.

Although I manage to stumble through Mothers Day, Christmas feels 10x harder. Even with two awesome kids. It seems like I shouldn’t feel this way.

Christmas is about Joy and Peace and a Prophecy of Promise. But with this Shemitah year, it seems like a roller coaster ride on “steroids!” And you know I am NOT fond of roller coasters!

Christmas, the holiday, is the time of the year I fell in love with, largely because of you. God may have given us a Baby to save our Eternal Souls but He gave each of us a Mom to hold, hug, and turn to when the World wasn’t kind.

I really don’t want to go on and on. I don’t want to blubber my way through this. So, I am going to find my way back to my original goal. To let you know something that feels really important today, to tell you “several something’s” – even though you left this world behind decades ago:

I Love You.

I’m so glad I was your daughter.

As little as I remember about you, I know I am becoming more like you everyday. I can feel that in my Soul.

Besides my Creator, you were my biggest fan, my cheerleader and the wind beneath my wings.

Without you, there would not have been a me.

I know you wanted to stay here with me and watch me grow from your baby girl into a young woman. I guess God figured He had that covered. Whatever His purpose or plans for my life …like you, I trust in Him.

God is GOOD, ALL the time. And. God is ALWAYS GOOD.

My search for Christmas goes on. Even if it’s tucked away, I know God will lead me to it.

God Bless each of you. There is a Hope to be found that will bring us what we need! Just ask and it will be given to you (Matthew 7:7)

Blessings,

-Kenzel

weary for rest

I am so tired, Father.

Help me rest…show me peace. Give me respite for the evening.

I need refreshment to face tomorrow…cover me through the night and prepare me for what you have planned.

Help me to love others and forgive as you have me.

I’ll never stop searching for you, just don’t let go.

In Your name, I pray….Amen.

-Kenzel

Unshakable – The Solid Rock

A good friend took me with her to a Bible study that started today. The focus will be the Book of Ezekiel. This has been long in coming. As many times as I have read the Book of Revelation, I’ve not yet read Ezekiel. And God told me it is time to put that oversight behind me.

But Ezekiel is not the focus of this entry. Unshakable faith is. Notice I didn’t say “religion.”

Religion is about Laws. In the Old Testament, Laws governed the land.

The New Testament changed all that…Jesus…Changed ALL of it. Jesus is about a personal relationship. That’s it. Nothing more or less. This always seems to be such a stumbling block for people. I don’t get it!

I could cite a lot of reasons to be angry with God.                                                                       I’ve told him how angry I am with him over the years. He Knows.                                            In fact, he prepared me for writing this in the last few minutes by giving me a reminder of what his grief CAN feel like. And then he “nudged” me hard enough to sit down and WRITE.

Feeling God’s grief is not fun. I’ve felt it before. But it is something I have asked to experience. “How is that, you say?”

Over the years, I’ve learned that as part of my prayer life I want to ask God to:

Open my eyes to see

Break my heart, for what breaks his

help me to act, speak and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

— And God will answer those requests. Only, I probably won’t know he’s answered or that he’s used me for those purposes. Occasionally I know, because I “sense” it. But not always.

If you are un-churched                                                                                                                       Not the “churchy” type                                                                                                                      have MAYBe gone to church on holidays            OR have felt betrayed by the church       here are the basics to know:

There is something called The Holy Trinity (the three in ONE)

God- The Father

Jesus- (God) the Son

Spirit – (God) The Holy Ghost (yeah, the term holy ghost can “throw” people, just “go with it” ok?)

God created Jesus. After Jesus death and following his ascension, God SeNT the holy spirit to be on earth at Pentecost.

The Holy Spirit is powerful. PowerFully aWesome. Amazing and Supernatural. Do NOT take The Spirit for granted. He is GOOD. You want him on YOUR side!

Getting back on track…there are many situations in my life that I could feel deep anger over. I know you probably feel the same.

How wrong-ED we have been by people we trusted. BUT, what point IS there in harboring that anger? You know what anger leads to?

Think about it: resentment, bitterness, revenge.

Do those attributes sound positive? Do they sound encouraging? No, they are damaging, destructive and lead to heartache. These attributes are the mark of the enemy. Yep. The enemy has a mission to “steal, kill & destroy”(John 10:10)

While I have NO intention to give the enemy any “additional” wiggle room in my life the reality is while I live and breathe on this earth, I will experience trouble.

As Jesus said:“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”(John 16:33)

Question: How do I overcome the world AND how do I find myself UN-shakable – STANDing on the solid rock of Jesus?

Answer: I quit leaning on myself. I quit looking to THiS world for answers. I quit trying to CONTROL and ASK him (Jesus) to lead.

Those are freakish thoughts aren’t they? They sound like they go against the grain of what society says we “ought” to do – to “strive” for. And those qualities are EX-act-LY what Jesus wanted us to understand.

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:28-29)

‘my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:30

Ever tried standing on a big rock or boulder? You might be able to walk on it, dance on it, jump up and down. It wouldn’t move. It doesn’t. It’s UN-s-h-a-k-e-ABLE.

Jesus IS That Solid Rock. If you try and trust HIM enough to believe in his promises – You are going places! He does not disappoint and will NOT let you down.

He died on the Cross, but then God resurrected Him! How cool is THAT? If God gave his son, sacrificed him and then resurrected HIM to prove He COULD it’s only up to us to believe in the promise – HiS promise for everlasting life. All is takes is to have faith (even faith the size of a mustard seed – Matthew 17:20) in Jesus and accept his gift of grace.

