Tag Archive | writing

Ready?: You are about to be enlisted

Not so very long ago, I thought I would write a Memoir.

 

Then Joy mentioned that it was not to be and as I listened to her words through tears, I was confused. I now understand why her words were truth.

 

A memoir is something that is written to Chronicle your life – written through your own worldly eyes. A Testimony is entirely different. It is a story that is told from the perspective of The Holy Spirit.

 

The moments are becoming more frequent where I cannot wait to put pen to paper and resume the work He has given me, guess that should be no surprise. When we delight ourselves in Him, he gives us the desires of our heart (Psalm 37:4)

 

However, I do not know how long I will continue that work because I recently had a vision of a wall-style clock and its hands were spinning so fast they were almost out of control.

 

While we need to be aware that things are going to happen that will leave us in shock, in awe; sad and grieved, that they are happening – they were foretold. They are more than the beginning of birth pains. They are our sorrows and His.

 

In fact, I am reminded that I had written about this 4 months ago when I was given a vision about Darkness Descending.

 

As darkness continues to descend, something is going to happen. This is tied to the Event that is ahead. God has told us within His Word that His Spirit resides within us. For those that have completely given themselves over to the Work of The Spirit, to God’s plan for The Earth, this event is tied to you.

 

You need to recognize what is happening and what is at stake. Recall Ephesians 6:10-18, that we fight not against flesh and blood but against that which is unseen. That is exactly what this is about. Consider this video snippet. Tris is sent into an induced simulation. But even in this simulation, she is dealing with a reality…an alternate reality:

 

“Chose”

 

Tris doesn’t make the choice in the simulation and EVEN THAT affects her result. If it didn’t matter that this was JUST in her MIND, consider how much more important IT IS FOR US.

 

Jesus tells us specifically that the battle starts in the mind.  Have you ever read the end Zechariah 14? You might want to…I won’t say more than that right now.

 

Instead, I’ll spell it out…the enemy has an army, but so does God. If you haven’t noticed there are a lot of voices out there saying the moment of decision isn’t just ahead; it’s here, it’s now.

 

What that means is, your decision doesn’t get to wait until your facing Yahushua at the Judgement seat of Christ. The decision rests on you, in this moment – now. It rested on the hearts and minds of the 59 souls who lost their lives in Las Vegas. And WE ALL pray they were right with God.

 

I’ll add this right now…Father, I lift up those souls to you NOW and ask you to give them the chance to say YES to you and acknowledge who YOU ARE.

 

Reading this on your laptop or device you might laugh at the idea about the concept of having to “chose,” but I don’t recommend it. Our enemy is out to steal, kill and destroy and he isn’t out to make promises he can keep.

 

God doesn’t want to see that happen, he doesn’t want anyone to perish. The enemy lives in the dark and he prowls the earth. (Job 1:7)

 

God does not just LIVE in the Light – HE IS THE LIGHT.

 

Thus, we approach the ultimate showdown and that is what you need to understand. If you have not read the Book of Revelation or the Book of Genesis, you should. Because Revelation wraps up what was begun in the Book of Genesis.

 

The Serpent tempted Eve. Have you ever figured out how Eve stumbled? I went back to Genesis and studied Eve because we have a lot to learn from her. the devil twisted his words intentionally to throw Eve off. She was unprepared for it…she ever so slightly misquoted The Father’s Words and that is how the enemy took the upper hand.

 

Well, the battles addressed in the gospels of the New Testament and especially in the Book of Revelation, is the conclusion of that epic saga.

 

Adam and Eve were innocent and naive. Ultimately, Eve is blamed for the fall of man (this is prophetic ladies, because ultimately a woman give birth to a man who reconciles ALL). Eve’s stumble doesn’t have to be repeated by us. She wouldn’t want us to “fall” into the same error she did.

 

I think Eve would want us to be Encouraged as we MOVE forward.

 

And as each of us IS being moved we need to remember that God knows where He needs us and will get us there.

 

MOVE! Keep Walkin’

 

Per Daniel (12:4) the books of prophecy were to be sealed until the time of The End. I believe The Holy Spirit is sharing with each of his beloved certain specifics regarding “The day and the hour.” Know that each of you who is committed to our Creator is going to be called forth and enlisted in God’s Army. And that is a GOOD thing. What I will share here, is that I’ve been shown Daniel 12:3 is actually referring to The 5 Wise Virgins.

Don’t be unprepared. Fight the good fight and ASK for your placement.

Know where you STAND and Remember that the darkness cannot exist where there is LIGHT.

Be ARMORED up (Eph 6:10-18) and ready because…

The Call is about to be made.

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From “On Becoming” to: Help Them!

I know I slept some, last night, but it was restless sleep. On top of that…it was just past midnight when I had entered deep prayer and heard:

 

“Now hear this, the hour of my reckoning is come. NO longer will thirst parch your lips as my living water…”

 

So I pulled myself from sleepiness to write; and waited, but nothing more came.

 

I had interrupted the moment because He had not told me to write. I should have just continued listening.

 

I wake up this morning to hear of more disturbances going on throughout the U.S. and the world and I think “How much more, Father?” I begin to cry out to the Father in Spirit this morning and then the tears come and My Spirit feels an overwhelming/overpowering grief.

 

Finally, in the Spirit I hear, “Help Them!” and I see this scene flash across my mind’s eye.

 

Help Them!

 

What does that mean, Lord? What do you want me to do?

 

“I want you to ask me for you to step outside your comfort zone. Remember when you first started writing back in 2009/10? You hadn’t started blogging yet, but you started writing your fictional action adventure, and never completed it. I intentionally stalled you. The section of the story you wrote concluded with you finding the box your Mom had hidden in the back yard – the box that you never knew about. She had buried it prior to her death. The box may have been fictional in nature but the message has never changed. The box contained something: a key. It was a key to a message, but only you could open it.”

 

“Oh My God…My Lord”

Then I was given a flash of the box scene from the movie Insurgent. This is the only video I can find where Tris mentions the box and it is shown ever so briefly. The box is shown in the background at 2:15. Tris directly mentions the box around 2:45.

 

The Box

 

Then I recall that there is a scripture in The Bible where The Lord is talking to someone. I do a search for what I know he wants me to ask and he prompts me to look up the: “Send Me” scripture. It leads me to this:

 

Isaiah 6:8

Then I heard the Lord asking, “Whom should I send as a messenger to this people? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me.”

 

So, here I sit. Ready and waiting for a prompt. Then I realize, I have already been prompted…and He is waiting for my reply.

 

Whatever it means and wherever it leads, I submit:

Father: Help me step outside my comfort zone. Take me where you want me to go. “Here I am. Send Me.”

 

Post-Script:

I hadn’t intended to include any music with this post – but even as I had continued with my work The Spirit insisted I come back and update the message to include this:

Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)

Testimony: Letter For Dad – Part I

Father God, This is the first time I have ever approached writing about Dad.

I love you, Lord. You are my Creator.

With your blessing, I’m going to start out writing him a Thank you letter.

I want to share thoughts here about the man you orchestrated to be my earthly Dad. Thank you for that…

 

Dear Dad,

This doesn’t come easy. I guess writing letters to those we’ve loved, then lost and grieve over are just naturally going to stretch us.

First, I want to Thank you…for being my Dad. I know neither one of us was perfect and I was only 17 when you died, so we didn’t get much time together after we buried Mom.

What didn’t I get a chance to say that I want to say now? I love you. I know I didn’t say that nearly enough. I would have hugged you way more often, too.

I’m sorry that I wandered off that day at the Park and disobeyed you. I’m sorry that I didn’t come back home to live with you once your time caring for Mom was over. My human mind believes that decision (on my part) was a tragic mistake, even though I know it was all part of God’s plan. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to your words and advice and pay more attention in general.