Will you reach out to accept it? His grace card is free…and its benefits eternal.

Prayer:

Jesus, I need you. Help me find you. Show me who you are. Help me to find Your Solid Rock of mercy. Help me to be UN-shakable in a world that is ever-changing. Help me to feel your Love. Fill me to over-flowing and let me know you are with me. I want you in my life…starting now. Amen

I hope you experience God’s profound peace. There really is nothing like it. Thanks for stopping by and listening.

Blessings,

Kenzel

The WAY – YOU hold me – LoVe It!

It’s been a couple days since I was able to post. I actually kind of missed it.

I know I write often enough about letting God guide us – which is in our best interest.

I’ve also written about how much we worry about staying in control – when we aren’t in control at all…

Recently I think I wrote about “tangents” and how they can be meant to distract us…but what if one (or even) some of those “tangents” are meant to help us, slow us down or even save our life? Yes, you heard me. comment down below if you want to know more about “testing the spirits;” But for now, let’s move on

Last week I was ON my TOES. Each morning started at 5:30, with the inception of my 30 day First Fruits Challenge…(which is still going strong) all the way until bedtime (whenever that WAS).

My Saturday was just as busy..it was the first Saturday in a long time I had to be somewhere, rather early. By the time Saturday afternoon arrived, it was (or I was) a lost cause.

There were so many things I needed to get done…and I just sat on my couch at a complete loss. I was finished. The needs I “felt” awaiting my attention slowly “morphed” into wants and my body just wouldn’t m-0-v-e.

The condition continued through to Sunday. Except on Sunday, I found myself alternating between the couch and bed…grasping for sleep. I was SO physically tired; I was drained. Zero energy. It felt very unusual for me…it was as if everything had been brought to an abrupt halt without my consent and I could NOT do a thing about it.

I pushed myself to get a couple loads of wash done and breakfast and dinner cooked! (I’ve learned food is a good thing though when running on empty!)

As it were, I had no time, inclination, or “drive” this weekend to post anything on here.  Trying to form any type of coherent thought, or inspiring thought was not in the cards and would not have been God-led  😦

Initially, I thought the enemy might be trying to keep me from achieving my tasks. And I found that a tad-irritating. Until I slowed down enough to consider that this “couch day” and literal “Duck Dynasty” marathon was time for me to “recharge”- it something I needed. He knew it. I didn’t. We don’t always recognize what we need, remember?

From Jesus Calling, my 30 day challenge:

Expect each day to contain surprises….be willing to follow wherever I lead
….the safest place to be is by MY side.
AND FINALLY:                                                                                                                                Trust that I am with you in this moment, whether you sense my presence or not

Bottom line is while I ache to feel God’s presence, to understand him and know him. He will let me sense him, hear him and know him as I need to.

I’m searching for him everywhere I can and I know he knows that. I stand firm on His promises and know he is holding me close. My faith in him will carry me through anything. It already has; It always will.

If he He can Hold Me…He can hold you, too. There is no safer, happier, better place to be!

Wishing you a week that is filled with Godly insight and abundant blessings!

As always, thank you for stopping by….

Kenzel

Tripping on my own two feet

I asked for the challenge and failed. Or at least I feel like it. I watched the original Sound of Music with my father-in-law tonight, or at least we finished watching the DVD. He told me he could really appreciate it now, that he didn’t care for it when he was younger. He said it made him cry easily.

Crying shouldn’t be a bad thing…but he comes from the school of thought that men shouldn’t show their feelings. He’s been used to keeping them “controlled.” Ever since his wife died last year, he’s had a tough time of it. Understandably, he spent 47 years with her before her untimely and completely unexpected death.

“It’s ok to feel those emotions, “Grandpa” those emotions will help you to grow”
(that was the first response where I stuck thy foot in thy mouth)

“What would she say if she were here right now? Make the best of a bad situation, you can’t quit and give up.”

(and I stick thy foot in thy mouth again)

He promptly excused himself to bed. I was ready to go and tear my hair out. I asked God to help me help him. Grandpa was talking about his feeble attempts to control his emotions and how he was no longer able to do so….something he was unaccustomed to.

Grandpa isn’t a believer and the bible is a “collection” of fictional stories to him. So I really wanted to paint a picture that his heart doesn’t beat on it’s own. He can’t control how or when it beats. It’s controlled by the creator who made him and gave him the gift of his emotions.

Except I got all tongue-tied and completely messed up the opportunity to speak light, life and love into his presence. I missed my chance to be the hands and feet of God. I feel sick.

How many missed chances do I need to get it right? Grand-dad couldn’t leave the room fast enough after the momentum of our conversation got “too deep.”

Notes to Heaven

Dear God,

Speak to me. Make my feeble attempt to serve you become an avenue of your strength. Help me to forgive myself when I falter. It’s only through your grace that what I do has meaning and only with your power can I make a difference.

Don’t ever let me go, because the only place I ever want to be is close to you…safely sheltered in your wings. You are sovereign and with you all IS possible

I’m waiting to hear your whispers, help me to shine your light…

Amen

I’m posting two songs tonight. Because I need God to know how much I need him to “hold onto me” and how much His children really do need Him, whether we know (and are willing to accept it) or not.

and I’m also posting Toby Mac: Speak Life because that is my goal on this blog and in life….