And if I thought I got short-changed with my time with Mom, then there is no doubt the same happened for us. In hindsight, now I see how every moment was a cherished gift. I also understand why in the book, “Imagine Heaven,” so many people who have experienced NDE’s (Near Death Experiences) express that “we who are living, miss out on the best parts of life.” (paraphrased)

I loved you teaching me how to make home ground/brewed coffee. Back in those days, the early 80’s, the Seattle coffee scene hadn’t quite gained its momentum. And besides our time on the tennis court, my favorite memories of you are walking in at 7am from having gone to pick up the Seattle Times and your cup of coffee. (Tears…)

Then you bought the coffee grinder and we started making coffee at home…you even enlisted my help. I loved grinding the beans and smelling its aroma (better than it tasted!). But what made my heart sing was when you would pour me a cup and prepare it “cafe ole” style (because it was caffeinated.)

We’d sit at the table and often enough indulge in the small bag of Dunkin’ Donuts you brought home. I will never forget how excited I was each time you did that.

Thank you for believing in me, for seeing my potential as a tennis player. Maybe you saw more in me than I did in myself.

Thank you for when you took us to The Enchanted Forest and Point Defiance. For having Marci take me to Wild Waves. I have never forgotten that day. Though I missed Mom, I loved Marci…and she brought part of me back (albeit all too briefly) that had disappeared with Mom’s absence. I’m glad she was in your life, near the end.

Thank you for standing up for me at school and teaching me Judo after I was beat up. Thank you for showing me what character and integrity look like. For caring for Mom until the very end…I do know she was the love of your life. I’m so sorry for the anguish of losing her. Thank you for getting her out of the motel and those 2 or 3 years of retirement.

As I write, I look at your picture taken at the family wedding in 1980. It’s hard to believe that that photo marked the beginning of so many changes ahead.

Thank you for taking me out to visit Mom’s family the year she died. I’ve never forgotten that…even though that trip had drama of its own.

I only want to write about the good memories here, because Part II is going to be so very different…

More than anything, I want you to know I appreciate every thing you ever did for our family. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for having served your country.

I want you to know, I have made mistakes. Lots of them. If you’re in Heaven and reading this then you already know that meeting with Betty before I left Kent was a turning point. And God knew exactly what He was doing that day.

The only thing I was ever sad about was that I never got to see where you worked in air traffic control. We often talked about my coming for a visit to the tower one day…and although I’m not sure where they are now, I kept the beautiful photos you gave me of the Blue Angels flying over Boeing Field for a long time.  I treasured those….

Dad, whatever God’s plans are for me…I will always be your little girl.

Love you, Daddy…

Post Script: Related Scriptures

This morning after I wrote and published this, I was reminded by the Holy Spirit of the words “Honor thy Father.” How could I forget that Honor your Father and Mother are the 6th of the 10 Commandments found in The Book of Exodus. You can find it under Exodus 20:12.

By writing this letter I was honoring both my earthly Dad and My Heavenly Father…there was a reason I felt compelled.

Blessings to All

 

Testimony: Through The Blur

Author’s Note: This is part of a Testimony of God’s Grace. Although these events occurred when I was a teenager (15-17 years old) the memories are nearly as fresh today as they were then. My style of writing has changed little…the difference is I have had time to practice writing on these blogs and have been directed to share these experiences for “Such a Time as This.”

 


 

I stared at the breakfast plate in front of me – picking at food I couldn’t focus on.

Tired and lacking sleep – my eyes were still heavy and puffy from tears. I didn’t want to be here. Almost anywhere, but here. Then again, I didn’t want to think about the next place we would be driving to.

“Kenzel,  you need to eat” Dad’s voice said from behind me. “Eat so you can take this”- handing me another pill. “Dad, I don’t need it. I’m all cried out. I”ll be fine.”

I looked up at him as he held the tranquilizer out for me. “Take it.”

“Dad, seriously, please.”

“Take it.”

I picked the horse size pill out of his hands and looked at it as he walked away.

Tears formed but at this moment they weren’t because I was sad over having to bury Mom. On top of everything, Dad wasn’t willing to believe I would be ok…that I didn’t need the influence of a drug.

I glanced over at my cousin Pam, a specialist as an RN/ER Nurse. She must have observed the situation and her eyes were still fixed on me.

I looked down in shame. She got up from her chair and walked over.

“You know you don’t need that.”

“I know, I told him. I don’t like how it makes me feel either. But he doesn’t believe me when I tell him I’ll be okay” and I took it. Downing the glass of water to wash away the nasty taste.

“He’s dealing with this the best way he knows how.”

I nodded, still finishing the water.

The tears started to flow, making it hard to see, until they started cascading down my cheeks.

The drive that day to the cemetery went in slow motion. I kept wishing (and hoping) that I could somehow take my hands and stop the car from pressing forward in motion. Each mile got us closer to an ending I was unprepared for.

The tranquilizer on an empty stomach was doing me no favors.

Finally parked in front of the Mortuary, I opened the door and stare at the ground. Stepping out, I look at the building behind our car and think to myself, “What are we doing here? This isn’t really happening…” Walking towards the door, I can feel my body moving but am not connecting that my feet are in motion.

Is the world spinning? I’m not sure I can feel my jello like legs.

Yes, I am breathing.

Someone opens the door I am staring at – I step in. I’m reminded of the sterile smell of the hospital, but I’m sensing an underlying presence. In a hospital, there is still hope. In a cemetery the only hope is your prayer for eternal salvation.

Wait…this is the same place we came the other day to select Mom’s casket. I wonder about turning back the hourglass.

My head slowly turns as my body follows my feet. I recognize no one. I see a chair in the corner and sit down. Maybe if I sit I will sink into the cushion and translate into a different time and space. Someplace where death is unknown. My opportunity to do so is limited…

Dad approaches me, then gestures with the prompt, “It’s time to go in” (go in where? I think to myself.)

I stand – or try to – and realize I’m under “full” sedation now.

“I don’t know if I can make it back there, Dad.” He and my Aunt stand on either side of me and provide their arms to keep me upright.

How ridiculous and embarrassing this is.

We arrive at and pause outside a room down the hall. Inside, there is a silver casket set up. As I recall, Mom asked for a plain wooden box – but the day we came to purchase it they said they didn’t stock that style. Oh – Nooo…Mom is in that silver casket! I stay on the far side of the room.

I watch as people walk in and one by one walk by – then glance. They touch her folded hands, say something quietly and move on. Some say a prayer and then their good-byes.

I am in a blur. I continue to try and edge closer to her casket but fear steps in and I back away. I finally notice my older brother in front of the casket and I go stand next to him. We exchange soft conversation. He leans over and kisses her forehead. Observing him do that makes me grimace…(for some reason I think of Judas kissing Jesus in Gethsemane. I have no idea why)

Even now, in real time I weep heavily as I recall this.

After he kisses her forehead I slowly reach out to touch her folded hands. The hands that held me tightly after waking from a bad dream. The hands that held my hair back when I had a stomach bug, the hands that made the hurt — hurt less — or not at all.

Her hands are like ice. I am horrified. They are hard, cold, devoid of all that makes God’s created body beautiful. Her ash-gray colored skin is unnatural.

This is not normal. I look at her and think silently “Wake Up.” Nothing, no response. In my mind I think, maybe if I say those words out loud, she will come out of this. I whisper “Wake Up – please?” Still nothing.

I cannot believe I am staring at her. I cannot believe she is not breathing. Living. Loving. Laughing. I do not comprehend how this is possible.

I step away and return to the casket a couple more times. It’s not long before staff enter the room and it’s evident that graveside services will proceed. I walk out before they close the lid.

This is sickening.

I do not recall the graveside ceremony. Apparently I took my camera with me that day (for whatever reason???) because I snapped a picture of the group standing in front of her grave. My Dad was front and center of her burial plot. I have not seen that photo in some time. I do not know if I want to see it.

I recall her Memorial service – she had pre-selected her favorite songs to be sung (Just as I Am, Amazing Grace among them) and I vaguely recall the repast (gathering after the funeral and church service)

The memorial service was rough because Mom raised me in church and I attended with her frequently, having started Sunday School there. To be there in her memory and not have her the physically present felt like a radical paradigm shift.

My (future) sister-in-law drove me home following it. Of all things, Home, was the last place I wanted to be. (It really, really hurts to say that right now, too.) I didn’t want to see all these people in the house, I didn’t want to reflect and talk about Mom, in the past-tense…

I wanted this day to be different, but I had no idea how to direct the GPS. So I did all I could do and asked: Please, God, stop this nightmare…

 


 

I’ve spent a few minutes wondering what kind of visual I could give you to emulate what I felt that week and the weeks and months to follow – even 33 plus years later.

I didn’t want to focus on an actual funeral related scene (like Steel Magnolias) because I need to convey something on a different scale that was more complex. More encompassing.

So, here it is:

Gravity Opening: Incoming Debris

I picked this one because the main characters have a brief warning about impending trouble (my Mom battled her illness for 10 months) and when the first of the unthinkable events happen it is so sudden that, well – just watch, you’ll see.

I also picked Gravity because of the reality that we exist on a planet created by Yahuveh Ahava and this earth is under gravitational force. Out in space all the rules are changed and Ryan and Matt face incredible obstacles and choices in an environment not suited to their nature. The day Mom died…I too discovered all the rules changed and I was thrust into the unknown. Those of you who have lost someone know exactly what I’m talking about.

Related Scriptures:

Part of my healing journey in this Testimony Series is to let Him guide me into His Word (and you as well) scriptures that uncover His Truth amidst the pain, suffering so that I  (we) emerge in victory: healed, stronger and healthier. Please seek Him and ask for greater understanding. His Victory – is Ours. By His Stripes, we are healed.

Mark 7:20-23

Mark 8:22-26

Luke 5:4

Luke 6:21

Luke 9:60

Where I’ve Been – 5 Months of Grace

When I started blogging, four or five years ago…I had no idea the journey ahead of me.

There have been times when I needed to pause from blogging. Some of these “pauses” I might have, at one time, attributed to “Writer’s Block;” but I’m beginning to realize that most of the time these “pauses” have been at the discretion – and direction – of The Father.

This past Winter, was one such time.

I think we can all agree the Presidential Election this past fall brought about some very unexpected results. It was just after the election though, that something occurred, which caused me to take this most unexpected pause.

I received feedback from a reader. The feedback was innocent. There was nothing said that was mean or disrespectful. But in that tiny, unsuspecting response…I spent days, weeks (okay, yes, months) contemplating IF I should even continue blogging. I questioned many things…among them my ability to write, to discern and to accurately convey messages from the Holy Spirit.

Today was the day I was directed to go back and review the post that started this “5 months of Grace.” He wanted me to go back and see where I had stumbled because He wanted me to recognize that stumbling isn’t failure. It’s a pivotal time in our walk of Spiritual Growth. These moments are necessary for us to progress.

Personally, I needed to go back and review what it was that made me feel like I’d needed to retreat. And it turns out that this was another step in His learning curve.

In the days since I returned and wrote my first entry last month, I kept wondering why there had been such a “dry” season of writing. I knew it was about discernment but I also knew He wanted to tell me more. The LORD responded:

“From the beginning (2009), you were prompted to blog because you have something to say. Because, your words matter – because you seek ME. Everyone who SEEKS ME will FIND ME.

Last year, you had begun to look elsewhere for words to share from other’s. It’s fine to share insights, but don’t supplant your voice. Until such time as I direct, your words, your writing, are your voice. A Fresh voice – a voice that isn’t echoing what the World keeps repeating. The People don’t need to feast on WORLDLY wisdom: The people NEED the Light of the World.”

Talk about feeling humbled.

Who AM I that God would use me to reach – even ONE person – who needs HIM?

(Please don’t miss this beautiful song from Casting Crowns – Who Am I? )

So, yes…It turns out I needed to step away from here for a season. Usually, that’s a bad thing in the WORLD of blogging. But – this blog really isn’t mine. From the start it’s always been HIS.

 

Memoir Excerpt: ICU

I looked on the floor and noticed a college ruled spiral notebook staring up at me. At the top I had written:

 

Matthew 11:28

March 1987 – Evening

 

I read through the “journal-style writing.”

I did not write this in 1987, I’d written this within the past 5-10 years. I’ve never felt led to share any part of what I have written towards the memoir on this blog, until now.

 

Matthew 11:28-30 New Living Translation (NLT)

28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

 

Maybe by presenting a snippet of the story here, it will allow me to continue the journey and face the work ahead.

 

————————————-

Scene

I walked into the ICU, dazed and numb. I stood next to the bed, staring at my Dad. This seemingly strong, determined, “can-do” anything 59 year old man was laying in a hospital room. Attached to his sturdy, yet earthly frame were a myriad of tubes and life support systems.

Watching him breath in and out, and seeing the machines monitor his body made me cringe and tremble…

 

“Dad, don’t go. Stay here, please! I need you. You’re all I have left. I can’t lose you, too. We still have a few tennis games to play on the court. You’re my coach…I don’t want another. I’m not ready to give up yet. And I’ve barely gotten to know you. I need more time. It’s too soon.”

 

I prayed over him. I asked God to give me a miracle. To bring him back. I leaned against the gurney and watched him breathe. Looking at his chest move up and down. Waiting. Asking him to open his eyes. Touching his hand, asking him to squeeze it and tell me he could hear me.

I yearned to give him a hug. I leaned my head against his arm and cried.

_________________________________________

 

I don’t think I’ve cried about that moment since it happened back in 1986. It is just as real today as it was when it happened that night.

But God is good and that is why I am sharing this excerpt, here and now. This is my “free write” time as I get ready to dive in and allow God to do what He does best. Make something beautiful out of all these ashes.

Blessings,

Kenzel

 

 

 

Shared from WP: Author Interview

Sharing this for those who are bloggers/writers who have hopes and dreams (or felt “called”) to publish.

Robin E. Mason interviews Edie Melson.

WEEKEND WITH THE WRITERS CONFERENCE INTERVIEW BLITZ – EDIE MELSON – http://wp.me/p2j59i-kF

Crossing the Jordan: “Write”

8049101-compass-on-vintage-map

God definitely has a sense of humor. But, he also knows how to deal with us lovingly, directly and how to best get our attention.

I am really tired right now.

Two nights ago the Spirit awoke me at 1:30 am. I did not get to fall into deep sleep until 6am. Granted, I laid there and flip-flopped between reading my bible, praying and doing my best to focus on him. I also read through my WP reader blog and then went back to prayer. That sleepless night has made for a rough two days. I can’t seem to get caught up on rest. Which I usually try and focus on since I am working on healing my borderline Adrenal Fatigue & Hashimotos – but I digress. Sleep or the lack thereof is not the point.

Ten minutes ago, I was tinkering with what blog post I should write next. I started, deleted. Started and got frustrated..I was ready to run for the hills in search of chocolate.

While chocolate is a mainstay for many people, I am seriously trying to kick the sugar habit. Sugar is toxic to my gut/thyroid. I have done enough reading to know sugar nor chocolate are my friends.

So, as I paused at the keyboard and held my head in my hands I asked God “What can I eat that will help this craving? What will help curb this?

Five minutes later, after I dried my daughter’s hair and went to brush my own, I got my answer: “Write.”

The response was actually a double answer. Always remember to be careful what you ask for!

Last year, when I was still on facebook, I remember a ton of people saying what their “Word of the Year” was for 2015. I started asking the same question but never heard anything. (Note: I did ask once or twice about this in the days leading up to New Year’s.)

As I stood there and brushed, the Holy Spirit conveyed:

“You don’t need chocolate to satisfy a craving. Nothing from this world will satiate what your soul is needing. You have a story to tell, God’s Story. You see it as darkness, sin and shame. He sees you and all that happened. It was for a purpose. Let Him work through you to display His Glory. So that you too can see the same things He does.

You need to ‘Write,’ that is your Word for the year.

Chocolate won’t replace what it is that needs to be dealt with. You need to cross the Jordan. You need not fear. You have the power of Jesus within, you possess it. Let him be your compass. Keep your eyes fixated on the one who is leading you.”

It will be worth it.

Trust Me. Believe Me. Write. 

Joshua 3 New Living Translation (NLT)

The Israelites Cross the Jordan

Early the next morning Joshua and all the Israelites left Acacia Grove[a] and arrived at the banks of the Jordan River, where they camped before crossing. Three days later the Israelite officers went through the camp, giving these instructions to the people: “When you see the Levitical priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant of the Lord your God, move out from your positions and follow them. Since you have never traveled this way before, they will guide you. Stay about half a mile[b] behind them, keeping a clear distance between you and the Ark. Make sure you don’t come any closer.”

Then Joshua told the people, “Purify yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do great wonders among you.”

In the morning Joshua said to the priests, “Lift up the Ark of the Covenant and lead the people across the river.” And so they started out and went ahead of the people.

The Lord told Joshua, “Today I will begin to make you a great leader in the eyes of all the Israelites. They will know that I am with you, just as I was with Moses. Give this command to the priests who carry the Ark of the Covenant: ‘When you reach the banks of the Jordan River, take a few steps into the river and stop there.’”

So Joshua told the Israelites, “Come and listen to what the Lord your God says. 10 Today you will know that the living God is among you. He will surely drive out the Canaanites, Hittites, Hivites, Perizzites, Girgashites, Amorites, and Jebusites ahead of you. 11 Look, the Ark of the Covenant, which belongs to the Lord of the whole earth, will lead you across the Jordan River! 12 Now choose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe. 13 The priests will carry the Ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth. As soon as their feet touch the water, the flow of water will be cut off upstream, and the river will stand up like a wall.”

14 So the people left their camp to cross the Jordan, and the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Covenant went ahead of them. 15 It was the harvest season, and the Jordan was overflowing its banks. But as soon as the feet of the priests who were carrying the Ark touched the water at the river’s edge, 16 the water above that point began backing up a great distance away at a town called Adam, which is near Zarethan. And the water below that point flowed on to the Dead Sea[c] until the riverbed was dry. Then all the people crossed over near the town of Jericho.

17 Meanwhile, the priests who were carrying the Ark of the Lord’s Covenant stood on dry ground in the middle of the riverbed as the people passed by. They waited there until the whole nation of Israel had crossed the Jordan on dry ground.

 

Father,

I pray for the strength to carry out this directive, to remain obedient. Fill me with your wisdom and understanding…

The Lord’s Prayer: (Book of Matthew)

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed by thy name. Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For thine is The Kingdom and The Power and The Glory, forever and ever.

Amen

 

 

 

 

 

Writing for the Right Reasons

When was the last time you looked yourself square in the mirror and thought about the truth?

What if the truth is a double edge sword?

What if the truth would set you Free, but Fear holds you back?

It’s very easy in this fast paced, high technology world for the majority to lean towards finding the easiest path…whether or not it’s the right direction. With plentiful access to

Fast cars

Fast computers

Fast Food at the same place you find

Faster internet connections

Fast, Fast, Fast: the only words that seem to count anymore

Fast, Faster and Fastest…doesn’t always get the job done, thoroughly or the right way. Does anyone reading this recall the childhood tale “The Tortoise and the Hare?” But I digress….

A Conference & A Critique

A few years back when I was still participating in a local writers group, I decided to sign up to participate in a regional writer’s conference. I figured it would be good practice before going to a National Conference.

Part of our registration included having a sample of our work critiqued by a published author.

I spent weeks working on a manuscript I’d started. Weeks was all I had left. I think I might still have it buried under a pile of papers but I almost hope I never set eyes on it again.

When I sat down that day to receive my critique, it was nearly one of the worst days of my life. The first words out of my reviewers mouth were: “I don’t know where to start.” The second set were “I hated it. The character, the personalities, all of it.”

Though I hadn’t “tuned out” to their review after those two sentences, I believe I’d entered a state of shock. My head spun, I felt dizzy. I had no appetite even as I sat down to lunch after.

I remember mentioning to my fellow writer friends that my writing career was already over, and I hadn’t even made it to the starting gate yet. I remember all 3 (or 4) of the ladies begging me not to give up. Not to give in. That I could make it past this set back. And one bad review does not a writer make.

It’s been at least 3, but maybe 4 years since that happened. But what I’m realizing is that while I had attempted to write romance and adventure…I was barking up the wrong tree.

I’ve heard many times I should write Dystopian or Post Apocalyptic or some kind of fiction that deals with chaos. The reading public is gobbling that up right now.

Set-Apart

What I’ve ignored up to now are my own strengths. Thinking that I should write what will sell. Thinking I should write what people want to read. Problem is, if God made each of us unique and I try to mold my abilities around someone else’s success or around “what’s hot”– what does that say about me? What does that say about my unique, God given gifts. Worse, with all the life experiences He has provided – if I don’t write about those, who benefits?

We are surrounded by darkness. But God put his people here to help keep his light shining.

I was first introduced to “darkness” when I was about 6 years old, though I didn’t realize it at the time. The first time I vividly remember “darkness,” I was 15. Years later I tried to talk about it and write about it but unlike many topics today, the topics I was ready to discuss were hushed and taboo.

I bring writing up today because I am especially fond of reading books and movies. I’ve read a couple of Harry Potter (seen all the movies), read the Hunger Games trilogy (seen movies). I just finished reading Twilight (today, in fact)  and part of Breaking Dawn (seen all the movies), Divergent Series (seen movies).

Each of those characters was unique but something was missing for me. I don’t know what it was. I’m still figuring that out. Writing is a very difficult process. Each of us brings our own skill set. Each main character is unique and had to come from somewhere within the authors creative force…I’ve liked all the books I’ve read, in one way or another.

That being said, I don’t want to write just to fill a niche space. I want to write out of passion for my topic or from first hand experience. Lots of people are scared of the dark. Scared of the skeletons in their closet because it’s hard to recognize when you’re in the trenches that exposing Fears and cleaning out the closets actually creates light, freedom and peace.

God whispered to me not long ago that he would heal me, but only IF and When I was ready to let him work with me here on the blog.

So be it…Writing is a process. Finding peace is a process. Show me the way, Lord. And so the journey begins anew.

Thanks for listening,

-Kenzel

Timeliness

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My last post was 10 days ago. I feel really “blog parched.”

I was on assignment. I wrote. Tough writing.

I faced my worst fears from the past (at least some of them.)

I promise you, it wasn’t pretty.

That being said, Nanowrimo ended today. The goal was to write 50 thousand words in 30 days.

I fell short of 20k, by 3 words.

F-A-I-L-U-R-E

But then I went to Church today. And I learned about someone I’d never heard of. Mephiboseth.

And I cried.

I am Mephiboseth. Maybe you are, too? Maybe we all are!

The more I read the word, the more I identify with so many of these legendary people.

These people weren’t so different that you or me.

And here we can read about them.

Learn about them, study them and understand what we should be doing!

They had fears. They had joys. They loved and they mourned.

What they didn’t have, they didn’t necessarily need.

But what God wanted them to have, He gave them and gave them plenty!

KNOW This

God is Good. He is my provider. He is my ROCK.

I probably could feel crushed by not having completed the 50k word WORLDLY Nano goal.

But, I won’t. Because I know God’s not done yet.

He’s watched me grow the last 3 weeks. He’s dried tears. He’s typed words for me when I knew I couldn’t

Maybe His plan wasn’t for me to finish, because it’s not my time to be there yet.

I’ve come to realize we learn the most when we are still, and yet remain focused on Him.

His message to me over the last few weeks was that I needed to start healing; it’s imperative.

So, the lesson I learned this month is summed up well by this inspirational meme:

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I am on the road to becoming just who God wants me to be. That is the only strength I need.

Maybe His message to me, to us, is that even if change is scary it’s important. We don’t grow unless we do.

Sometimes we have to #Shake things up a bit to discover who we are!

May you be Blessed this week and feel God’s love surround you!

-Kenzel